nick jonas Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 Some people say university students should pay all their fees. To what extent do you agree or disagree? In modern era, proper education has become the backbone of materialistic world and mostly it is required from individuals to get a degree from university in order to stay in the fierce competition of job market. Some frequently argue that students should cover their own expenses without any financial aid from state or college. Nevertheless, I completely disagree with this opinion. To begin with, in terms of financial background or economic situation families differ in all communities. In other words, there are countless smart and ingenious teenagers who are living below the poverty line. It will be unreasonable to demand full amount of fees from these students, whose families even are not able to meet daily basic needs. Consequently, if any country govern the regulation of demanding entire amount tuition fee from students, it will result in the growth of the disparity between rich and poor and bring negative influences to society. Moreover, skilled politicians, doctors and engineers are essential for raising country’s profile in international arena and by providing financial assistance to students governments can benefit from them in the long run. On the other hand, some people often subscribe to the view that instead of spending money on impecunious teenagers, state can allocate more budget to its economics, industry or healthcare facilities. However, I broadly agree with this belief. Education and young generation are the foundations of a society and any amount of money that spent on them is investment on the future of society. To conclude, as far as I am convinced, tuition fees should not be a burden for students while they pursue higher education and governments or colleges should take steps to make contributions to society by providing financial support to teenagers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ok2go Posted April 3, 2015 Share Posted April 3, 2015 Edit your essay to make sure the development is smoother with better linking, the conclusion is more justified by the development, paragraphs are clearer in their focus, and (especially) that you remove words that are wrong for the context. It is good to use a wide vocabulary, but not in the wrong context or with the wrong meaning or an exaggerated meaning e.g. state can allocate more budget to its economics/ countless smart and ingenious teenagers/ impecunious teenagers. Whenever you post requesting feedback (not many people with proper skills will mark your essay with detailed feedback on a public forum) it would be useful to say what sort of level you expect. Also search for and download the IELTS public band descriptors to get an idea of what examiners are looking for. Best wishes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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