Essay - outstanding or disastrous? please, evaluate

[YuliyaB]

To paraphrase Elie Wiesel, “More dangerous than anger and hatred is indifference. Indifference is not a beginning, it is an end – and it is always the friend to the enemy.”
Assignment: Do you believe that Wiesel's view is valid?

Nobody likes being hated. People think that the most outrageous thing that may happen to them is animosity. But nobody has ever thought that there is one even more atrocious thing than aversion called indifference. Sometimes it is better to be abused than do not get any attention. Without any feelings going toward us the life is worthless.

A lot of Russian writers assigned the problem of indifference in their books. The outstanding star of Russian literature A.S. Pushkin even had a chain of stories dedicated to the life of so-called small men. These small men are examples of such kind of people whom we do not look at in our trivial days. In one of those stories the main character (whose name we don't even know), a station watcher, has a daughter. The young officer takes this beautiful, gorgeous girl from her father, when she becomes an adult. After that accident father does not see her until one day. When he visits the officer's house, he gets an access to see his daughter only for some minutes. He sees that the girl is totally distracted, she doesn't like her life. But the old man can do nothing. He goes home and continues to live his lonely life. A couple of years passes and the daughter comes to see her father to her old house. But she acknowledges he is dead. The story Station watcher shows the misery of some men, because of their object social status and indifference from outside.

Pushkin continued the line of “small men” in the other outstanding writing called “A copper rider”. The story is about a man who stands so abject in comparison to the big city. In the end he commits suicide because of his miserable life and loss of the girlfriend. But, as always, nobody notices it. The big city continues to live its aloof life.

Gogol proceeded Pushkin's idea in a story “Overcoat”. A “small man” is an executive there. He spends each day of his life in the same way. He works, and works, and works. Nothing in his life is changing. Nothing is happening. Other people are indifferent to Akakii Akakievich. Even after his death nobody notices him being as a ghost. This story scares its readers. I bet nobody would like to be in the place of the character.

It is so awful to know nobody cares about you. The state of being alone is worse than death. So sometimes you'd better feel happy if somebody says you enrage him. Nonetheless, you are not forgotten.

[Erin]

Originally Posted by YuliyaB

To paraphrase Elie Wiesel, “More dangerous than anger and hatred is indifference. Indifference is not a beginning, it is an end – and it is always the friend to the enemy.”
Assignment: Do you believe that Wiesel's view is valid?

Nobody likes being hated. People think that the most outrageous thing that may happen to them is animosity. But nobody has ever thought that there is one even more atrocious thing than aversion called indifference. Sometimes it is better to be abused than do not get any attention. Without any feelings going toward us the life is worthless.

A lot of Russian writers assigned the problem of indifference in their books. The outstanding star of Russian literature A.S. Pushkin even had a chain of stories dedicated to the life of so-called small men. These small men are examples of such kind of people whom we do not look at in our trivial days. In one of those stories the main character (whose name we don't even know), a station watcher, has a daughter. The young officer takes this beautiful, gorgeous girl from her father, when she becomes an adult. After that accident father does not see her until one day. When he visits the officer's house, he gets an access to see his daughter only for some minutes. He sees that the girl is totally distracted, she doesn't like her life. But the old man can do nothing. He goes home and continues to live his lonely life. A couple of years passes and the daughter comes to see her father to her old house. But she acknowledges he is dead. The story Station watcher shows the misery of some men, because of their object social status and indifference from outside.

Pushkin continued the line of “small men” in the other outstanding writing called “A copper rider”. The story is about a man who stands so abject in comparison to the big city. In the end he commits suicide because of his miserable life and loss of the girlfriend. But, as always, nobody notices it. The big city continues to live its aloof life.

Gogol proceeded Pushkin's idea in a story “Overcoat”. A “small man” is an executive there. He spends each day of his life in the same way. He works, and works, and works. Nothing in his life is changing. Nothing is happening. Other people are indifferent to Akakii Akakievich. Even after his death nobody notices him being as a ghost. This story scares its readers. I bet nobody would like to be in the place of the character.

It is so awful to know nobody cares about you. The state of being alone is worse than death. So sometimes you'd better feel happy if somebody says you enrage him. Nonetheless, you are not forgotten.

This is a great start and has a lot of potential. It would probably get a 4 out of 6 or a 5 out of 6. I have a couple of suggestions to improve--try to vary your types of examples. You could use Pushkin for one example and a personal example for another. Also, it seems that your essays shifts a bit from talking about indifference to talking about loneliness or isolation.

I really like your introduction.

And thanks for commenting on the essays of others.