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[Mohammed]

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

 

People have different views about becoming a professional in certain fields such as sport and music. Although there are good arguments in favor of inherited skills that are considered a vital to be a good sportsman or musician, I personally believe that anyone can be a professional by training.

 

There is a group of people claiming that well-known and talented people are born with certain skills. They assert that being good at some fields comes from one’s genes. A good example of this can be Ronaldo or Messi. These football players are exceptionally talented that no one can reach their power and performance in spite of hard training sessions. This means that this sort of people are gifted. As such, famous musician like Bethoven or Motzart can be included to this list. They had unordinary musical talent that not many people possess.

 

Another group, by contrast, feel that everyone can be taught to be a skilled in music or sport. They concede that everybody has a capability of being a good sportsman or composer. To take the famous Hollywood sportsman and actor- Silvester Stallone as an example, he was very weak physically in his childhood that everyone laughed at him. However, later on, he trained hard and eventually became such a strong sportsman. Hence, it is felt that a human-being can do anything, if he or she has an intention for it

 

.To sum up, while there are some convincing points about being skillful hereditary, from my perspective, however, a hard work and deduction is a key to become a professional in any field.

Edited February 28, 2014 by Mohammed

[priyamne]

Hi,

Find below the corrections in your essay.

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

 

People have different views about becoming a professional in certain fields such as sport and music. Although there are good arguments in favor of inherited skills that are considered a vital to be a good sportsman or musician, I personally believe that anyone can be a professional by training.

 

There is a group of people claiming that well-known and talented people are born with certain skills. They assert that being good at some fields comes from one’s genes. A good example of this can be Ronaldo or Messi. These football players are exceptionally talented that no one can reach their power and performance in spite of hard training sessions. This means that this sort of people are gifted. As such, famous musician like Bethoven or Motzart can be included to this list. They had unordinary musical talent that not many people possess.

 

Another group, by contrast, feel that everyone can be taught to be a skilled in music or sport. They concede that everybody has a capability of being a good sportsman or composer. To take the famous Hollywood sportsman and actor-Silvester Stallone as an example, he was very weak physically in his childhood that everyone laughed at him. However, later on, he trained hard and eventually became such a strong sportsman. Hence, it is felt that a human-being can do anything, if he or she has an intention for it

 

.To sum up, while there are some convincing points about being skillful hereditary, from my perspective, however, a hard work and deduction is a key to become a professional in any field.

 

The portions marked in Bold Letters need changes. Below are the instructions on how to change the sentences:

 

 

1. That are considered vital to become a good sportsperson… (‘a’ is not needed before vital)
   
2. Beethoven or Mozart (the spellings are incorrect)
   
3. Extraordinary (not unordinary)
   
4. Taught the skills required to be good at sports or music
   
5. Sylvester Stallone (the spelling is incorrect)
   
6. That he had become a laughing stock for everyone
   
7. One of the most eminent sportsperson
   
8. It can be seen that a human being can do anything
   
9. Hard work and dedication
   

 

Score- 5/9

 

Thank you

Mnemonic Team