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#025: It has recently announced that a large


rosie

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#25: It has recently been announced that a large shopping center may be built in your neighborhood. Do you support or oppose this plan? Why? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

 

There would be both advantages and disadvantages to having a new shopping center in our neighborhood. I am worrying about traffic and how it will affect our neighborhood. But, I think that it will provide us convenience and bring us some job opportunities.

 

A new shopping center near our neighborhood would most likely cause traffic congestion. Our streets are narrow, with parking on both sides. More cars traveling through our neighborhood could cause a lot of congestion. Traffic means parking problems too. At present, we often have traffic jams in rush hours. If we have a new shopping center near our homes, it will be from bad to worse.

 

However, if there is a new shopping center near our neighborhood, it would easier for residents of our community to go shopping. We now have to drive half an hour to go shopping. Every week we have to spend two hours for shopping, one hour is wasted on the road to go and back. It is very inconvenient for us to get something in sudden needs. With a new shopping center close to our home, we would get everything easily.

 

Finally, having a new shopping center would bring some job opportunities and neighborhood businesses. The jobs would be cashier or food carriers in the shopping center. Also, we could have some neighborhood businesses close to the center, such as a snack bar, a recreation club and a coffee shop. People could drink a cup of coffee, play some games and have some snack after shopping.

 

There are a lot of details to consider, but all in all, I support the idea of this new shopping center in our neighborhood.

 

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Hi rosie (pretty name :D),

I think your examples are pretty good, and for this type of question I myself also like to discuss both advantages and disadvantages the new plan would bring. in your eassay I see that you have very good examples for your ideas, in both the in- and convenience aspects. But since you support the plan, you should point out that we have more convenience than in-.

I like your ideas:

+bad thing(s):causes traffic jams

 

+good thing(s):

.lowers the distance

.gives more jobs & encourages neighborhood businesses

 

But your thesis statement for the good things is not clear:

But, I think that it will provide us convenience and bring us some job opportunities.

The convenience here is too broad. And you did't mention encouraging neighborhood businesses, which is contained in the topic sentence of para 4:

Finally, having a new shopping center would bring some job opportunities and neighborhood businesses

In my opinion you should give you analysis about why though traffic congestion is a big problem the plan would bring, you still want to approve it. For instance, do you think time saving and job providing would help the residents more than the traffic problems would bother them ?

 

Just my own thoughts, not the test teachers :D

 

I'll come back later cuz it's time for me to leave the Internet cafe :cool:

 

All the best for ya, rosie ;)

 

verhor

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Hi rosie!

 

Generally, your essay is good and simple. I like that manner of writting. Your grammar is pretty good. Your examples are strong and from real life.

 

But I have some points which would a little bit improve your essay.

 

Firstly, the coclusion is too short. It should be at least 2-3 sentences long.

 

Secondly (as verhor already said), you should have stressed your point of view. After reading the intro I thought that you probably are for the new shopping center. After reading the body I was confused and only the coclusion explained me your point of view.

I think in the intro you should have written something like that: dispite this problem (heavy traffic) a new shopping center would brings us more advantages: convienience, jobs, etc.

 

Third, I slightly don't like the 2nd para, because it looks a bit disorganized. Maybe you should use some linking words.

 

And that's it.

 

I want to say my own oppinion about discussing both advantages and disadvantages. I don't like it. I don't see anything in the topic that asks me to do it. Of course, you can mention some problems, but I believe you shouldn't discuss them widely.

 

That's is ONLY my oppinion.

 

Anyway, good luck in writting more wonderful essays.

 

Hi verhor!

 

Welcome to guru training school! :)

Are you posting all these great posts from a internet cafe? Wow! That's interesting.

 

Renata

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Thank you very much! Verhor and Vaya. I am so luck with your opinon.

 

Rosie

:) You're welcome!!!

Hi verhor!

 

Welcome to guru training school!

Are you posting all these great posts from a internet cafe? Wow! That's interesting.

 

Renata

 

Yeah, my modem has been out of work :). And, sad but true, VN is one of the coubtries where Internet fee is the highest :p. However the fee at Internet cafes is twice as lower as that at home :D.

 

So I would like to allow people access to the Internet for free were I to do #006 :D

 

300 to all of you,

 

verhor

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  • 1 month later...

