Would you please grade my IELTS report

[Blueness]

Ok i have my exam after 4 days so please wish me luck , I need to get about 6.5 overall score so i can join a college in the UK. Anyway, here is the question: ImageShack® - Online Photo and Video Hosting

and this is my answer

Unemployment figures rate among women are constantly changing. In this report, I will be explaining these changes.

Firstly, we can easily notice that 18 years women have percentage of 15%, then its slightly decrease to 10% among 20 years females. Women who age 25 and 30 have rate of 5%. At the age of 33 approximately , the rate goes up dramatically to the peak giving women with age 45 the highest percentage by 20%, then it fells down historically to 10% until it reaches the 55 years old women, after that, It climb very slowly, and this mean about 11% of 65 years old women dont work.

To sum up. 45 old women have the most disappointed results, and the 25 old women have the best results.


personal statement: I wrote about 135 words i totally forgot about the words counting.

Thank you.

[Pete J]

Hi

I'm glad you noticed that your answer is too short for IELTS Academic writing task 1. Your IELTS score will be affected if you write less than 150 words for task 1.

The good news is that you may find it easier to write a longer answer in your IELTS test because in the real test the graph, chart, table or diagram will probably contain more information than the graph you summarised here.

If you get a line graph, for example, it will probably contain at least two lines.

To see an example of the type of graph you may have to summarise, check out my blog post 'IELTS Academic writing task 1: what information should you include?'.

To see an example answer, check out my blog post 'IELTS Academic writing task 1: what information should you include? (2)'.

Good luck,

Pete

[omarbog4]

Hi Pete,
But if you would grade this article, how much would you give it ?

[omarbog4]

Hi Pete,
But if you would grade this article, how much would you give it ?

[Pete J]

Hi Pete,
But if you would grade this article, how much would you give it ?

Hi

I know it's useful to see band scores for IELTS writing texts, but it's not appropriate to give this summary an IELTS band score.

As I said above, the graph that the writer summarised is not a good example of the graphs used in real IELTS tests.

The best place to find example answers with band scores is in the Official IELTS Practice Materials Volumes 1 and 2 or the Cambridge IELTS series (e.g. Cambridge IELTS 7 or 8).

Best wishes,

Pete

[Deoman]

Hi,
I would have given you band 5 to 5.5.The reason is that 1st paragraph must be able to give overview of the graph.Secondly it is not wise in ielts to directly write about percentage rather it would be appropriate to compare with other given data..Just 3 distinct trend are sufficient as far as i can remember from my ielts experience as i got 7.5 in my writing,academic .The examiner must be able to visualize the graph from your given description.At last summary is very important to represent whole graph in 2lines.Task 1 contains 3.6 band task 2 contains 5.4.