#005: A company has announced that it wishes to

[Erin]

A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your community. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory? Explain your position.

[erdtek]

I've just writen it. Please, any comments are helpful ! :o

 

 

---------------------------

 

Few are the factories in my state. Many people prefer to be built one more, but its erection would have not only posotive, but also negative effects on our community such as pollution. However, I strongly believe the construction of a mill would bring us higher level of employment and therefore I fully support this idea.

 

One of the main factors for the pollution of the environment are the factories. My neat city would grieve about a building of a factory. Here, children and adults love to go for a walk in the neighboring park and relax on the cosy bench breathing the fresh air from the evergreens. Moreover, our city is one of the most unpolluted cities in the country. Thus, a new mill would definitely contaminate the life of most of the inhabitants.

 

The building of a factory would cause more jobs available. The residents of our city lead miserable life. The poor people poke their feeble hands in the street baskets. Others have an inadequate income and often they cannot secure the food they need. Besides, graduates cannot found work, just because here is not available and for that reason the unemplyment rate is one of the lowest in the country. The factory, however, would provide a lot of jobs, because it would need of not only qualified people, but also workmen. In this way, many residents would have the opportunity for normal life. Therefore, I strongly agree on erecting a mile near our community.

 

We can mainly benefit from a new factory. Though it would pollute our city it would provide many jobs we really require. Employment is an immense problem in our state, so the government try to found ways to remedy the present situation.

 

---------------------------

[Vaya]

Hello!

 

You wrote a nice essay, erdtek. Nice ideas and essay organization. The only thing I can critisize is that you sometimes use difficult structure of a sentence and sometimes make a mistake. You use some word and I doubt about them if you really can you them (for example, grieve). And I somehow don't like such sentenses as: One of the main factors for the pollution of the environment are the factories (are -> is). I believe that you wanted to impress us by your english knowledge. Your english is really good, neddless to say, but don't try too much. Write as you can, don't try to be better. Toefl indicates if you can express your ideas fluently, not if you can write a graduation dissertation. Be natural. ;)

 

There also some mistypings and grammar mistakes (for example, neighboring park).

Overall, I would give you 5.5 and I know for sure that you are worth 6.5 :D

 

HTH! Renata

[erdtek]

Originally posted by Vaya

 

Hello!

 

You wrote a nice essay, erdtek. Nice ideas and essay organization. Your english is really good, neddless to say, but don't try too much. Write as you can, don't try to be better. Toefl indicates if you can express your ideas fluently, not if you can write a graduation dissertation. Be natural. ;)

 

Overall, I would give you 5.5 and I know for sure that you are worth 6.5 :D

 

HTH! Renata

 

Wow, I've never heard so nice words ! Thanx :D

 

Originally posted by Vaya

I believe that you wanted to impress us by your english knowledge.

 

In no way, I used the dictionary to be more self-confident.

 

Originally posted by Vaya

The only thing I can critisize is that you sometimes use difficult structure of a sentence and sometimes make a mistake. You use some word and I doubt about them if you really can you them (for example, grieve). And I somehow don't like such sentenses as: One of the main factors for the pollution of the environment are the factories (are -> is).

 

There also some mistypings and grammar mistakes (for example, neighboring park).

 

I did not ckeck my essay for errors, I write it, post it in a hurry and then went out.

Yes this sentence sounds a bit awkward.

However, I cannot find what is wrong with 'neighboring park'. ?[xx(]

 

Anyway, thank you for your comment :)

[Vaya]

It should be neighbourhood park, shouln't it?;)

Renata

[Nata]

Hi!

 

Could you please check my essay too?

 

Thanks in advance.

 

-----------------------------------------------------

 

A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your community.

Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community.

Do you support or oppose the factory? Explain your position.

 

---------------------------------------------------------------

 

If some company decide to build a factory near the place where I live, I would be strongly against it.

The best thing about my current neiborhood is that it's quait and clean place.

I think that even now, when factories try to do an effort to prevent a polution, byproducts of many technologies still

be present in atmosfere, especially around factory.

In addition to that, my community would become noisy and crowded with people.

 

 

My main consern would be about polutions. Nowdays we have enougth information to understand that polution is very bad for

envirenent and our helf. Effects could be immediate or appear in the time. I understand that not all pollutants are

dangerouse, but some programm on TV and reports in newspapers about pulutants and their effects make you be precotiose. Even

if fabric has good protection, exidents could happen.

 

Besides, I value quite neiborhood a lot. I's important for our family to relax after long day and don't be

desturbed by noise. In case of factory noise from it would be a problem. In addition, people would pass through

neiborhood which is not going to help to keep it to be quaite too.

 

 

To sum up, I think that factory would create a negative enviroment not only for me, but expecially for my

1 year old son, and I think that it's very important that his childhood will

be spend in good enviremental conditions. That's why we choose appartment in secluded area and factory

near this place will spoil all advantiges of this place.

[Vaya]

Hello Nata!

