are my ideas ok ???

[Vaya]

Hello!

Why are Renata and Erin only replying to messages. Where is everyone else ????????

Don't you like your company?

essay no 58 Buisness should do anything they can to make profits> Use specific reasons and examples to support thy opinion

Best way I think would have been to support both sides here. But since this is TOEFL and not GRE I guess we have to support one opinion

It's possible to support both sides on TOEFL. But it's risky and requires perfect English skills along with perfect understanding of the essay structure. This could be a challenge for those who feel that traditional (one-sided) essay is just for kids...

Agree: only profitable organizations survive; profitable organizations pay huge taxes which may be used to maintain a good level of welfare; profitable organizations can invest money into tecnological progress; profitable organizations provide peole with work and paycheques; profitable organizations can support non-profit organization which help poor and starving people or pretect the environment.
Disagree: seeking profit at any cost promotes eploitation of workers (long hours, little wage); this promotes cheaper, but environmently un-friendly technology; this promotes illegal actions; this promotes life style where the only virtue is money; this brings severe advertisement compaigns which try to affect subconsciousness of the consumers so the become addicted.

95 whether government should spend money on exploring outer space or on basic needs of people

Basic needs: space exploration brings no profit, it just "eats" money; we shouldn't look for water in Mars, we should look for it for those who lacks water for basic daily needs on the Earth; how can we dream about houses on the Moon if not everybody has a shelter here; goverments main role is to asure that every citizen has normal living condditions.

need for school or traditional class
proper environment of education where everyone can study
meet differnet people and make friends
special attention from trained teachers
students learn discipline , >> punctuality and assingments(homework)

then need for teachers (why better than studying on own
motivates and challenges students with homework and assignments
trained and experienced , usually knows where students find difficulty
counselling regarding future >>carreer options ??)

Perfect! What other ideas do you need?

HTH! Renata

[minud]

The plants are very important to us and they fulfill our various needs. Besides providing us with the precious oxygen gas , it also provide us with food, resins, gums, wood, paper, natural chemicals etc . They are many plants which are important to my country like rice, wheat, maize, sandal, mustard etc . But personally, I believe, that wheat is the most important plant to both me and my country. There are many reasons for my this preference.


Firstly, Wheat is the main staple diet of my country .This plant not only has a low fat content but is also a rich source of complex carbohydrates and proteins. Being the main ingredient of food, every Indian consumes wheat and its products atleast twice a day. I, myself, consume atleast 4 chapatis, the flat cakes made from wheat flour, in a day . My body system has got so used to the complex carbohydrates provided by this plant that I feel hungry without its intake, even if I have consumed more than enough calories from other food sources. So its very important part of my daily diet.


Secondly, There is one surprising but a very true contribution of wheat to India's education system . In 1960's, for purpose of increasing the wheat yields, government started numerous research centers all across the country to find new and efficient seeds of wheat. These centers later grew up to become the big agriculture universities. One such university known as Punjab Agricultural University, now acts as major research institute in not only agriculture but also in the various fields of science.


Thirdly, India is the second largest producer of wheat and it exports the large quantities of wheat to other countries. This helps it to earn foreign exchange which provides the huge impetus to India's agrarian economy. Moreover, the large wheat production and the huge international wheat markets have made India's farmer more financially strong and secure.


Lastly, Wheat cultivation and its harvesting has a very important role in our culture. All our folktales, folkdances, sayings and traditional customs are directly related to this plant. For instance, our folk dance, Bhangra, has much to do with wheat harvesting. All the movements and motions of Bhangra imitate the various steps of wheat harvesting. The dance itself is performed to mark the ripening of wheat .


To sum up, I believe that wheat is the most important plant of my country . It is not only main diet of my country and feeds the millions of my fellow countrymen, but our culture also revolves around it. Moreover our economy and education have been able made much progess thanks to this plant.

[minud]

Labas Rentata!!!!!!

So how did u sleep last night???
Thanks for retyping the points. As u can see I am right on working on my essays like a crazy. I need atleast 5 on my TOEFL and more on this I don't have time to retake TOEFL. So have to get 5 in my first attempt. So its tension tension all the way. What I am doing at the moment is to collect all the ideas so that I am not blank that day. My main problem is not getting 3 reasons. But I am working on it. You have allready solved my problems in few essays.
Next, I took thy advice and I have finally decided to write my essay. Also, I am more comfortable with writing with a pen.
I wrote above essay a while ago. Took me 40 minutes to type and it has words more than 400 words. I guess if I write, it will take me less than 20 minutes.


Have a blasting day.

Seeya
GoodNight
Minu

[Vaya]

Labas!

Your essay you submited is astonishing! 6.0 or 5.5 is guaranteed. Just few notices: not "lastly", but "last but not least reason..."; and there should be no "moreover" in the conclusion; there are some punctuation mistakes (but you are improving!); don't capitalize words after "firstly," or "secondly,".

Next, I took thy advice and I have finally decided to write my essay.

Hope it is the right decision...

Have a blasting day.

Actually, it really was.

HTH! Renata

[Erin]

Renata, check it out:

Quick tip: there should be "Edit" button on the bottom of your own messages.

Click it and you can edit your post. There will be no need to post another reply.

I did that with the WYSIWYG editor. Just select (highlight) and paste. Works a charm!

[minud]

Thank you Rentata for thy giving me a generous score. Guess day I wrote essay I was feeling bit inspired. Also, it was an easy topic.

