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toefl ibt preparation


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hi, i am new in this forum. i have recently joined this forum , and i need help.i am gonna have toefl ibt test by next month. Is there someone who can help me in this regard , actually i wanna practice my writing section through this forum . I just want to send my essays on this forum and is there someone who can check my essays and correct me and can guide me in other sections as well . Positive attitude wil be really appreciated.:)
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hi here is my essay on the topic that If you could change one thing in your country what thing would you change ?Give reasons to support your answer ;

There are so many things that i would like to change but the most important to me is the Illiteracy rate which is very high .Since i belong to Pakistan where the percentage of educated people is very low.This is not because people have no access to the institutions instead people are not aware of importance of eduction .In such circumstances , if i could do something i would like to do the following things ;

First,i would like to make schools in every community so that people do not hesitate to send their kids to schools. Because sometimes parents are reluctant to send their children to schools if the schools are away from home.

Second , i would make schools in villages and towns .Because i have observed that in villages children have passion to get education but due to lack of available resources they cannot get education . I would make education free for all .

Third , i would use telecommunication media to support my campaign .As more and more people are aware of my ambition through this media , they might be get motivated .And the day is not far when education will be at every door step.

 

Please check my essay and correct me and give me suggestions to improve my ideas.I ll send more essays on this forum .:)

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