 

If a company decides to build a factory near the place I live, I would be strongly against it. The best thing about my current neighbourhood is that it's quiet and clean place. I think that even now, when factories try to prevent pollution, in many cases byproducts(?) still cantaminate the atmosfere, especially near the factory. In addition to that, my community would become noisy and crowded.

 

 

My main concern would be about pollutants. Nowadays we have enough information to understand that pollution is very bad for

environment and ourselves. Effects can appear immediately or in the long run. I understand that not all pollutants are dangerous, but some shows on TV and reports in newspapers about pullutants and their effects make you be precautios. Even if the factory has good protection, it is very likely that some incidents will happen sooner or latter.

 

Besides, I value the quiet neighbourhood a lot. It's important for our family to relax after a long day and not to be disturbed by noise. In case of factory a noise problem would appear. In addition, people would pass through the neighborhood and it is not going to help to keep it quiet and peaceful.

 

 

To sum up, I think that a factory would create a negative environment for me and especially for my 1 year old son, and I think that it's very important that his childhood would be spend in the best environmental conditions. That's why we chose an appartment in the secluded area and a nearby factory would spoil all advantages of this place.

 

I edited your essay. I don't guarantee you that I corrected all mistakes, but please see what mistakes you made. You made lots of mistypings and spelling mistakes. If you don't understand why I corrected something please don't be shy and ask. I'll be glad to help you.

Your essay is quite nice and neat, a bit too short with a bit to long intro :). And one more thing - I don't like that you talked about your son onlt in the conclusion. I believe it's a very good supporting idea so it should have been in the 2nd body para. But well, that's my idea.

 

Keep practising. Try to improve your spelling and grammar. All the best! Renata

[ashalatha]

A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your community. discuss the advantages and didadvantages of this new influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory.

 

 

Build a new factory near our community is both a welcoming feature and also a has a disadvantage to our community in long run. Building a factory near a big community like us provides a good economical improvement. Constructing a factory will provide us with lot of employment oppurtunities. people who go for long distances for doing jobs can shift their jobs to this new factory. There will be lot of development for public transportation and also there will be improvement in road conditions. poeple can enjoy public transport to many locations. There will be ease to go to many locations without any difficulty in public transport. There will be improvement for water supply and electric supply because by constructing new factory they will go for new water pipelines and improved electricity. Thus by constructing new factory near our community will provide lot of additional facilities and improvement in economical conditions also. People can enjoy new restaruants and canteens that will sprand up near our comminity and also they will be lot of supermarkets coming near by.

 

But there are also many disadvantages if a factory is constructed near our comminity. Now being a well calm and cool place with lot of people enjoying pecacefula nd unpolluted atmosphere with nice weather conditions, can all be distrubed with this nnew factory. If this factory is not well organized or maintained, there will be lot of pollutants coming out of the factory and contaminating water and also air.If the factory is not well build with standard rules will provide poor road conditions and eleactricity and will cause health hazrds to the people working there and also to the poeple nearby. Building a factory near our community will distrube quiet and calm neighbourhood park nearby. children will get affected by this by not able to enjoy peaceful and unpolluted atmosphere. with the build of new factory there will be lot of people migrating from other places for the look out of jobs and our comminity pollution will get increaed and there by the praent atmosphere will definetely be changed.

 

Looking further , there will always be both advantages and disadvantages for every work that will be done. In my opinion for future improvement and advancemnet in technology and also for the progress and development of any community it is always good to go for newer developments with but with safe rules that should not affcet peoples living conditions and health conditions. In my opinion factories shouls be build in places alloated to them and not interfere in land alloted purely to residential purposes.govenment should allot places for every purpose and residential ares should not be inferes from public buildings.

 

[ashalatha]

Some people believe that university students should be required to attend classes. Others believe that going to classes should be optional for students. Which point of view do you agree with? Use specific reasons and details to explain your answer.

 

 

In this fast developing world, students are the most important persons for making development and progress to any nation. In any mans life, youth is the most important part of life. Teenage is the most important and crucial part of anyones life. In that Students life plays vital role in any mans performance in near future. In view of the rapid progress going on in the world there are many Universities that have sprang up for any number of students to make their career.

 

In my opinion , University should strictly pass on a rule that all the students ongoing their studies in heir university should compulsorily attend classes. If students attend classes in the university, they will start developing good habits and better personality development. Students will be able to attain good discipline by attending classes on regular basis and they will be able to set their gole in life toi acheive something and make them selves worthwhile. they will inculcate good reading habits and dvelop interest in life. They can interact with teachers and their co students. They can have discussions with teachers and can further improve their knowledge. By interacting different knids of people in university they can develop communication among people and they can try themselves to understand other people by mutually devloping coperation among themselves. This will defenetely help them when they end up their student life and enter into their job life. By regularly attending university and classes students can set their path in correct direction and make themselves know what is required to improve their carrer path. Carrer path once set during student life will make them progress and acheive great goals in their life time.

