pooni Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 could someone please rate me for following writing ? The diagram below shows how the Australian Bureau of Meteorology collects up-to-the-minute information on the weather in order to produce reliable forecasts. The flowchart illustrates how the Australian bureau of meteorology provides the latest information on the climate conditions by using different sources of data for broadcasting trustworthy forecasts. At the initial stage updated information collected by three different ways, from satellite in space, radar on the ground and drifting buoy from the sea. On the next stage they must analyze and process assembled raw data to do clarification from satellite photos, radar screen and synoptic charts and then preparing for broadcasting. After finishing the preparation section, it’s time to emission final information to the media, consist of TV newsreaders, radio programs or recorded announcement for letting users know. thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nostril5 Posted July 13, 2014 Share Posted July 13, 2014 Hi, This looks like a mix of scores! could someone please rate me for following writing ? The diagram below shows how the Australian Bureau of Meteorology collects up-to-the-minute information on the weather in order to produce reliable forecasts. The flowchart illustrates how the Australian bureau of meteorology provides the latest information on the climate conditions by using different sources of data for broadcasting trustworthy forecasts. This is a good introduction, but it looks like you were using a dictionary? The only real mistake was not using capital letters for "Australian Bureau of Metereology", so I guess it is an 8.0? At the initial stage updated information is collected by three different ways, from satellites in space, radar on the ground and drifting buoys from the sea. In the next stage they must analyze and process assembled raw data to do clarification from satellite photos, radar images and synoptic charts and then prepare for broadcasting. This paragraph should get you a 6.0. In the diagrams and graphs, single nouns are used, but in your task, you will need to choose if you need a plural noun! After finishing the preparation section, it’s time to transmit final information to the media, consisting of TV newsreaders, radio programs or recorded announcements to let users know relevant information. A 6.0 again? So, overall, this would be a low 6.5. To improve your score, the plural noun problem needs to be addressed. A final sentence showing some analysis or a concluding statement is also a good strategy to show the examiner that you are hunting for a higher score. For example: "The use of such varied sources of data is likely to require complex analysis to provide forecasts which the public can trust." thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pooni Posted July 13, 2014 Author Share Posted July 13, 2014 (edited) That's very helpful ... you know i think my weakness is lacking of idea ... i know how to write introduction but don't know how to write body to get more score ... i will working on it . Thank a million . Edited July 13, 2014 by pooni Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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