Thank you gifts for recommenders

**possible_phd** · 01-15-2009, 05:38 AM

Hey, guys. Now that application season will officially be wrapping up for me in the next day or so, I'm wondering what I can do to show my gratitude to my recommenders. I've of course already sent them a ton of e-mails thanking them over the last few months, but I would like to get them a physical token of my gratitude.

Have any of you bought thank you gifts? Are you planning to? Any ideas? I'm thinking about a gift card of some sort, but I don't know. Something about it doesn't seem right.

**lily9** · 01-15-2009, 10:54 AM

I'm not sure about a gift card, it kind of looks like you're giving them money, doesn't it? It's okay as an impersonal gift (as a group or whatever) but otherwise I would avoid it. At least in Europe it would be inappropriate.

Obviously, it depends on your recommender and your relationship with them. Personally, I would go for food - chocolates, wine, that sort of thing. Or something you've done yourself, if you're good at cooking and bake great cakes, for example. I think it would express your gratitude better than money, especially if they know you relatively well (which I suppose they do, since you ask them for recs).

**possible_phd** · 01-15-2009, 01:48 PM

I'm not sure about a gift card, it kind of looks like you're giving them money because you didn't want to spend time choosing an actual gift, doesn't it? It's okay as an impersonal gift (as a group or whatever) but otherwise I would avoid it. At least in Europe it would be inappropriate.

It's not viewed that way in the States. Gift cards are extremely common, even among immediate family members. I actually got a gift card from my brother this past holiday season, and I don't view it as unthoughtful, necessarily.

It isn't a matter of not wanting to take the time, it's a matter of not knowing them extremely well, personally. We have good relationships, but they aren't best friends or anything -- I don't know what kind of wine they like, what their hobbies are, if they even like chocolate, etc.

I think the reason I don't like gift cards in this situation is that it's almost like I'm paying them for their letters, since it's effectively cash. Even if a gift cost the same amount as the gift card, it doesn't feel as much like a bribe, I guess.

I think I like the food recommendation, though, so I might do the chocolates thing. Thanks!

**PhDCPA** · 01-15-2009, 01:53 PM

I sent mine Starbucks gift cards. They seemed to appreciate it, since I sent the cards along with one final letter request. The turnaround was about one day for all three of my references!

**possible_phd** · 01-15-2009, 02:00 PM

haha Well, it has been shown that giving a smaller incentive BEFORE someone does something is more effective than the promise of a larger incentive afterward.

**lily9** · 01-15-2009, 02:35 PM

Originally Posted by possible_phd

I think the reason I don't like gift cards in this situation is that it's almost like I'm paying them for their letters, since it's effectively cash. Even if a gift cost the same amount as the gift card, it doesn't feel as much like a bribe, I guess.

That was exactly my concern! I think "gift cards" that have no monetary amount written on it could be ok - such as those that give right to two tickets to the cinema, something like that. I usually receive gift cards from groups of people (e.g. at the end of an internship), but it would seem strange to me to give one to a prof I know well because 1) I'm a poor student and they clearly have more money than I do, so what looks like a reasonable amount of money to me might just be ridiculous for them and 2) I believe teaching, advising and writing recommendations creates real human relationships (after all, you let that person influence not only your career but also the way you think), so a gift card would seem very impersonal to me. That, and of course the "bribing" issue you mentioned.

**PhDCPA** · 01-15-2009, 07:52 PM

I don't think it implies I was paying for the letters. I live quite far from all of my references, so it really isn't practical to send them physical gifts. Plus, let's be honest: a $20 gift card to a business professor could hardly be construed as a bribe... it would cost a lot more than that! I think of it more as a "hey, thanks, let me buy you a coffee."

**possible_phd** · 01-15-2009, 08:02 PM

I'm not saying anybody will ACTUALLY think it's a bribe; I'm just saying it feels a little funny to me to give a gift card, and I think it's because it is essentially a gift of cash.

If I can't find a suitable physical gift, you can bet I'll be sending gift cards, too.

**satsuma** · 01-15-2009, 11:01 PM

I sent my letterwritters Sees Candy (easily orderable online). Everyone loves Sees, at least here on the west coast. It's not uber fancy chocolates, but it's not russell stover either, and they can include a gift note with your online order.

I think gift cards are kinda tacky. Just send chocolate, if your letter writers don't like chocolat,e they'll give it to their kids/wife. Remember its the thought that counts.

**doriangray2009** · 01-20-2009, 04:50 PM

I sent my recommenders thank you letters with CDs I burned for them, each getting a different couple of albums. But I am pretty close to each of them, so I suppose that this wouldn't be appropriate for many people.

If a recommendation letter is used to empower you, why not write them your own letter that empowers each of them? No money concern, it requires a great deal of thoughtfulness, & it returns in kind what they have done for you.