 

On the other hand , goverment is alloting lot of money to education part. On the other hand many universities are providing free education to many students by providing asistant ships and scholarships. Goverment is working hard to help all the students to have their education. If there is no hard and fast rule of attending classes,many students take education very easily and they makethemselves busy by going to mivies and having fun for themselves by attending parties, going to discos, and spending most of their time in playing , chit chatting or moving around. This way they will be wasting lot of their preacious time and also they are wasting lot of resouces. Lot of money will also be get wasted. THere will be noone seen in libraries and doing any research work.If students do not have right path, they waste all their precious time and by the time they realise it will be all over without landing in good and respectable job.

 

If once university provides strict rules on students by attending classes, they will puntually attend classes and slowly strat developing it as a habit and they can start living their own life by giving importance to time. Moreover on the other hand, universities should see that students should not attend classes only for attendance sake and to attain their degree. Teachers should also inculcate good habits in students by always having mutual healthy discussions among themselves and also between students.

 

when once students realise the value of education, they set their carrer in right path and tries to achieve greater goals. When studnets makes progreess in themselves, nation will also progress and therby the world will also get progreesed with newer inventions and newer technological dvelopments.Students are the life of the nation. They should not be neglected and also they should not negelct time and themselves by making themselves diverted to unwanted things. They should set their goal for education and also for other recreational habits. when universities provide sports facilities also, that will help students to relax themselves by having fun by playing their favourie games and making themselves active.

 

Hence in my opinion when students are strictly made to attend classes, they can themselves come up into very young, dynamic and active persons to move up with

[Millosh]

#005: A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your community. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory? Explain your position.

 

A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near my small community. It has its advantages and disadvantages.

For me the most important advantage of a factory is employing the workers. Thanks to that, life standard of the citizens could be raised.

If that factory produced products, used in lives of members of the community, they could have cheaper products to buy. There are no transport and other expenses.

Also, the community could get an extra profit from people who visit the company.

 

The biggest disadvantage might be the pollution. But, it depends on what the factory produced and the way it produced it. If it was a factory of cellulose, for example, it will pollute environment a lot. And if it was a factory of household machines, there will be no serious pollution.

For those people who want their community to remain small and clean, disadvantage might be a possible expansion of the community. That could happen if the factory produced modern or important ware for not only that community, but also for a bigger territory. Through the expansion come immigrants, too. Some people don't like that idea.

 

My opinion is that building a factory is a good idea. If a community had resources and good position… why not? There are certain disadvantages, but I think that the advantages are stronger. And for big deeds, you need some sacrifices.

 

 

Please rate my essay, thanks.

 

[sneogi]

Hi everybody.

Comments are welcome

 

A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your community. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory Explain your position.

 

 

If a company wishes to build up a large factory near our community then I shall definitely dissent with their interest.

Building up a factory in the area would spoil its beauty ,create pollutions and debilitate the elysian charm of the area.

On the first place with the construction of a large factory the air will be polluted. Starting from the arrival of the building materials to the gases emanating from the factory the air will be fraughted with pollutants of all kinds. aThe byproducts and waste products released by the factory would bring about a corrosive effect to the atmosphere in the region ,thereby , leading to numerous diseases . The chemical products released by the factory would besmirch all the water bodies in the area which will result into several water borne diseases, skin diseases and above all lung diseases. There will also be an increase in the number of transports in the area because of the factory . Living in a metro city and with the car pollution increasing everyday I dont think there is no necessity of an added bane-a factory.

Secondly, the sounds of the alarms and huge machines working in the factory would create excessive noise pollution.The sanctity of my community would be lost. We built our house in the area to get rid of the hustle and bustle of the city life and to get to enjoy the fruits of mother Nature. With the bulding of a factory the purpose of living in a secluded region would totally be lost. After the hectic schedule returning home is a cherished happening and after the factory is established there would not be any difference in living here or in the heart of the city.

Moreover , with mammoth vehicles carrying goods to anf from the factory the condition of the road would detoriate severely .There would also be a increase in the number of inhabitants due to the emplyees shifting in our area.

Last and the most important reason is the degeneration in the health condition of the people. The chemicals ,gases , waste and byproducts o fthe factory would mitigate the inhabitants here. The children present here would be the biggest sufferer - they donot have enough immunity nor enough strength to fight against the pollutants -they would definitely get emaciated. There would be a advent of multifarous diseases-some even unknown.

Keeping all the factors in mind, the prospects that the factory has with itself like better water supply. electric supply are exiguous. There might be a improvement in the employment condition of the people out here but for a cause of such surity and more fortuitous we cannot condone the difficulties that remain before us.

So in a era where being able to see a patch of green brings delight , where the air is overcrowded with the black smoke , where there is no pure chemical free air or water building another factory would ameliorate the pollution and lead to several diseases.

[iuli]

A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your community. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory? Explain your position.

 

In my opinion, there are one major advantage and one major disadvantage in building a new factory near my town. The first will be the fact that constructing a new factory leads to economic development and reduces unemployment and the second one will be the devastating effects of pollution that comes with putting up the factory. I will agree building a new factory near my hometown only if the managers respect pollution policies, and clearly, because any good investment should be sustained.

