Need correction on ITELS task 1! Need to achieve band 7 on this.

**IELTSPT** · 06-10-2012, 07:42 PM

You have recently moved to a different house.
Write a letter to an English-speaking friend. In your letter

Explain why you have moved
Describe the new house
Invite your friend to come and visit

Dear XXXX,

Hi there. How are you? Are your studies going well? Are you enjoying the London lifestyle? I’m writing to you to tell you some news about my girlfriend and me.

As you know, our last apartment was too small for us, so we decided to move to another one near the center, more beautiful and with plenty of space.

This new flat is in Areeiro with a lot of facilities nearby. It has two bedrooms, both with plenty of space and each of them with a large wardrobe, which is really important to get our clothes in. It also has a wonderful living room where we, finally, can through some parties and invite our friends to have dinner with us. This new living room has one wall only made of windows that fills it with full of sunny light every day. Isn’t our new flat great?

We are wondering when you are going to come and visit in order to see our new flat. We miss you a lot. Why don’t you pay us a visit next August, during your school holidays?

Let us know if you decide to come around. We will be glad with your visit.

Kisses, «me»

**ielts2u** · 06-11-2012, 08:40 AM

I think you will go close to a 7.0. You are doing all the task asks of you and the language is suitable.
The problems with this letter are in brackets below.
You have recently moved to a different house.
Write a letter to an English-speaking friend. In your letter

Explain why you have moved
Describe the new house
Invite your friend to come and visit

Dear XXXX,

Hi there. How are you? Are your studies going well? Are you enjoying the London lifestyle? I’m writing to you to tell you some news about my girlfriend and me. (me should be I)

As you know, our last apartment was too small for us, so we decided to move to another one near the center, more beautiful and with plenty of space. (after centre there should be a colon (

).

This new flat is in Areeiro with a lot of facilities nearby. It has two bedrooms, both with plenty of space and each of them with a large wardrobe, which is really important to get our clothes in (This clause is meaningless. Why not say: "which is useful for all the clothes shopping we plan to do!"). It also has a wonderful living room where we, finally, can through (throw) some parties and invite our friends to have dinner with us. This new living room has one wall only made of windows that fills it with full of sunny(sun) light every day. Isn’t our new flat great?

We are wondering when you are going to come and visit in order to see our new flat. We miss you a lot. Why don’t you pay us a visit next August, during your school holidays?

Let us know if you decide to come around. We will be glad with your visit.(We'd love to see you.)

Kisses, «me»
2.