lionontheshore Posted January 19, 2015 Share Posted January 19, 2015 Hello! I am preparing for TOEFL by my own, and unfortunately I don't have anyone to grade my essay. I would be infinitely grateful if you could spare your precious time to have a look on my essay and grade it! I am willing to hear any form of advice or comment on it, every single one would be of a great help to me. Thank you very much! That's 559 words by the way. Question: Has television destroyed communication? Almost everybody loves watching the television. Since its invention, television has been loved widely across the whole world and caused many people to be addicted to it, until terms like ‘couch potato’ were even made. Because of this nature, television is often accused of being the prime suspect of breaking bonds between families and friends. However, I don’t think this is true at all. In this essay, I would provide some reasons and explanations to corroborate my view. Majority of the people who advocate the idea of television severing relationships imagine a rather common scene: family members or friends not talking to each other because they are too busy watching the television in their own rooms. However, I think this is a rather erroneous stereotype. As far as I know, most of the families have a single television in their living room, rather than separate ones in their own rooms. And when they want to watch a programme, they watch it together in the living room. Instead of destroying communication between family members, television actually help to bring them together. If it weren’t for the television, I am pretty sure the people would rarely come out of their rooms to spend time with their family. The second reason why I think television can help to improve communication is because they provide topics to talk and discuss about in our everyday lives. Television shows a variety of programmes regarding numerous topics- celebrities, politics, animals, science, and so many more that I can’t even state them all. It is quite common for us to discuss about whatwe have watched in the television with our families and friends. Without television, I am pretty sure we would be deprived of topics to talk about. As an expatriate, I remember how boring my life used to be before the local television had included the channel from my home country. After the change, surprisingly I found myself talking more often with my parents as we discussed about the television programmes we have watched, or telling one another about programmes that either I or they missed. I became closer to my parents and now there isn’t hardly a day I don’t talk with my parents about things I have watched in the television. Television also helps to improve our communication skills and language. I believe watching television is one of the best ways to improve your pronunciation and listening skills, or learn a new language. While watching programmes, we can naturally grow familiar to listening and analyzing information. Not only that, it helps learning a new language fairly easy, as what you see on the screen supports what you hear. Even though you are completely ignorant on the language, you can still understand what is going on. For instance, most of the babies learn how to speak from children’s programme nowadays. They follow what the characters are saying naturally while watching them. Even the scientists acknowledge that this is a pretty effective way to help the children’s linguistic skills. As a conclusion, I would like to state that television has made our life so much enjoyable by rendering valuable information and helped us to indulge in more talks with our families and friends, although this fact is denied by some people who are still unwilling to accept the benefits television has brought into our lives. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asha Posted January 20, 2015 Share Posted January 20, 2015 This is very good essay.I am also preparing for toefl. According to my thought u may get 28. The words 559 is excellent.My advice u should complete your essay on time.Good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lionontheshore Posted January 24, 2015 Author Share Posted January 24, 2015 Thank you very much :) Good luck to both of us! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ingman Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 The topic opened too long ago but I've just saw yet. There is something caught my attention, words count of the essay. I heard that in writing section of TOEFL, if we write too long essay, that's mean we couldn't explain our idea briefly. In this case, negative situation occurs for us according to examiners. It is also the same in IELTS. Is there anybody who have information about this? Additional, lionontheshore, Did you take TOEFL after opened this topic? :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lionontheshore Posted March 23, 2015 Author Share Posted March 23, 2015 The topic opened too long ago but I've just saw yet. There is something caught my attention, words count of the essay. I heard that in writing section of TOEFL, if we write too long essay, that's mean we couldn't explain our idea briefly. In this case, negative situation occurs for us according to examiners. It is also the same in IELTS. Is there anybody who have information about this? Additional, lionontheshore, Did you take TOEFL after opened this topic? :) Hello ingman, Thank you for your comment :-D First of all I didn't take TOEFL after this, I plan to take it next year ;-) And for the word count, I have seen a youtube lecture saying that the longer it is, the better. Thank you :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Said Omer Posted May 11, 2015 Share Posted May 11, 2015 Hi guys. I took the toefl a few days ago and now I am worried about the writing section. After I read the instructions, I was foolishly misguided by the amount of words, so I wrote a one paragraph essay instead of several paragraphs. The paragraph that I wrote was good though. Now I am worried what my grade for writing would be. what do you guys think my score will be? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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