 

I oppose the construction of a factory if the pollution’s level is higher than the accepted standards. Nearby my hometown, a huge factory is doing tremendous harm by air polluting the entire region. Due to the enormous quantities of sulphur dioxide, chlorofluorocarbons compounds, ammonia, soot and fumes in general, released in the air, there have been reports of increasingly lung diseases among people that live in three towns around the factory. If someone wants to build a new factory nearby my hometown, it will not have my approval until I know for sure, that extremely rigorous measures to reduce all kind of pollution have been taken.

 

I do not think that I should discourage anyone that wants to invest in this region, considering the huge breakthrough that this will probably mean to the economic environment. I live in an economically poor developed area of my country, where the unemployment level seems to get higher and higher everyday, because many of the existent factories, due to poor management and some other factors, go bankrupt.

 

In conclusion, the pollution is one big impediment, but as long as is kept under control, I do not find any huge disadvantage in building a new factory. Clearly, by considering the economic development too, I think I am for the construction of a new factory nearby my hometown.

[ccll11]

A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your community. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory? Explain your position.

 

In this question, I oppose the plan for this company to establish the big company near our community.

 

Firstly,after the establishment of the new factory,the pollution will be the most dangerious problem from that.That include the air pollution,the noise, the water pollution and so on.That will degrade our health greatly,it is so bad to us so that we will not allow this plan to be execute.

 

Secondly,after the building the new factory,many and many people will come here to find the job opportunity,there are many and many people will come here to make the business. The people's concentration will lead to the bad social security,so that our safty condition will be decreased.

 

Thirdly,after the building of this factory,with more and more business in our community,and more and more people's concentration,the consume standard will go up rapidly,that will cause the commodity's price go up accordingly.That will also affect our life greatly.

 

To sum up,we should not allow this new factory to be built near our community,it will damage our environment ,that will harm our health greatly.At the same time,the new industy also will make the living price go up, that will degrade our living standard too.

[iuli]

Originally posted by ccll11

 

A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your community. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory? Explain your position.

 

In this questionI think you forced a little bit, I oppose the plan for this company to establish the big company near our community. there is redundancy og the "company" word , I think that this entire sentence is builded wrong

 

Firstly,after the establishment of the new factory,the pollution will be the most dangerious dangerous problem resulting from that.That includes the air pollution,the noise, the water pollution and so on.That how about using"therefore" because it will degrade our health greatly,we must not allow this plan to be executedit is so bad to us so that we will not allow this plan to be execute.

 

Secondly,after the building the new factory,many and many people will come here to find the job opportunity a job or because here are job opportunities,there are many and many people will come here to make the business. The people's concentration will lead to the a bad social security,soand because of that our saftysafety condition will be decreaseddecreasing.

 

Thirdly,after the building of this factory,with more and more business in our community,and more and more people's concentration,the consume standard will go up raiserapidly,that will cause the commodity's price go up accordingly.That will also affect our life greatly.

 

To sum up,we should not allow this new factory to be built near our community,it will damage our environment ,that will harm our health greatly.At the same time,the new industy also will make the living price go up, that will degrade our living standard too.

do not use "more and more"try using an expression if you want to emphasize something, you are making some grammar mistakes and you need to improve your vocabulary..just my 2 cents..I hope that I helped you a little bit:)

[MoizManji]

Hello everyone

 

This is my 2nd essay to TestMagic (and the second essay i've written after a long time).

 

I would really appreciate if you guys could give comments and if possible an estimate ETS score on this essay.

 

I'll b giving my TOEFL on 11th of this month!

 

 

#005: Do you support building a factory in your hometown?

 

No thing on earth could be one-hundred percent beneficial for people; each will have its set of advantages and disadvantages. I live in Gujranwala, a small town just 20km outside Lahore, Pakistan and I believe building a factory over here would be beneficial for the citizens of Gujranwala and the city itself.

 

The major advantage to the people when the factory would be built is that utility services including electricity, gas and water would be improved by the local government. Currently, there is no incentive and less money for local government to improve such facility as there are no industries and most people go to Lahore for employment.

 

Secondly, the people of the town will also benefit by building of new roads for transferring of raw-material and finished goods to and from the city. This would mean easier access to other cities.

 

Thirdly, this would even open up sources of employment. Currently, most people go to Lahore for employment as there are no major industries over there. When a new factory will be built, the local residents could easily get a job over here and thus save their valuable time.

 

Fourthly, this would provide an incentive for other industries to locate here also and take the benefit of tax holiday provided for the government. With this, Gujranwala could also contribute to the success of our nation. Also, with more industries, the population would increase in Gujranwala and, other people instead of going to Lahore or Karachi could come here for employment. This would reduce the burden on other major cities and, even bring highly educated professional people to the city.

 

Another major advantage to the city would be that with more people specially in the middle-upper class, the service industry will also prosper. New banks will open providing financing facilities, new schools and colleges will open providing education and, new recreational facilities will also open which Gujranwala currently lacks.

 

Therefore, we say that although there may be some disadvantages such as pollution, increase in population etc. the advantage are more and are definitely be outweighed by the disadvantage which do not hold true in this modern world.

