toefl ibt writing essay

[toefl ibt sum]

Hi teachers and friends,

 

I am new to this forum. I have my toefl exam next month. I would be greatful if some body can correct my essay.

 

Thanks and Regards.

 

Essay topic: University classes mandatory or optional.

 

Different universities have different policies and rules regarding class attendance for their students. Most of the universities require their students to attend regular classes, where as some universities have optional class attendance policies. However, I believe that going to classes should be mandatory for students. In general univesities with compulsary class attendance are top rated than those with optional attendance. I hold this opinion for few reasons such as real world experience, social skills & team work and discipline.

 

Firstly, many courses in the universities require real world experience, even though students have good theoretical knowledge from books. For example, medical students require both theoritical knowledge from books and clinical experience on patients. It is impossible to become doctor without real life experience. Although educational qualification is essential for many jobs, ultimately the real life experience is the drive that makes people to cotinue their career successfully. Many universities know the essential knowledge required for students, so their curriculum permits students to learn things gradually. If students dont attend classes, it is less likely that they are exposed to many new experiences.

 

Secondly, most of the subjects in the universities requires social skills and team work. Regular class room environment allows students to interact with each other, especially in group discussions, debates, quizzes and social activities. For example, business majors intend to pursue careers in business administration, Sales & Marketing, Human resources, systematic class schedules with group activities and internships provides them great opportunity for future job world. Even fast developing Information Technology field requires people to work as a team which brings success to their company. Strong social skills are essential in almost every field of study, therefore attending regular classes plays very important role in promoting these skills.

 

Lastly, attending organized schedule of classes permits students to develop discipline. This systematic plan allows students to organize time frame for every task in future career which would give them fruitful results in the competitive world.This discipline permits them to balance career and life, allows handling difficult situations very smoothly. If chance is given for optional classes, most of the students choose only interesting subjects and they might miss the important knowledge from rest of the subjects. For example students seeking part time courses are less successful than students perceiving full time regular classes in any field of study.

 

To conclude, I definitely support the idea that university students should attend classes on regular schedule because it allow them to experience real world, to develop social skills and discipline:)

[aydin]

Hi I would like to ask a few question before giving my advice.How many hours have you spent on this essay?I think 3 body paragraph is too long for toefl since you will not have a great deal of time in a real exam.By and large it seems to me perfect and keep this way of writing I hope you will get a high score.good luck

[Tino]

Aydin, agreed, I dont think this essay was written in 30 minutes under pressure. Good essay though!

 

Tino

[toefl ibt sum]

Hi Aydin and Tino,

 

Thanks a lot for your reply. I took some time to prepare this essay. I thought it would be better to prepare some nice essays without time limit of 30 minutes for few days of my initial preparation. Any way, it is better to follow the time limit. Thanks for your advice.