CoopaTroopa Posted August 5, 2004 Share Posted August 5, 2004 Hi there, this is my first essay and I´d be very glad if somebody would tell me his opinion about it! I just have a few days to go, so this is really urgent. :tup: THX!! Oliver Choose one of the following means of transport and explain, why it has changed peoples lifes: -automobiles -bicycles -airplanes Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. When Charles Lindbergh crossed the Atlantic ocean for the first time, people in Paris welcomed him like a hero. But nobody knew at this time, that Lindbergh made the first step towards a new and fascinating means of transport, which was going to change people´s lifes all around the planet in an incredible way. Just a few decades later, flying is one of the most normal things, if you want to travel long distances. When we go back a hundred years, travelling to far destinations and getting in touch with other cultures was something that normal people could only dream about. People had to spend much time on travelling as they had to take ships to cross the oceans and that also costed a lot of money. Today cheap flight tickets or packaged journeys to far countries make it possible for a larger group of people to experience the world. In my opinion, the airplane is not only a means of transport. It gains the understanding for other cultures and it has a big effect on cultural exchange throughout the world. Further, taking a plane makes it easier to work, study or just do a short internship in countries that are far away from home. That also supports the idea of intercultural exchange. But travelling by plane is not only about learning about other cultures. Business travellers appreciate the plane as a fast and convinient means of transport without which, they wouldn´t be able to do bussines with companies in other countries in such an easy way. Last but not least, the airplane improved postal services and logistics a lot. Wether you want to send a christmas parcel to your friends or relatives in overseas, or you buy goods in an internet auction. Things can be delivered quickly and that also helps our world to grow together. Even if some people are scared of flying, since they have heared of terrible plane accidents that occur from time to time – Statistics say, that flying is one of the safest means of transports and it has improved our lifes a lot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CoopaTroopa Posted August 6, 2004 Author Share Posted August 6, 2004 Hello Erin! Pleeeeease score my essay!!!:) :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vaya Posted August 7, 2004 Share Posted August 7, 2004 Hi! Your biggest problem (and the only?) is the structure. This is how a typical TOEFL essay should look: Introduction: 1-2 general sentences about the topic and 1 sentence where you list 3 (ussualy 3, but can be 2 or 4) main ideas of your essay. Body: every main idea must have a separate paragraph where you develop that idea. First comes the topic sentence where you present the idea. Then you give examples and other support. A body paragraph is ended by mini conclusion - restate topic sentence. Conclusion: you repeat main ideas. Look here: http://www.www.urch.com/forums/showthread.php?t=436 Feel free to ask anything. Don't be afraid to look stupid :) HTH! Renata Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CoopaTroopa Posted August 7, 2004 Author Share Posted August 7, 2004 Hi Renate, thanks a lot for your reply. I didn´t know there´s a structure I need to stick to! Oliver Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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