 

[Roma600]

Hi All!

This is my 1. try, to your attention. Waiting for your evaluations.

 

A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your community. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory? Explain your position.

 

I agree with the idea, that building new factory in our locality will bring benefits to our community. I live in developing country with growing endustry and high rate of unemployment. Main bussiness of people of our country is trade, and there is high amount of products exported from outside.

 

New factory opened near our district will help people to get job and to earn money for living. Job given by the factory for those who are unemployed or trying to get money from selling fruits and vegetables means very much. People start to work and earn money, they will stop worrying about their children and make plans about future.

 

On the other hand the factory may negatively affect our environment. If chemical wastes are not properly utilized, not only animals and plantsmay be harmed, also our children playing in the street can be poisoned by the harmful wastes from the factory.

 

To sum up, advantages of building new factory near us overcome the disadvantages that it will bring. Especially new factory will be usefull for people of our country which need new places for employment. I will support this idea with two my hands, if decision of building factory is made.

 

[karimo]

Originally posted by MoizManji

 

Hello everyone

 

This is my 2nd essay to TestMagic (and the second essay i've written after a long time).

 

I would really appreciate if you guys could give comments and if possible an estimate ETS score on this essay.

 

I'll b giving my TOEFL on 11th of this month!

 

 

#005: Do you support building a factory in your hometown?

 

No thing on earth could be one-hundred percent beneficial for people; each will have its set of advantages and disadvantages. I live in Gujranwala, a small town just 20km outside Lahore, Pakistan and I believe building a factory over here would be beneficial for the citizens of Gujranwala and the city itself.

 

The major advantage to the people when the factory would be built is that utility services including electricity, gas and water would be improved by the local government. Currently, there is no incentive and less money for local government to improve such facility as there are no industries and most people go to Lahore for employment.

 

Secondly, the people of the town will also benefit by building of new roads for transferring of raw-material and finished goods to and from the city. This would mean easier access to other cities.

 

Thirdly, this would even open up sources of employment. Currently, most people go to Lahore for employment as there are no major industries over there. When a new factory will be built, the local residents could easily get a job over here and thus save their valuable time.

 

Fourthly, this would provide an incentive for other industries to locate here also and take the benefit of tax holiday provided for the government. With this, Gujranwala could also contribute to the success of our nation. Also, with more industries, the population would increase in Gujranwala and, other people instead of going to Lahore or Karachi could come here for employment. This would reduce the burden on other major cities and, even bring highly educated professional people to the city.

 

Another major advantage to the city would be that with more people specially in the middle-upper class, the service industry will also prosper. New banks will open providing financing facilities, new schools and colleges will open providing education and, new recreational facilities will also open which Gujranwala currently lacks.

 

Therefore, we say that although there may be some disadvantages such as pollution, increase in population etc. the advantage are more and are definitely be outweighed by the disadvantage which do not hold true in this modern world.

 

 

Hi there, you will most probably get a 6 for this (but I am just guessing). Your paragraphs are a bit short, try to combine some of them, also avoid the list-like appearance conveyed by the words firstly, secondly, etc.. Your very last sentence is screwed.

[Achiever]

Hello Erin,

Please rate this first essay of mine and give your opinion.

 

Originally posted by Erin Billy

 

A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your community. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory? Explain your position.

 

 

Whenever a factory is about to be built in a community, there will be positive and negative opinions from people in the community. Personally, I support building the factory because I think that this new influence will help in improving the econmic and social condition of people in our community, in providing jobs to many unemployed people and in providing may valuable commercial products to our community.

 

My community is one of the growing economic centers in the city. The establishment of a factory could help improve the economic condition further. There will be more investors and shareholders willing to invest in our community. This will lead to the development of our community as a commercial center. Moreover, the social status of people is bound to increase with this influence. The city authorities may

provide better amenities like water, etc. to cater to the needs of these factories.

 

This will in turn benefit the people of our community. A factory is an obvious source of employment to a large number of people. In our community, there are many intelligent youngsters raring to work and to show off their talents. The factory can be the right place for their interests. The problem of unemployment would decrease in our community and the development of the factory can infact help eradicate this problem. A factory is also likely to be the manufacturing center for a lot of commercial products that can be very useful for our people.

 

We all know that every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Building a factory too, has its own negative aspects that makes many people reject the proposal outright. The main reasons for this opposition is the environmental pollution that results from factory processes. These processes eliminate wastes into air and water, affecting animals and humans alike. Several industrial accidents and deaths have known to occur and have served to increase public opposition. Besides, factories are constructed over large acres of land and may require deforestation of cultivable land and evacuation of human settlements. These are valid reasons for opposing the factory.

 

However, when we access the overall advantages against the disadvantages, a factory must definitely be a boon to our community. Whether it becomes a bane lies in our hands and I think our community people are wise enough to prevent this from happening. We shall follow measures to make these factories refrain from polluting environment and from endangering arable and inhabitable areas, so that we cherish this new influence on our community.

