Proper way to decline.

[kniwor]

I finally received the package with formal terms of offer etc from Kellogg. Now the thing is I want to Decline all other other offers I've got so far asap. What is a proper mail to compose. Do I tell them where I will be joining, or just that I've received a better offer and that's it. I'm looking to do this quickly hoping offers will then be extended to others here in my school.

[Thesus]

I'm not sure you need to put too much into it, they're not uncommon. If you tell them where you plan to go or not, it shouldn't make a difference. Just be polite.

[walt526]

Short and sweet. Something along the lines of...

 

 

Dear XXX,

 

I am writing to respectfully decline your offer of admission. While XYZ represents a wonderful opportunity, after careful consideration I have elected to pursue my graduate education at ABC instead. Thank you very much for the offer.

 

Sincerely,

 

XXX

[tm_member]

Seriously, they don't care. They just want a decision. Be polite though, as you never know where you will end up after your PhD...

 

Two sentences.

 

"Thank you for your generous offer. I will not however be attending xxx."

[kniwor]

It's not the point whether they care or not, it is best to be sensible on one's own part.

 

Thanks walt526

[shy_student]

walt526, thanks a lot!

Now I know what kind of style and language I should use!

[zurich_econ]

A more trivial question: If you receive an email from a prof signed "Best, John" do you reply with "Dear John" or rather with "Dear professor Jones"? Is this the same for the US and the UK?

 

And if you receive a mail along the lines "Dear zurich_econ. Come to our department, it's the best, if you have questions please call!" Are you expected to reply in such a case?

[walt526]

Glad it was helpful, Shy!

 

Zurich, unless you know a professor personally, I'd err on the side of formality and address him/her as Professor Jones. For example, over the past several weeks I've exchanged a few emails with Professor Wooldridge and he always signs it as "Jeff," but until I meet and get to know him, it just seems more appropriate to address him more formally.

[The MAN]

Do a reverse rejection letter:

 

Dear University,

 

This year I have received a number of highly qualified admission. I'm sorry to say that I just couldn't accept yours at this time. etc.

[good_tea]

 

Dear University,

 

This year I have received a number of highly qualified admission. I'm sorry to say that I just couldn't accept yours at this time. etc.

 

Unfortunately, I am able to attend only one PhD program...

[Jake S]

Do a reverse rejection letter:

 

Dear University,

 

This year I have received a number of highly qualified admission. I'm sorry to say that I just couldn't accept yours at this time. etc.

 

Haha this is the best by far :tup:

[tm_member]

Haha this is the best by far :tup:

 

This comes up every year! Always makes me chuckle...!

[kniwor]

I guess they do care a bit and are interested in knowing where we end up. I did not write about where I'm going in my mail and I got a reply from one of the places saying thanks for letting them know and they'd like to know where I'm going. adding "maybe we'll be talking to you in 5 years time"

[baj393]

If a professor signs their email with their first name, then they are asking you to call them by that.

Thus, I will only put Professor xyz until they sign with something else; then I will put that.

This is my rule of thumb and has always worked.

[Team3]

Since we have conflicting advice on the first-name basis for professors, I wanted to second walt's advice.

 

Signing an email with one's first name is not a uniform invitation to begin a first-name relationship; "Please, call me Jill" is an invitation to call her Jill.

 

Use some common sense, control for age and relationship, and transition to a first-name basis when appropriate.

[kniwor]

Since we have conflicting advice on the first-name basis for professors, I wanted to second walt's advice.

 

Signing an email with one's first name is not a uniform invitation to begin a first-name relationship; "Please, call me Jill" is an invitation to call her Jill.

 

Use some common sense, control for age and relationship, and transition to a first-name basis when appropriate.

 

I suppose that's the effect of exposure to corporate culture, where using first name seems to be a norm (then again, I may be wrong).

[greeneggs]

Do schools reimburse you for flyouts? You may still want to visit the schools; sometimes people change their minds in surprising ways after seeing what the places are like.

[kniwor]

Do schools reimburse you for flyouts? You may still want to visit the schools; sometimes people change their minds in surprising ways after seeing what the places are like.

 

 

I'm an international, so cant really attend flyouts.

[greeneggs]

Fair enough. You'll definitely love it at Kellog anyways. You'll get some good karma from the other schools for letting them know so early too.

[wobuffet]

If a professor signs their email with their first name, then they are asking you to call them by that.

Thus, I will only put Professor xyz until they sign with something else; then I will put that.

This is my rule of thumb and has always worked.

Interesting... that makes a lot of sense. I assume you err on the side of caution and go with Prof. Wabba if they sign LW (for Lionel Wabba)?

[walt526]

We'll just have to agree to disagree. As with the "what do I wear to flyouts" thread that we had a few weeks ago (before the outage), my feeling is that it's always better to err on the side of formality. Addressing a professor by his/her first name won't phase 95% of those out there (they've all been called worse), just like wearing jeans and a polo shirt won't bother most. But on the off-chance that you encounter someone who does take offense, then I just think it's better to address them formally until you've met them and to show up for flyouts in khakis and a button-down shirt (with a tie and sports coat in the car, if you need it). First impressions matter and I'd rather do everything possible to avoid making a bad one, even if the vast majority of people would not care.

[kimbanator]

If I get an e-mail signed by a first name, I usually respond addressing by the first name, though I may be more cautious if the professor is older and less familiar. I respond to signed initials with the formal "Professor XXX."

 

After working in the private sector for a large company where first names are the norm (even for the CEO), period, some of the formality in academia seems pretty archaic and even a little arrogant to me.

[walt526]

After working in the private sector for a large company where first names are the norm (even for the CEO), period, some of the formality in academia seems pretty archaic and even a little arrogant to me.

 

My former working environment was even less formal. I worked for a number of years in the construction industry (as a purchasing agent for an electrical contractor) where it was not unheard of to start out emails (both to co-workers as well as outside contacts) with:

 

"Hey jack***,"

 

"You mother******,"

 

"You whiny b****"

 

 

Fun times. :)

[asquare]

It's common for graduate students to call professors by their first names, though I agree that it's prudent and polite to wait until explicitly invited to do so. Many professors take care of this quickly -- introducing themselves by their first name in class, or saying, "call me Bill."

 

At flyouts and in communications with professors before you begin first year, though, I personally think calling faculty "Professor Jones" is more appropriate. Especially when you are declining an offer of admissions, you are corresponding with someone with whom you don't have and are not about to establish a personal relationship. There's no downside to erring on the side of formality here, so why take the risk of seeming presumptuous?

[Diplomer]

May I ask two probably stupid questions?

 

First: is it neutral or positive to start an email just with the name? (Instead of "dear Mr.T", just "T"?

Second: what exactly means "business casual"? Typically, I am associating formal dress code with a tie and so on when I hear "business". I am, however, currently confused about the formulation "we are very casual, so nothing more but business casual will be called for".