TOPIC #25:

 

It has recently been announced that a large shopping center may be built in your neighborhood. Do you support or oppose this plan? Why? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

 

ESSAY:

 

Construction of a large shopping center is a form of development. Any developmental activity has some side effects, and should not be opposed for the simple reason that those side effects are undesirable. On the other hand, measures should be taken to avoid or minimize those undesirable side effects, by careful planning and precaution. I feel that such a developmental activity should be supported and encouraged because the net effect will be beneficial to the locatity and the people who live there. Such a venture has many beifits which inclyde mainy an improvement in the availibility of various products in the area and a rise in the property value in that locality.

 

The most important benefit the people of the locality will derive from such a venture is the improved availability of certain products. They would no longer be required to travel long distances to purchase those products. Thus, time and money as well as energy of the consumers is conserved.

 

Another benefit of such construction is that it initiates a series of developments in that area. Since such a large shopping center attracts and equally large number of customers, other business people may be prompted to open their own stores in that locality. Thus, there will be an increase in availability of various kinds of products. Competetive pricing also ensures that more and more commodities are available to the customers at the lowest possible prices.

 

This development brings about a change in the nature of the neighbourhood. A small locality witha relatively few number of inhabitants may be turned into a busy city center, which in turn attracts more and more people to live thare. this may be beneficial to those who own land or property in that area, in the form of increased property value and demand.

 

However, there might also be some undesirable side effects due to such a development, which may include increased traffic, noise, pollution and taxes in that locality.

 

On the whole, I feel that such a construction is desirable despite the minor disadvantages, and so should be welcomed by all.

 

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TOPIC #25:

 

It has recently been announced that a large shopping center may be built in your neighborhood. Do you support or oppose this plan? Why? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

 

ESSAY:

 

Construction of a large shopping center is a form of development. Any developmental activity has some side effects, and should not be opposed for the simple reason that those side effects are undesirable. On the other hand, measures should be taken to avoid or minimize those undesirable side effects, by careful planning and precaution. I feel that such a developmental activity should be supported and encouraged because the net effect will be beneficial to the locatity and the people who live there. Such a venture has many beifits which inclyde mainy an improvement in the availibility of various products in the area and a rise in the property value in that locality.

Again, try to make sure that you restate the topic completely. Also, be sure to name your community. Giving the name of the city, your country, and perhaps its location in your country would give the reader a vivid image to hold in her mind.

The most important benefit the people of the locality will derive from such a venture is the improved availability of certain products. They would no longer be required to travel long distances to purchase those products. Thus, time and money as well as energy of the consumers is conserved.

 

Again, I want to hear some information about the location of your community--is it a capital, a small town, a suburb, far from the city, etc. Providing this information will make your essay more convincing (and easier to write, too!!!)

 

Another benefit of such construction is that it initiates a series of developments in that area. Since such a large shopping center attracts and equally large number of customers, other business people may be prompted to open their own stores in that locality. Thus, there will be an increase in availability of various kinds of products. Competetive pricing also ensures that more and more commodities are available to the customers at the lowest possible prices.

Your writing is excellent. Your essay so far follows a pattern I see quite frequently--when people have to write about something familiar (famous person from your country, one thing to represent your country, a custom from your country that you wish others followed, etc.), people tend to write much more persuasively. When the topic is more nebulous (are games important? are quick decisions always wrong? is plastic evil? (just kidding on that last one!!))

 

At this point in your essay, Raghuveer, I starting to think that you might have misunderstood the topic--you seem to be writing more about ALL neighborhoods, not specifically YOUR neighborhood.

 

Let's see how it continues...

This development brings about a change in the nature of the neighbourhood. A small locality witha relatively few number of inhabitants may be turned into a busy city center, which in turn attracts more and more people to live thare. this may be beneficial to those who own land or property in that area, in the form of increased property value and demand.

Oops! [:o)] Your essay is veering off-topic.

However, there might also be some undesirable side effects due to such a development, which may include increased traffic, noise, pollution and taxes in that locality.

Are you running out of time??? Your essay is "unbalanced"--heavily developed at the beginning, much less so at the end.

On the whole, I feel that such a construction is desirable despite the minor disadvantages, and so should be welcomed by all.

This essay started off very strong, but went off topic and looks as if you ran out of time (caused by a lack of planning).