[ari]

My position on the building of a factory would depend on the influence that it would have on my community. I would weigh the advantages and disadvantages of the new construction coming up and then form an opinion. I shall explain these in detail in the following paragraphs.

 

First and foremost I would like to know what kind of a factory would it be? Would it create environmental pollution – air, water or noise? What would the final product of the factory be and would the processes involved in producing them be hazardous in certain conditions. If the answer to any of these questions is in the affirmative I shall oppose the issue.

 

However, some companies prove to be very good neighbors. They take utmost care not to cause any discomfort to the nearby residents. In fact some even go to the lengths of developing the areas around them with the big budgets that they have. The company’s previous reputation would have to be taken into regard before deciding upon this.

 

Moreover, the area not far from my community is teeming with slums. The factory could provide the slum people with employment and they would be less inclined to rob our property. Besides, many outsiders to the town would be required to move in as employees of the factory. We could then have ample renters in our community, this would give a boost to the economic condition.

 

Finally, I would say that as long as the factory is not hazardous to the community, I would support it.

 

[TM Staff]

Originally posted by ari

 

My position on the building of a factory would depend on the influence that it would have on my community. I would weigh the advantages and disadvantages of the new construction coming up and then form an opinion. I shall explain these in detail in the following paragraphs.

 

First and foremost I would like to know what kind of a factory would it be? Would it create environmental pollution – air, water or noise? What would the final product of the factory be and would the processes involved in producing them be hazardous in certain conditions. If the answer to any of these questions is in the affirmative I shall oppose the issue.

 

However, some companies prove to be very good neighbors. They take utmost care not to cause any discomfort to the nearby residents. In fact some even go to the lengths of developing the areas around them with the big budgets that they have. The company’s previous reputation would have to be taken into regard before deciding upon this.

 

Moreover, the area not far from my community is teeming with slums. The factory could provide the slum people with employment and they would be less inclined to rob our property. Besides, many outsiders to the town would be required to move in as employees of the factory. We could then have ample renters in our community, this would give a boost to the economic condition.

 

Finally, I would say that as long as the factory is not hazardous to the community, I would support it.

 

 

Hi, Ari.

 

I think you've made a good first attempt here, but the biggest problem I see in this essay is that your point of view is not made clear to the reader until the last line. By saying "Finally, I would say that as long as the factory is not hazardous to the community, I would support it." you have said, at the end, what the reader needs to see at the beginning of your essay.

 

By moving this information to the first paragraph and using it as part of your thesis statement (along with your supporting points) you will also be able to make the bulk of the essay clearer. As it is, it is hard to read the body of your work as three main points that relate to each other under one idea. Rather, they read as various examples loosely related to one another under the subject of "building a factory in my neighborhood".

 

Work on clarifying these examples. State your opinion in your thesis. Include your main points.

 

I hope these suggestions will be of help to you.

 

Best of luck,

 

TM Staff

 

[TM Staff]

Originally posted by Achiever

 

Whenever a factory is about to be built in a community, there will be positive and negative opinions from people in the community. Personally, I support building the factory because I think that this new influence will help in improving the econmic and social condition of people in our community, in providing jobs to many unemployed people and in providing may valuable commercial products to our community.

 

My community is one of the growing economic centers in the city. The establishment of a factory could help improve the economic condition further. There will be more investors and shareholders willing to invest in our community. This will lead to the development of our community as a commercial center. Moreover, the social status of people is bound to increase with this influence. The city authorities may

provide better amenities like water, etc. to cater to the needs of these factories.

 

This will in turn benefit the people of our community. A factory is an obvious source of employment to a large number of people. In our community, there are many intelligent youngsters raring to work and to show off their talents. The factory can be the right place for their interests. The problem of unemployment would decrease in our community and the development of the factory can infact help eradicate this problem. A factory is also likely to be the manufacturing center for a lot of commercial products that can be very useful for our people.

 

We all know that every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Building a factory too, has its own negative aspects that makes many people reject the proposal outright. The main reasons for this opposition is the environmental pollution that results from factory processes. These processes eliminate wastes into air and water, affecting animals and humans alike. Several industrial accidents and deaths have known to occur and have served to increase public opposition. Besides, factories are constructed over large acres of land and may require deforestation of cultivable land and evacuation of human settlements. These are valid reasons for opposing the factory.

 

However, when we access the overall advantages against the disadvantages, a factory must definitely be a boon to our community. Whether it becomes a bane lies in our hands and I think our community people are wise enough to prevent this from happening. We shall follow measures to make these factories refrain from polluting environment and from endangering arable and inhabitable areas, so that we cherish this new influence on our community.

 

Hi, Achiever.

 

The essay you've written is quite a successful attempt. The introduction and body, in particular, present your point of view clearly and support it thoroughly with distinct main points.

 

The first point could be made even clearer, however, by separating it into two points (economic advantages AND improved social conditions). There aren't enough examples at this point in your essay to support the second idea.

 

Also, the line, "The city authorities may provide better ammenities like water, etc..." seems out of place here--belonging to neither of the points stated above.

