lordelf0072004 Posted June 26, 2010 Share Posted June 26, 2010 Hii everyone! I'm going take toefl Test next month, this is one of my written assay. I need to get more experiences in Toefl essay... Would you please correct my essay?:) Any comment and suggestion are welcome, thanks in advance! Do you agree with this: Technology has made children less creative? These days, reflecting of the development of science, technology has breakthrough changes to yield people a life more convenient. Nevertheless, there are still many disputable concerns whether technologies bring to human being, especially our children deleterious effects. More specifically, some parents are worried that technology is the factor deteriorating their children’s creation. For me, I totally disagree with this point of view for some reasons. First of all, technologies are tools of which children can take full advantage to invent something more conducive. Elaborated technologies are the achievement of many researches in particular science. By approaching these technologies, children may inherit these results to create much more useful products. In this situation, I think the case of Bill Gate is the most obvious evidence. He had a chance to approach computers which are a state of the art technology in the period when he was student in high school. Definitely, these computers are beneficial tools helping him fulfill his obstacle accomplishment in software industry. Secondly, getting acquainted with latest technologies inspires children discovering in science subjects in school. Every technologies always has root in basic science. Hence, being attracted by technologies lead to interminable motivation to study particular science in children. After graduation, when some children can master in their study, they can extent it to invent new products, solutions to serve human being‘s demands. For example, my nephews are always interested in modern toys relating to space technologies as satellites, air-planes. According to them, these toys in their childhood inspire them to pursue universal discipline when they grow up. In conclusion, parents have their own opinions in various affects of technologies. Every coin always has two faces. Some people dispute that it is the same in case of influences of technology. However, I personally think that technologies motivate children’s creation rather than trap it. They are fundamental tools as well as eternal inspiration helps children fulfill their creative dreams. -------------------------------------------------- Word count: 320 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manikmcj Posted July 24, 2010 Share Posted July 24, 2010 Really its a very good essay. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ashaa Posted July 26, 2010 Share Posted July 26, 2010 Great one ,keep on posting similar essays . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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