My girlfriend and I are in different programs, and the two biggest difference in our chances to succeed are our will to put in the work for Quals, and our wanting to spend four to six years with the people around us and in our departments' offices. In the top schools, getting professors you can work with or whatever is important, but outside of the stratosphere, the department environment is so extremely important.What is your usual schedule? How many hours a day do you spend at school? Weekends? How social is the department? Do people hang out together outside of school?
Where do first year students study? Do they have offices? What are the first year classes like? Are they well taught? Do they turn out to be useful?
I'd ask how much the first years go out together (it should be fairly common), how many people drop out on their own, how smoothly the printers, copiers, and computers in the graduate student/department lounge run, etc.
One way, I think, to gauge how close the department is, is to ask which bars are popular amongst the graduate students (it should be easy to name a couple, and there should be more than one).


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