 

I like that you do discuss both the advantages and disadvantages, since that is what the question asks of you. Yet at the same time, you make it very clear where you stand on the issue. Very good.

 

The only negative I can point out to you is that, for as strong as your essay is, the conclusion tends to become somewhat blurred, or in other words, loses the focus. Rather than concluding with any further discussion of the disadvantages, I suggest you restate and stress again the advantages--drive your point home.

 

I hope these suggestions will be of help to you.

 

Best of luck,

 

TM Staff

[ari]

thanks for your advice TM Staff,

i would keep it in mind in future.

poor organization has always been a problem.

i'll do something about it,

thanks again,

ari

 

[Achiever]

Originally posted by TM Staff

 

Originally posted by Achiever

 

Whenever a factory is about to be built in a community, there will be positive and negative opinions from people in the community. Personally, I support building the factory because I think that this new influence will help in improving the econmic and social condition of people in our community, in providing jobs to many unemployed people and in providing may valuable commercial products to our community.

 

My community is one of the growing economic centers in the city. The establishment of a factory could help improve the economic condition further. There will be more investors and shareholders willing to invest in our community. This will lead to the development of our community as a commercial center. Moreover, the social status of people is bound to increase with this influence. The city authorities may

provide better amenities like water, etc. to cater to the needs of these factories.

 

This will in turn benefit the people of our community. A factory is an obvious source of employment to a large number of people. In our community, there are many intelligent youngsters raring to work and to show off their talents. The factory can be the right place for their interests. The problem of unemployment would decrease in our community and the development of the factory can infact help eradicate this problem. A factory is also likely to be the manufacturing center for a lot of commercial products that can be very useful for our people.

 

We all know that every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Building a factory too, has its own negative aspects that makes many people reject the proposal outright. The main reasons for this opposition is the environmental pollution that results from factory processes. These processes eliminate wastes into air and water, affecting animals and humans alike. Several industrial accidents and deaths have known to occur and have served to increase public opposition. Besides, factories are constructed over large acres of land and may require deforestation of cultivable land and evacuation of human settlements. These are valid reasons for opposing the factory.

 

However, when we access the overall advantages against the disadvantages, a factory must definitely be a boon to our community. Whether it becomes a bane lies in our hands and I think our community people are wise enough to prevent this from happening. We shall follow measures to make these factories refrain from polluting environment and from endangering arable and inhabitable areas, so that we cherish this new influence on our community.

 

Hi, Achiever.

 

The essay you've written is quite a successful attempt. The introduction and body, in particular, present your point of view clearly and support it thoroughly with distinct main points.

 

The first point could be made even clearer, however, by separating it into two points (economic advantages AND improved social conditions). There aren't enough examples at this point in your essay to support the second idea.

 

Also, the line, "The city authorities may provide better ammenities like water, etc..." seems out of place here--belonging to neither of the points stated above.

 

I like that you do discuss both the advantages and disadvantages, since that is what the question asks of you. Yet at the same time, you make it very clear where you stand on the issue. Very good.

 

The only negative I can point out to you is that, for as strong as your essay is, the conclusion tends to become somewhat blurred, or in other words, loses the focus. Rather than concluding with any further discussion of the disadvantages, I suggest you restate and stress again the advantages--drive your point home.

 

I hope these suggestions will be of help to you.

 

Best of luck,

 

TM Staff

 

Hello TM Staff,

 

Thank you very much for your suggestions. They will be definitely helpful to me. I have a few doubts in your comments that I request you to clarify. I am not able to understand what you mean by "There aren't enough examples at this point in your essay to support the second idea. ". The strategy that I am following is to think of three main points of the stand I am going to take on the essay statement (agree or disagree sort of topics) and then expand each of them into three more points in three paragraphs, followed by a conclusion. What do you think of this method? Is it ok or do you suggest any other better way? Based on this method, I was trying to mention employment chances as second main point. I think what you have meant is that I should mention economic advantages and improved social conditions as two separate points and then probably include employment possibilities as part of first one. Is this what you have meant? Regarding the point about amenities like water etc., I mentioned that to give example of mutual social benefits that our community would gain as a result of the factory. Do you think that the sentence must not have been included there? If so, can you give me some suggestions on what I could have added there?

 

Regarding the conclusion, I was trying to re-emphasize the importance of factory by saying that its proper use lies in the hands of our community people. But I too feel that simply restating the main points could have been the better choice. I am pretty sure that with your suggestions, I will be able to correct these problems next time. Can you give an estimated score for this essay? Thank you once again for your efforts.

Achiever.

 

[Achiever]

Originally posted by TM Staff

 

Originally posted by Achiever

 

Whenever a factory is about to be built in a community, there will be positive and negative opinions from people in the community. Personally, I support building the factory because I think that this new influence will help in improving the econmic and social condition of people in our community, in providing jobs to many unemployed people and in providing may valuable commercial products to our community.

 

My community is one of the growing economic centers in the city. The establishment of a factory could help improve the economic condition further. There will be more investors and shareholders willing to invest in our community. This will lead to the development of our community as a commercial center. Moreover, the social status of people is bound to increase with this influence. The city authorities may

provide better amenities like water, etc. to cater to the needs of these factories.

