lets smile guys before the august TSE

[NadiaS]

Why English is a Pain to Learn:)

 

 

- The bandage was wound around the wound.

 

- The farm was used to produce a produce.

 

- The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

 

- He could lead if he would get the lead out.

 

- The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

 

- Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

 

- A bass was painted on the head of bass drum.

 

- When shot at, the dove doves into the bushes.

 

- A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

 

- The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

 

- There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

 

- They were too close to the door to close it.

 

- The buck does funny things when the does are present.

 

- To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

 

- The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

 

- After a number of injections my jaw got number.

 

- Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

 

- I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

 

- How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

 

 

English is a Stupid Language (poem)

 

Lets face it

 

English is a stupid language.

 

There is no egg in the eggplant

 

No ham in the hamburger

 

And neither pine or apple in the pineapple

 

English muffins were not invented in England

 

French fries were not invented in France.

 

 

We sometimes take English for granted

 

But if we examine paradoxes, we find that

 

Quicksand takes you down slowly

 

Boxing rings are square

 

And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

 

 

If writers write, how come fingers don’t fing?

 

If the plural of tooth is teeth,

 

Shouldn’t the plural of phone booth be phone beeth.

 

If the teacher taught,

 

Why didn’t the preacher praught?

 

 

If vegetarian eats vegetables,

 

What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?

 

Why do people recite at a play

 

Yet play at a recital?

 

Park on driveways and

 

Drive on parkways.

 

 

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy

 

Of a language where a house can burn up as

 

It bums down

 

And in which you fill in a form

 

By filling it out

 

And a bell is only heard once it goes!

 

 

English was invented by people, not computers

 

And it reflects the creativity of the human race

 

(Which of course isn’t a race at all)

 

 

That is why

 

When the stars are out,

 

They are visible

 

But when the lights are out,

 

They are invisible.

 

And why is it when I wind my watch,

 

It starts?

 

But when I wind up this poem,

 

It ENDS?

[gagan 83]

hi nadia,

very informative, satirical post.in this forum of serious stuff ur post gave a titillating effect that brought smile. keep up the good work.

take care

gagan