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Thread: Could you please rate my SAT essay?

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    Trying to make mom and pop proud
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    Could you please rate my SAT essay?

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    Assignment;

    Honesty is important, of course, but deception can actually make it easier for people to get along. In a recent study, for example, on out of every four of the lies told by participants was told solely for the benefit of another person. in fact, most lies are harmless social untruths in which people pretend to like someone or something more than they actually do ("your muffins are the best!").

    Adapted from Allison Kornet "The Truth About Lying"


    Is deception ever justified? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. support you position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.


    Essay;

    Deception is sometimes justified. People shouldn’t be satisfied with themselves when they play this card every time they can, but it is true that sometimes it is required. It shouldn’t be used fallowing a mean purpose as human ethic dictates; Actually it dictates that lies shouldn’t even exist in our thoughts. However people deceive, ignoring with that action this principle.
    The best relationships are based in always telling the truth. That can get us strong commintment towards friends or causes, so strong that we would be willing to lie to protect them. Lying in order to cover a friend or an important cause is often considered as a good action depending on the scenario. Jose Marti, the most remarkable character in Cuban History, said that there are some things that in order to realize them you have to keep them in the shadows. Moreover, probably he had to lie one or two times to carry on with the Cuban revolution after all, but no one would dare to say that he was a mean man just because of that.
    The feeling of guiltiness when you lie must not be lost. If that happen people get used to the shortcuts that a lie can provide, and therefore become ‘addict’ to it. Yes, lying deliberately can get those who don’t know when it’s better to say the truth in a hole very hard to come out . Like a friend I have that is always customizing his stories making them so glorious that seem out of this world. At the end we always discover that those stories are lies, and he is trying to make us think that he is amazing. Ultimately we just stopped believing what he said; whether it is true or not. Now, it is so hard to trust in whatever came out of his mouth.
    There is the difference between using deception because it’s necessary and for a major good, or because you like it. I would like to believe that I will always say the truth, unless there is a life or death matter on the table that requires me to lie. That is how, in my thought, humanity must behave.



    * English is not my native language.

    Thanks!!

  2. #2
    Ankylosaurus Forum Admin Erin's Avatar
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    Are you still around? I can give some quick feedback on your essay. But very briefly--the essay looks to have some good, intelligent ideas. It could be a bit longer, though.

    Erin
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    Trying to make mom and pop proud
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    Transitions

    Hello,

    I would suggest that you use transitional words/phrases such as in addition/additionally, consequently, as a result, for this reason, moreover, however, on the other hand, furthermore....and others, whichever apply...
    Overall organization is good, but I could try to give you a more thorough feedback if you want.

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