 

This will in turn benefit the people of our community. A factory is an obvious source of employment to a large number of people. In our community, there are many intelligent youngsters raring to work and to show off their talents. The factory can be the right place for their interests. The problem of unemployment would decrease in our community and the development of the factory can infact help eradicate this problem. A factory is also likely to be the manufacturing center for a lot of commercial products that can be very useful for our people.

 

We all know that every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Building a factory too, has its own negative aspects that makes many people reject the proposal outright. The main reasons for this opposition is the environmental pollution that results from factory processes. These processes eliminate wastes into air and water, affecting animals and humans alike. Several industrial accidents and deaths have known to occur and have served to increase public opposition. Besides, factories are constructed over large acres of land and may require deforestation of cultivable land and evacuation of human settlements. These are valid reasons for opposing the factory.

 

However, when we access the overall advantages against the disadvantages, a factory must definitely be a boon to our community. Whether it becomes a bane lies in our hands and I think our community people are wise enough to prevent this from happening. We shall follow measures to make these factories refrain from polluting environment and from endangering arable and inhabitable areas, so that we cherish this new influence on our community.

 

Hi, Achiever.

 

The essay you've written is quite a successful attempt. The introduction and body, in particular, present your point of view clearly and support it thoroughly with distinct main points.

 

The first point could be made even clearer, however, by separating it into two points (economic advantages AND improved social conditions). There aren't enough examples at this point in your essay to support the second idea.

 

Also, the line, "The city authorities may provide better ammenities like water, etc..." seems out of place here--belonging to neither of the points stated above.

 

I like that you do discuss both the advantages and disadvantages, since that is what the question asks of you. Yet at the same time, you make it very clear where you stand on the issue. Very good.

 

The only negative I can point out to you is that, for as strong as your essay is, the conclusion tends to become somewhat blurred, or in other words, loses the focus. Rather than concluding with any further discussion of the disadvantages, I suggest you restate and stress again the advantages--drive your point home.

 

I hope these suggestions will be of help to you.

 

Best of luck,

 

TM Staff

 

Hello TM Staff,

 

Thank you very much for your suggestions. They will be definitely helpful to me. I have a few doubts in your comments that I request you to clarify. I am not able to understand what you mean by "There aren't enough examples at this point in your essay to support the second idea. ". The strategy that I am following is to think of three main points of the stand I am going to take on the essay statement (agree or disagree sort of topics) and then expand each of them into three more points in three paragraphs, followed by a conclusion. What do you think of this method? Is it ok or do you suggest any other better way? Based on this method, I was trying to mention employment chances as second main point. I think what you have meant is that I should mention economic advantages and improved social conditions as two separate points and then probably include employment possibilities as part of first one. Is this what you have meant? Regarding the point about amenities like water etc., I mentioned that to give example of mutual social benefits that our community would gain as a result of the factory. Do you think that the sentence must not have been included there? If so, can you give me some suggestions on what I could have added there?

 

Regarding the conclusion, I was trying to re-emphasize the importance of factory by saying that its proper use lies in the hands of our community people. But I too feel that simply restating the main points could have been the better choice. I am pretty sure that with your suggestions, I will be able to correct these problems next time. Can you give an estimated score for this essay? Thank you once again for your efforts.

Achiever.

 

[nitesh]

hi all,

somebody please review my essay. I am eager to know wht score I might receive on this one. its my 1st TOEFL essay, took me exactly 30 minutes to write it down.

TOEFL on 1st OCTOBER.

 

 

 

005.A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your community. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory? Explain your position.

 

 

A company has announced that it is interested in setting up a large factory near our community. This proposed development is coupled with both advantages as well as disadvantages for our community.

 

One of the most beneficial aspect of this establishment could be more jobs for people of our community. Since the factory would be situated near to our community, it might prefer to look for its required manpower within the community. This way, all the suitably qualified members of our community could benefit significantly.

 

Moreover, the setting up of this factory might pave the way for more of such developments near us. For example, other companies with the same line of business as this company, might also be attracted in setting up their respective factories here. This could be because they might not want to miss out on any advantages that this company has gained by setting up its unit here.

 

But just like every coin has two faces, this development could also bring along itself certain serious disadvantages with it. One of the most serious problem that might be faced is that of pollution. The products of the company might require such manufacturing process that gives out air and noise pollution as the by-products.

 

The setting up of this factory would lead to investments in our area. The increased flow of money might lead to an unwelcome increase in the crime rate. This is because criminals might be tempted towards the surge in financial prowess of the community.

 

Having evaluated both the pros and cons of the upcoming development I would like to support this development, even though it has certain disadvantages associated with it. The reson for my stand is the significant advantages that could quite likely follow this development. More jobs to the people, more investment in the area would mean availability of more funds with the local authorities for the development of the community and several others as analysed above.

 

Thus, in my opinion the announcement of setting up a factory near our community is an advantageous development and with potential of bringing significant prosperity to our commumity.