09-27-2005, 03:06 PM
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#1 (permalink) |
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The Joke Thread !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THE JOKE THREAD
I am not joking, I am serious abt this thread  Lets put the best of the ROFL jokes we know and share the with others........   Life Before the Computer An application was for employment A program was a TV show A cursor used profanity A keyboard was a piano! Memory was something that you lost with age A CD was a bank account And if you had a 3 ½ inch floppy You hoped nobody found out! Compress was something you did to garbage Not something you did to a file And if you unzipped anything in public You'd be in jail for awhile! Log on was adding wood to a fire Hard drive was a long trip on the road A mouse pad was where a mouse lived And a backup happened to your commode! Cut - you did with a pocket knife Paste you did with glue A web was a spider's home And a virus was the flu! I guess I'll stick to my pad and paper And the memory in my head I hear nobody's been killed in a computer crash But when it happens they wish they were dead!
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09-27-2005, 06:19 PM
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#2 (permalink) |
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Real ale taster
Moderator Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Scunthorpe, UK
Posts: 1,990
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coolpaggy,
Good idea. Like the definitions. Incidentally people with what might be euphemistically described as 'adult' jokes might care to consider if this thread (Marriage Guidance) would be more appropriate for that type of humour. Michael
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09-27-2005, 09:44 PM
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Engineering
What's the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers? Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets. HARD CHICKEN Scientists at NASA have developed a gun built specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields. British engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high speed trains. Arrangements were made, and when the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurtled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, crashed through the control console, snapped the engineer's backrest in two and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin. Horrified Britons sent NASA the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield, and begged the U.S. scientists for suggestions. NASA's response was just one sentence, "THAW THE CHICKEN!"
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10-09-2005, 01:50 PM
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AN APPLICANT
An applicant was filling out a job application. When he came to the question, "Have you ever been arrested?" He answered, "No." The next question, intended for people who had answered in the affirmative to the last one, was "Why?" The applicant answered it anyway: "Never got caught." RESPONSIBLE PERSON Employer to applicant: "In this job we need someone who is responsible." Applicant: "I'm the one you want. On my last job, every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."
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10-09-2005, 02:49 PM
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Providence-bound!
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Providence, RI
Posts: 3,394
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Quote:
Good one! |
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10-09-2005, 07:59 PM
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A "NAUGHTY" JOKE
A burly good 'ol boy Texan on a flight flags down a steward and says, "Captain, I want a drink but I don't see the stewardess around". The steward answers, "Actually I'm not the captain. This airline is proud to have integrated many of the traditional male-female roles of the industry. I'd be happy to get you a drink". Passenger: "Wow, what does the captain think of that?" Steward: "She's all for it, in fact, the entire flight crew is female." Passenger: "I don't believe it!! Take me up to the cockpit so I can see for myself!" Steward: "Actually sir, we don't call it that anymore."
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10-16-2005, 05:21 PM
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A JOKE
A man and his son were walking through a cemetery. The boy asked, "Daddy, do they bury two people in the same grave?" The father said, "Two people? Let me look." So the father took a look, and sure enough, the marker said, "Here lies a symphony conductor and a humble man."
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10-16-2005, 05:36 PM
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Dumbledore's Army
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 3,465
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Quote:
 ok.. i am not telling anything that would tempt others to call me dumb. i understand this joke perfectly well and i am rofl... PS: on a more serious note, can somebody PM me what this joke means...  |
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10-16-2005, 05:58 PM
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