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IELTS TASK 1


pooni

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Dears i wrote another essay for academic task 1 ,

I would be appreciated if you guide me or tell me my mistakes .

The charts below show the results of a survey of adult education. The first chart shows the reasons why adults decide to study. The pie chart shows how people think the costs of adult education should be shared. Write a report for a university lecturer, describing the information below.

 

Both following bar and pie charts illustrate the conclusion of mature instruction. The Bar chart demonstrate causes that why mature people going to study. The Second one illustrate people’s views in adult education expenses which should be shared.

Adult decided to study for different reasons which is related to different point of view and also different positions. Majority of them desire to increase their level of education to gain qualification or are interested in specific subject, this group believe that it should be pay by their own individually, Around average of them study for particular target like improving in prospects of promotion, enhancing in current job and enjoy learning and study which are think that It should be pay by employer, and the minimum range of adult study to find a way to alter their job or to meet new friends, that they think it should be pay because of taxpayer.

 

 

Thank you in advance:)

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Both following (article missing; ‘following’ not appropriate) bar and pie charts illustrate the conclusion (wrong word) of mature (wrong word- you have attempted to paraphrase which is good but chosen a word which is not a correct synonym in this context) instruction. The Bar chart demonstrate (subject verb agreement) causes that why (grammar error) mature people going to (wrong tense- should be present simple) study. The Second one illustrate (subject-verb agreement) people’s views in (wrong pronoun) adult education expenses which should be shared.

 

Adult (should be plural) decided (tense?) to study for different reasons which is related to different point of view and also different positions. (Article missing) Majority of them desire to increase their level of education to gain qualification (plural needed) or are interested in specific subject, (punctuation error- this is a new sentence) this group believe that it should be pay (tense- verb should be passive) by their own individually (??), Around average (wrong word) of them study for (article) particular target like improving in (wrong word) prospects of promotion, enhancing in (same) current job and enjoy (use the -ing form) learning and study which are think (??) that It should be pay (passive) by employer, (all of the following needs rewording to make sense) and the minimum range of adult study to find a way to alter their job or to meet new friends, that they think it should be pay because of taxpayer.

 

(You need to put in specific data – figures from the graphs. You need a summary statement).

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