please grade my SAT essay

[nHyper-x]

Think carefully about the issue presented in the following excerpt and the assignment below.

“For a variety of reasons, people often make choices that have negative results. Later, they regret these choices, finding out late the bad choices can be costly. On the other hand, decisions that seem completely reasonable when they are made may also be the cause of later disappointment and suffering. What looks like a wonderful idea at one time can later seem like the worst decision that could have been made. Good choice, too, can be costly.”

Assignment: are bad choice and good choice equally likely to have negative consequences? Plan and write an essay in which your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.


Admittedly, under the circumstance that at a specific time your choice may approach your goal, good choice does have a positive aspect. On the other hand, whether the positive or negative aspect and result of a choice depends on time and people, I rationalize the sentiment the bad choice and good choice equally likely to have negative consequences as what a saying contents “a great work must stand the test of time and different people”. My judgments will be convincing through the reasons and examples as addressed blow.

The great history of human reveals some decisions that we made is wrong, even though our ancestors may think those decisions are benefit. The pollution of water may be the best example that can aggrandize the exhortation of my point of view. Nowadays, scientists have found DDT in a great number of species in the pole of the earth. How does the polluted water do with the species? Because of the water recycling of the earth and the chain of the ecosystem make those fauna get poison. Although the DDT is a kind of pesticide which benefit the farmer a lot, such “ good choice” result in more serious environment problem. We can acknowledge from the examples that good choice does not always do good to us.

The profit of the good choice depends on different people that can be observed from the common example. It is a common sense that suppose a group of man want to rob a bank (that may be a great choice for them to get a large sum of money), and they successfully get one billion dollar. Do you think the choice benefit you a lot (suppose you are the manger of the robbed bank)? Of course not. The example and assumption may be not appropriate but the simple example do indicates that the result of a choice depends on different people.

Demonstrating the personal experience, I allege that the consequence of the choice not only depends on people but also depends on time. When I was a child, I always played the video games days and nights although that choice made me very happy. After years, my scores in the whole period of the secondary school were low. When I came across the problem that I need have a high score to get access to the noted high school, I regret the choice I have made that made me waste a lot of time on such useless thing. Although the choice may seems benefit, the result of the choice is negative as the time lapses.
As the old saying goes “every coin has two sides” the good choice may cause a negative consequence as the bad choice does. Emphasis certainly, the choice must stands the test of time and different people as I have demonstrated above.

[Codename Gordon]

Admittedly, under the circumstance that at a specific time your choice may approach your goal, good choice does have a positive aspect. On the other hand, whether the positive or negative aspect and result of a choice depends on time and people, I rationalize the sentiment the bad choice and good choice equally likely to have negative consequences. As a saying contends: “A great work must stand the test of time and different people”. My judgments will be convincing through the reasons and examples as addressed below (you don't realy need this sentence).

The great history of man reveals some decisions that we made are wrong, even though our ancestors may think those decisions are beneficial. The pollution of water may be the best example that can aggrandize the exhortation of my point of view. Nowadays, scientists have found DDT in a great number of species in the pole of the Earth. What does the polluted water do with the species? The water recycling of the Earth and the chain of the ecosystem make that fauna get poison. Although the DDT is a kind of pesticide which benefits the farmer a lot, such “ good choice” results in a more serious environmental problem. We can acknowledge from the examples that good choice does not always do good to us.

The profit of the good choice depends on different people that can be observed from the common example. Suppose a group of people want to rob a bank (that may be a great choice for them to get a large sum of money), and they successfully get one billion dollars. Do you think the choice benefits you a lot (suppose you are the manager of the robbed bank)? Of course not. The example and assumption may not be appropriate but the simple example do indicates that the result of a choice depends on different people.

Demonstrating personal experience, I allege that the consequence of the choice not only depends on people but also depends on time. When I was a child, I always played video games days and nights although that choice made me very happy. After years, my scores in the whole period of the secondary school were low. When I came across the problem that I need to have a high score to get access to the noted high school, I regret the choice I have made that made me waste a lot of time on such a useless thing. Although the choice may seems beneficial, the result of the choice is negative as time lapses.
As the old saying goes: “Every coin has two sides.” The good choice may cause a negative consequence as the bad choice does. Certainly, the choice must stand the test of time and different people as I have demonstrated above.

Welcome to TestMagic, nHyper-x!

Your first essay is a good try, although it needs a lot of polishing. You are able to think logicaly, and I like your witty examples. You have a number of mistakes I indicated in red. When you fix those, you get a very good essay.

By the way, I totally agree with you that computer games are a REAL waste of time. Personal experience.

Good luck on your SAT and make sure you tell us how it went!

Rating: 4/6.