 

Because of the uneven development and the apparent misinterpretation of the topic, this essay would probably get a 5.0. [xx(]

 

Try again, Raghuveer. Please. I'll give your posts priority throughout the day, okay???? I know you're a perfectionist, and despise failure. I know a part of you will rise up with determination to get this essay stuff down.

 

And I won't be happy knowing that you feel dejected. Here's what to do:

 

Try making a quick outline of what you are going to write about. In class here, we do timed exercises making a simple outline. Try to write three sentences, each of which will be the main idea (or topic sentence) of one paragraph. That way, you can get all of your ideas first, and make sure that your essay doesn't go off-topic. And make sure that you leave two minutes or so at the end to proofread your essay.

 

Erin

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  • 8 months later...

 

can anyone rate this essay?[heartbeat]

 

I do not oppose building a new shopping center in my neighborhood. I consider that, it will have a good impact on the economic environment and it will be in many ways more convenient for the people who live nearby it.

 

Firstly, a new shopping center will generate an economic boost in the entire neighborhood. I live in suburbs, and because here are few stores, and the distance to the city is long, the store managers increase the product prices whenever they like, without further notice and consideration towards our pockets. I think that this new center will have a good potential and will help balancing this disloyal price politics of the store management in my neighborhood. In addition, I think that this new shopping center will provide new jobs for the people around here, which is a good thing since the entire population of the area has suffered a great deal during the last several years because of the recession.

 

Secondly, the new center will provide easier access to a diversity of products and will save us a lot of time when we intend to go shopping. A big shopping center always has a wide range of products from food to cloth and electronic equipment all in one place. Therefore, when we shop in a center like this, we find everything we might want to by at a good quality-price rate, and in consequence there will be no need to spend time, going from one store to another, never mind the money for the car's fuel.

 

To sum up, I do not oppose the plan of a new shopping center. For the moment, I fail to see the disadvantages of such a plan; therefore, I encourage it, because I consider that a new shopping center will have a good impact on the economic environment and in the people's lives in general.

 

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I do not oppose building a new shopping center in my neighborhood. I consider that, it will have a good impact on the economic environment and it will be in many ways more convenient for the people who live nearby ==> near (to) it.

As a suggestion, I think that "live near (to) a shopping center" is more native than "live nearby a shopping center".

How do you think about "nearby" and "near"?

A big shopping center always has a wide range of products from food to cloth ==> clothes and electronic equipment all in one place.

cloth and clothes are slightly different in meaning

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Originally posted by An Min

 

I do not oppose building a new shopping center in my neighborhood. I consider that, it will have a good impact on the economic environment and it will be in many ways more convenient for the people who live nearby ==> near (to) it.

As a suggestion, I think that "live near (to) a shopping center" is more native than "live nearby a shopping center".

How do you think about "nearby" and "near"?

A big shopping center always has a wide range of products from food to cloth ==> clothes and electronic equipment all in one place.

cloth and clothes are slightly different in meaning

 

They sound both ok to me...near to it and nearby..I do not know which is more native..honestly... what did you mean by different in meaning..clothes is the plural of cloth...you've meant something else?

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They sound both ok to me...near to it and nearby..I do not know which is more native..honestly... what did you mean by different in meaning..clothes is the plural of cloth...you've meant something else?

 

In my dictionary, cloth means material of clothes, otherwise, clothes means suits, dresses, uniform etc..

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  • 7 months later...

Topic #25:

 

It has recently been announced that a large shopping center may be built in your neighborhood. Do you support or oppose this plan? Why? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

 

People sometimes talk about the effects when a large shopping center enters in their neighborhood. While some people oppose it, I personally have the opinion that it is beneficial to my neighborhood in that it provides dwellers with more chances to buy commodities at lower cost and produces a good effect on developing my community.

 

First of all, a large shopping center can provide dwellers with more commidities at the lower price. It is true that the prices of commodities are lower and lower when a large amount of commodities are purchased. A large shopping center buys generally a huge amount of commodities at the lower cost, which enables them to provide us with it at the lower price. For example, my hometown had many large shopping centers, where I can buy anythings at the lower price. In this manner, a large shopping center with their methods of purchasing commodities enables people to buy many commodities at the lower price.

 

Second of all, it provides the near area with the more chances to be developed. Many people who work at the large shopping center need a house, amenities. Their needs would make its neighborhood more convenient and better. For example, my hometown shows this obviously when comparing before a large shopping center and after it. In this manner, the needs of people who working at a large shopping center contribute to the development of a its own neighborhood.

