The first TOEFL essay in my life! :)

[Yana]

:o

Question:

Compare and contrast your way of life with that of your parents. Which way of life do you think would be more satisfying to future generations?

 

Use reasons and specific examples to support your opinion.

 

 

Your Answer:

It is the rule of life that the way of every next generation differs. As well as the way of life of every person is unique. Of course, parents influence on their children's way. Many of them try to make their kids to live the same way that they do. I can not compare my and my parent's ways of life completely, because their lives were much more longer than mine. But even young years of my and their lives have some differences.

 

Both of my parents as a majority of people studied at usual schools. During their childhood they did not think about their future professions. But for me they chose a special school. I new what my profession is when I was 6 years old, That was the main difference between our ways of life. I can not say what way was better. They had a normal games and did not have problems. My studiing was difficult and I did not have time for anything else, but I had my profession -- music.

 

After school my mother moved to a big city to continue her education the way she chose by herself. I entered the Academy of music because it was only one way for me. All the steps my parents made in their life were their own decisions. I love my profession, but I did not choose my way.

 

I have not my own family and children. So, I can not compare this part of mine and my parent's lives. But I think a lot about the way to bring up my children and I try to choose the right things from the way my parents brought me and my sister up. There will be a lot of differences because my children will grow up in the another country. I will try to find out what way would be best for my children, but I will give them freedom to go their own lives. I think that the next generation will build their own world, but I do not know, if it will be better than our's. :o

[Erin]

Hi Yana,

 

This is a nice essay, but it's not on an official TOEFL essay topic. I strongly recommend that you practice your essays using ONLY official TOEFL essay topics.

 

I can estimate that this essay would receive about a 4.0, but again, it's harder to say since it's not an official TOEFL essay topic.

 

Your essay has good ideas, but I think it goes off-topic--you talk a lot about "history;" i.e., you do more story-telling than explaining your ideas about this topic.

 

From your writing, I'd say you should be able to do well on your TOEFL essay, you just need to practice a bit! :)