the most important aspect of a job is the money a person earns.Use specific reasons

[goldpetals]

I certainly agree with the fact that money is the most essential aspect of a job.

Nowadays when a person looks for a job he prefers a high income to any other aspects of a job,although,some people say that money is the root of all evil,but even so it is realised that one cannot survive without it.people need money to purchase material items,food to survive and even entertainment.

There were days when money had less importance to a person than today,but as time is passing each and everything has become so expensive that one has to give more preference to money than any other aspects.

Today,to educate a child a person needs twice as much money than before,thus,as a result,when choosing a job a person will obviously put the money forward.

Money is a necessity,and almost everyone can agree to this fact that financial security makes a man's life easier.When a person do a lot of hardwork at his job naturally he would like to earn that much money that besides, spending on his routine expences he could save it for future.People usually save their money for any emergencies,specially for health purpose , for example,this is a case of one of my friend whose father had blood cancer,although he was treated in one of the best hospitals of our city,but still he couldn't make it.He died because their financial position was not quite strong,doctors advised him to go abroad but they couldn't afford the expenses.He had died last year but his family is still on loan as you know that medical expences are very expensive .

Although,money is important for us,it is what keeps the world going but this doesn't mean that one develops a love for money,as the love for it can cause great damage.

Considering,the above reasons and example one can easily understand why money is the most significant feature of a job?therefor a good choice must be made from the beginning.

 

please give me a band score for this essay.and tell me my mistakes.i'll be very gratefull

thanks.

[sheragimzand]

[i think that you forget two important things :first do not choose your organization where is your blueprint? and your support? you write every fact in the world that is clear!! but your essay is excellent

 

QUOTE=goldpetals]I certainly agree with the fact that money is the most essential aspect of a job.

Nowadays when a person looks for a job he prefers a high income to any other aspects of a job,although,some people say that money is the root of all evil,but even so it is realised that one cannot survive without it.people need money to purchase material items,food to survive and even entertainment.

There were days when money had less importance to a person than today,but as time is passing each and everything has become so expensive that one has to give more preference to money than any other aspects.

Today,to educate a child a person needs twice as much money than before,thus,as a result,when choosing a job a person will obviously put the money forward.

Money is a necessity,and almost everyone can agree to this fact that financial security makes a man's life easier.When a person do a lot of hardwork at his job naturally he would like to earn that much money that besides, spending on his routine expences he could save it for future.People usually save their money for any emergencies,specially for health purpose , for example,this is a case of one of my friend whose father had blood cancer,although he was treated in one of the best hospitals of our city,but still he couldn't make it.He died because their financial position was not quite strong,doctors advised him to go abroad but they couldn't afford the expenses.He had died last year but his family is still on loan as you know that medical expences are very expensive .

Although,money is important for us,it is what keeps the world going but this doesn't mean that one develops a love for money,as the love for it can cause great damage.

Considering,the above reasons and example one can easily understand why money is the most significant feature of a job?therefor a good choice must be made from the beginning.

 

please give me a band score for this essay.and tell me my mistakes.i'll be very gratefull

thanks.