I'm not a teacher, but perhaps some of my ideas are useful for you:
- In your introduction, try to express the topic in a different formulation.
- I think, sometimes you have mixed up the conditional and past tenses . Did you want to imagine the possibility of living in a big city/small town or to write about your experiences?
- At first view, your conclusion looks a little bit short. Was it your intention? Perhaps add a second sentences and summarize your essay!
But your essay has a good structure and you use a broad vocabulary, more than I would be able to.