 

In conclusion, if a large shopping center is planning to enter my neighborhood, I support the idea because it enables people to buy commodities at the lower cost and my hometown would be more developed. I think that the only drawback of it is its complexity but this drawback is sufficiently faded when considering its benefits to community.

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Hi Ditoman!

This essay as your others seems to be of good formatting :D. The only thing is that you add a new idea in the conclusion:

 

Originally posted by ditoman

...I think that the only drawback of it is its complexity but this drawback is sufficiently faded when considering its benefits to community.

 

You haven't written anything about drawbacks in the essay, so it's a little bit strange to see it the conclusion. And I don't understand what you mean by complexity of large shopping centers and why it's a drawback :shy:.

 

In the first body prgh you use a word 'low' and 'lower' too many times. It's almost in every sentence.

 

Originally posted by ditoman

First of all, a large shopping center can provide dwellers with more commidities at the lower price. It is true that the prices of commodities are lower and lower when a large amount of commodities are purchased. A large shopping center buys generally a huge amount of commodities at the lower cost, which enables them to provide us with it at the lower price. For example, my hometown had many large shopping centers, where I can buy anythings at the lower price. In this manner, a large shopping center with their methods of purchasing commodities enables people to buy many commodities at the lower price.

 

It would be better if you could try to avoid repetition. Thus, in your example of this prgh, you could say that appearance of large shopping centres in your hometown helped you to economize enormously on buying products.

 

I think it looks better when there are more specific details in examples. Otherwise it seems that you give it, just because you are forced to give an example, but not to prove your opinion. It will be better if you say how your town has changed. So it will be more clear why it is good for your neighborhood.

 

Originally posted by ditoman

 

Second of all, it provides the near area with the more chances to be developed. Many people who work at the large shopping center need a house, amenities. Their needs would make its neighborhood more convenient and better. For example, my hometown shows this obviously when comparing before a large shopping center and after it. In this manner, the needs of people who working at a large shopping center contribute to the development of a its own neighborhood.

 

 

Good luck!

Sveta

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Originally posted by Sveta

 

Hi Ditoman!

This essay as your others seems to be of good formatting :D. The only thing is that you add a new idea in the conclusion:

 

Originally posted by ditoman

...I think that the only drawback of it is its complexity but this drawback is sufficiently faded when considering its benefits to community.

 

You haven't written anything about drawbacks in the essay, so it's a little bit strange to see it the conclusion. And I don't understand what you mean by complexity of large shopping centers and why it's a drawback :shy:.

 

In the first body prgh you use a word 'low' and 'lower' too many times. It's almost in every sentence.

 

Originally posted by ditoman

First of all, a large shopping center can provide dwellers with more commidities at the lower price. It is true that the prices of commodities are lower and lower when a large amount of commodities are purchased. A large shopping center buys generally a huge amount of commodities at the lower cost, which enables them to provide us with it at the lower price. For example, my hometown had many large shopping centers, where I can buy anythings at the lower price. In this manner, a large shopping center with their methods of purchasing commodities enables people to buy many commodities at the lower price.

 

It would be better if you could try to avoid repetition. Thus, in your example of this prgh, you could say that appearance of large shopping centres in your hometown helped you to economize enormously on buying products.

 

I think it looks better when there are more specific details in examples. Otherwise it seems that you give it, just because you are forced to give an example, but not to prove your opinion. It will be better if you say how your town has changed. So it will be more clear why it is good for your neighborhood.

 

Originally posted by ditoman

 

Second of all, it provides the near area with the more chances to be developed. Many people who work at the large shopping center need a house, amenities. Their needs would make its neighborhood more convenient and better. For example, my hometown shows this obviously when comparing before a large shopping center and after it. In this manner, the needs of people who working at a large shopping center contribute to the development of a its own neighborhood.

 

 

Good luck!

Sveta

 

Thanks a lot.

 

I totally agree with your opinion in my essay.

 

Examples must be specific.

 

Repetions must be paraphrased.

 

Other idea is not required in the last paragraph.

 

But in the last paragraph, when I complete the paragraph, it seems too short. So, I want to add some sentence. This makes the essay a bit strange.

 

Once more, thanks a lot!

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