emremulazim2 Posted May 14, 2004 Share Posted May 14, 2004 it is my first essay. I am open all critics. Topic ID 125 In some countries, people are no longer allowed to smoke in many public places and office buildings. Do you think this a good rule or bad rule? Use specific reasons and details to support your position. Topic ID 125 Recent years in some countries, people are no longer allowed to smoke in many public places and office buildings. These people are damaging both themselves and the people who are not smoking near them. And also this limitation can also refrain these people's addicts. If I take this situations into consideration, I approve the prohibition of smoking in public. The people smoking in public threats not only their healths but also the healths of people who are existing closer them. Smokers have 80% risk of having cancer whereas the passive smokers, which means non-smokers being found close to smokers, have 40% risk of having cancer. And also, altough I don't smoke, after being found in smoking areas, I always get hesitated from them. Secondly I can say that the confinement of the smoking places may decrease the people's smoking addicts. My father smokes very frequently. Whatever we try to do something to help him quit smoking, we can not get succesfull. But, due to awareness of high money penalty for smoking in these type public areas, he strive to exist there in order not to smoke. And at least he cannot smoke in some places. To sum up with, in order not to threat the other people's health, I found it good idea not to let smoke in public and office buildings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ditoman Posted May 16, 2004 Share Posted May 16, 2004 Originally posted by emremulazim2 it is my first essay. I am open all critics. Topic ID 125 In some countries, people are no longer allowed to smoke in many public places and office buildings. Do you think this a good rule or bad rule? Use specific reasons and details to support your position. Topic ID 125 Recent years in some countries, people are no longer allowed to smoke in many public places and office buildings. These people are damaging both themselves and the people who are not smoking near them. And also this limitation can also refrain these people's addicts. If I take this situations into consideration, I approve the prohibition of smoking in public. The people smoking in public threats not only their healths but also the healths of people who are existing closer them. Smokers have 80% risk of having cancer whereas the passive smokers, which means non-smokers being found close to smokers, have 40% risk of having cancer. And also, altough I don't smoke, after being found in smoking areas, I always get hesitated from them. Secondly I can say that the confinement of the smoking places may decrease the people's smoking addicts. My father smokes very frequently. Whatever we try to do something to help him quit smoking, we can not get succesfull. But, due to awareness of high money penalty for smoking in these type public areas, he strive to exist there in order not to smoke. And at least he cannot smoke in some places. To sum up with, in order not to threat the other people's health, I found it good idea not to let smoke in public and office buildings. Your essay is very good. I think your essay will receive at least more than 4.0. However, your essay has several drawbacks that undermine your score besides the grammar mistakes. Of course, it up to you whether you receive my advide or not. 1. The conclusion doesnt sumarize the overall essay. 2. Transition word of the second paragraph is not used. Appropriate transition word makes your essay better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emremulazim2 Posted May 17, 2004 Author Share Posted May 17, 2004 thank you, I will take notice of your advise. And would you write my grammer errors please? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ditoman Posted May 20, 2004 Share Posted May 20, 2004 Originally posted by emremulazim2 it is my first essay. I am open all critics. Topic ID 125 In some countries, people are no longer allowed to smoke in many public places and office buildings. Do you think this a good rule or bad rule? Use specific reasons and details to support your position. Topic ID 125 Recent years in some countries, people are no longer allowed to smoke in many public places and office buildings. These people are damaging both themselves and the people who are not smoking near them. And also this limitation can also refrain these people's addicts. If I take this situations into consideration, I approve the prohibition of smoking in public. The people smoking in public threatens not only their healths but also the healths of people who exist close tothem. Smokers have 80% risk of having cancer whereas the passive smokers, which means non-smokers being found close to smokers, have 40% risk of having cancer. And also, altough I don't smoke, after being found in smoking areas, I always get hesitated from them. Secondly I can say that the confinement of the smoking places may decrease the people's smoking addicts. My father smokes very frequently. Whatever we try to do something to help him quit smoking, we can not get succesfull. But, due to awareness of high money penalty for smoking in this type public areas, he strives to exist there in order not to smoke. And at least he cannot smoke in some places. To sum up with, in order not to threaten the other people's healths, I found it good idea not to let smoke in public and office buildings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ditoman Posted May 21, 2004 Share Posted May 21, 2004 #154. In some countries, people are no longer allowed to smoke in many public places and office buildings. Do you think this a good rule or bad rule? Use specific reasons and details to support your position. My country, Korea, like many other countries increasingly adopts the policies that discourage the smoking. These include the increased taxes on tabacco and the ban in public places. With regard to this obvious issue that most people agree, I also have the positive opinion in that the ban improves the public health, discourages the smoking, and increases the work productivity. More than anything else, the no-smoking in public places and office buildings improve the public health. When smoking, one damages the innocent people as well as himself who are around regardless of his or her wil. We can usually watch on many TV programs that show many damage of a second-hand smoking. One of them that I watched a few days ago was the housewife who has a lung cancer because of his heavy smoker husband. In this manner, the ban improves the health of many non-smokers. Secondly, it helps the smokers who want to quit smoking. At least, the ban prevents one from smoking in public places. For example, my friend is used to be heavy smoker and has always wanted to quit smoking, but his lack of resoluteness interrupts his wish. When his company bans smoking in the office as one of the methods to improve employee's healths, he can finally come true his dream. In this manner, the bans can help the many people who wish to quit smoking but have the lack will. Finally, it also improves the work productivity. The smoker should stop his works for a moment to smoke. Although one of these interruptions is very short-term, the sum of them is huge. In addition, to work hardly again, the smokers require another time. In conclusion, although I believe that the smoking is the right of adults, the right does not mean that the smokers have the right to damage other people. In addition, the ban helps the smokers who wish to quit smoking and improves the work productivity. For the reasons mentioned above, I strongly agree. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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