I know you are an expert. Probably you are an AP at some very good program.
Besides that, maybe because of my broken English, I could had sound arrogant in some way. Trust me, it is not the case and I apologize if you and chateauhaert or other people here understood in this way.
I totally aware that I am an weak and old candidate. I listen to good advice from you and people close to me. The problem is the inverse, I listen to too much good advices and when I put all them together some are conflicting.
I recognize yours advices probably are the most rational ones, but at the same time I remember you told to some candidate asking for advice that people here were speaking about his life and that he should take the advices with a grain of salt (not exact with these words).
My feelings are the same, I have listened to all of you, but I feel I need to try, I want to try. You make your point and now I know it is a irrational choice, but I can nor fight against it. Maybe two years from now I can change my mind or new issues make me avoid this path.
I am very gratefull to all you for being sincere with me.