kaveri Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement ? People should sometimes do things that they do not enjoy doing . Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. So many people accept so many things to do. Even though they really do not enjoy doing .So I do support the assertion that people sometimes should have to do things that they do not enjoy doing. I could give couple of reasons to support the statement like diabetic patients poke their fingers to check blood sugar level , i used to do more work than i want when I was working in a big company and I am not eating most of the deserts, because the deserts are best source for high carbohydrates which is not good for health despite my interest in deserts. `First of all, Diabetic patients poke their fingers to check blood sugar level, in spite of their interest. For example my grandma has to poke her fingers every day to check her blood sugar levels to control her diabetes. Even though she doesn’t like to hurt her finger with needle .So people has to do some things, despite their personal interest. Secondly, when i was working in a multinational company in my country, my boss used to assign a lot of work to complete in very limited time, like within a week. Where we can not complete that much work in a week. It was very hard and frustrating to me to complete such a huge amount of work in less time. In spite of my interest i used to finish up my assigned work in time, since i need some work experience from a multinational company to get the job in other companies. Finally, I could tell my personal experience, that i never like to skip desert after dinner in parties. But i have to avoid eating sweets as sweets are high in carbohydrates and not good for people who are diabetic and even for people whose parents are diabetic too. So i am avoiding deserts even though I like sweets. In conclusion, Diabetic patients poke their fingers to check blood sugar level ,I used to do more work than I like and I have been avoiding deserts against my interest. So oftentimes people have to do some things instead of their desire. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samarfadl Posted December 16, 2008 Share Posted December 16, 2008 hi kaveri:) here are some comments on your essay. words in pink should be omitted, words in red should be added and my comments are in blue. So many people accept so many things to do. Even though they really do not enjoy doing them. (these two sentences should be one sentence and need reorganizing: i.e. So many people accept doing some things even though they really don't enjoy doing them). So I do support the assertion that people sometimes should have to do things that they do not enjoy doing. I could give couple of reasons examples to support the this statement. In the first example, like diabetic patients poke their fingers to check blood sugar level. A second example is that i I used to do more work than i want when I was working in a big company and my third example is that I am not eating most of the deserts, because the deserts are best source for high carbohydrates which is not good for health despite my interest in deserts.(the last two sentences need reorganization; the problem is that you are talking about many subjects at the same time. You are talking about diabetic people and about your job in a company and you are talking about your reluctant of having deserts because they are harmful all at the same time. You need to focus and organize your ideas). First of all, Diabetic patients poke their fingers to check blood sugar level, in spite of their interest. For example, my grandma has to poke her fingers every day to check her blood sugar levels to control her diabetes. Even though she doesn’t like to hurt her finger with a needle. ( these two sentences should be one sentence, you can't start a sentence with the word "even though" i.e. this sentence should be: For example, my grandma has to poke her finger every day to check her blood sugar level to control her diabetes even though she doesn’t like to hurt her finger with a needle). So, people has have to do some things, despite their personal interest. Secondly, when i I was working in a multinational company in my country, my boss used to assign a lot of work to complete in a very limited time, like within a week. Where we can not complete that much work in a week.(again, you can't start the sentence with the word "where") It was very hard and frustrating to me to complete such a huge amount of work in less time. In spite of my interest i I used to finish up my assigned work in time, since i I need some work experience from a multinational company to get the job in other companies. Finally, I could tell my by personal experience, that i I never like to skip desert after dinner in parties. But i I have to avoid eating sweets as sweets are high in rich with carbohydrates and are not good for people who are diabetic and even for people whose parents are diabetic too.(it would be better to generalize the sentence instead of talking about specific people i.e. say that food which is rich with carbohydrates is harmful to people and can cause diseases such as diabetes or obesity.) So i I am avoiding deserts even though I like sweets. In conclusion, Diabetic patients poke their fingers to check blood sugar level, I used to do more work than I like and I have been avoiding deserts against my interest. So, oftentimes people have to do some things instead of their desire. Your essay needs to be reorganized; you need to work on the sentence structure. Another important point is that you didn't mention specific REASONS for your opinion. You only gave examples, but in fact you must give some REASONS to support your essay. You need to state why people have to do some things they don't like to do and what are the consequences of ignoring doing these things. Hope that you don't mind my comments. see you soon kaveri :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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