But I am working on others. I was using "moreover" everytime there were 2 points. Now I will make sure that I don't add it in conclusion.

see ya
buhbye

[minud]

Hey I am back. Its evening time here. I was just going to eat my dinner that I thought I should share my thoughts on some essays. Been thinking about some since morn


097 Teacher's pay should depend upon how successfully their students learn.

1Teacher is one who motivates students hence somehwhat responsible for his or her student's success
2 Gives teacher incentive to improve his teaching technique and his weaknesses
since this would make him financially insecure hence bonuses should be paid according to performance than total salary

I can easily add 3rd point that bonus acc to performance is morally right and increases confidence of teacher who works hard. He doesn't feel that his hard work is neglected. ( I really didn't liked this one, but I didn't had any other good point )




153 Zoo serves no practical purpose. Do you agree or disagree??

Agree : 1 We humans are morally responsible for saving of these creatures as it is our activities which have destroyed their habitats

2 Can generate money through tourism . Centers of popular attraction where parents take their kids for educational purpose; people go because they add richness to their lives.

3 ????



082 Adverstising reveals much about a country. Do you agree with opinion or not ??

What I got from this essay was that I can give examples from many countries and not necessarily abt one country rt ???

1 advertising tell about technological advancement >> US advetisements more about gadgets like cell phones, automatic machines etc with special effects >>, Whereas third world countires will air advertisements which don't have any special affects , simple ads about daily needs (ok a bit exaggeration )

2 Tell us about attitude of government >> government which care more about health of people airs ads about warnings regarding smoking and alcohol ; awareness regarding AIDS and Hepatitis and Vaccination >>Government more concerned about environment will air advertisements about effects of deforestation. for eg government of my country has been airing ads to get people to use unleaded petrol. ( now thats true )

3 ??? culture ??




163 Is literacy, the ability to read and write more important now than it used to be?? Why or why not ??

1 Jobs getting more and more skill oriented. Need for workers who are literate. Everywork uses advanced technology which needs educated workers. Example even blacksmith now needs to know about latest metal working methods. He needs to be literate to work with metal melting machines. All instructions are written and lack of knowledge about the proper procedure could not only decrease efficiency but also lead to physical harm

2 Ability to read and write means that person can information from channels like books, internet, newspaper. Example literate farmer can improve his output by using latest farming techniques. This possible only if he's literate.

3 Literate person is more aware of things like hygiene, human rights, peace, pollution . He can be better judge between right and wrong.
hygiene>> age of AIDS and Hepatitis; literacy and awareness needed to check epidemics
Human rights>>> knowledge needed for surviving of democratic society
Peace>> age where nuclear weapons and hatred against minorities still exist>> see that literate person is more tolerant

Doesn't 1 and 2 reasons sound almost the same????????


171 Imagine you must be away from home for one year on travel. Besides clothing and other essential items, you can take one extra thing with you. What would that be ??


This topic I am not sure about. Does topic means that I travels to differrent places or that I just visit one place .

Anyway I came up with Laptop ???
1 can keep in touch with my family >>webcam , email
2 get information about place I am visiting >>maps , history, geography, search about hotels, restaurants
3 pay my expenses online >> transact money online




142 a gift ( such a sprts equipment, musical instrument, etc) can help child to develop . Which gift would you choose to give to child to help him develop??

same laptop

1 lot of information about all kinds of stuff
2 He can make lots of friends on net
3 increase his computer skills >> computer literacy a must in todays job market
4 use in childhood only will make him adept at using new technolgy and hence he won't hesitate in using newer technologies



170 Oragnisations and groups play an imporatant part in many people's lives. Why so many people consider groups and organisations important??

1 gives them chance to interact with like minded people and make friens with them eg Physicist student can join any physics group >> this increases their sense of belongingness and hence promotes self esteem
2 way to outlet their feelings and act upon them eg a animal rights activist will join the PETA ( people for ethical treatmet of animals) > >this gives him chance to voice his opinions about treatment metted out to these dumb creatures and at same time he can contribute to fight by participating in various campaigns and demonstrations.
3 ???


Thats all for now. Mom's calling me for dinner. Better go and eat something. Am really hungry

hope u hear from u soon
Goodnight

[StrikerPete]

Well, based on the ideas of Minud about topic 097, I tried to do an essay with oposite ideas. It got kind of philosophical, but its a try! I made it very quickly, many mistakes! Here it go!


Finding good teachers and tutors is becoming increasingly difficult nowadays. One reason for that is because the salary of these professionals is not high as it should be considering the responsability involved. But paying teachers proporcionaly to the success of his pupils is not a fair way of stimulating this professionals. Firstly because is very difficult to measure success, and secondly the teachers great part of the times teaches more than how to be successful, but life lessons that are never forgotten.

How could you compare, for example, a public school teacher with a private school one.Even if the public school teachers is much better the other, his pupils will probably not be so successful because of their parents influence, or their cultural level, since most part of students in private schools are richer than those ones in public school. In this situation the public school teacher will be in disadvantage.

And what is the most important lesson the teachers may give you? In my experience I had an excellent teacher in school who said that there's no use of being successful if you are not happy, and I agree with that. People who try to hard for success most of the time get frustrated, since only the best can achieve it, and many others who try will just not reach it. And sometimes happiness is found in simple life. And is it possible to measure happiness? In my point of view it's not, and happiness is the real success after all.

So I believe that paying more for teachers whose students are more successful is unfair, sometimes for the reason that some students are more prepared for learning than others, and also because the most important thing we should learn from this life to find happiness, and that's impossible to measure.

[minud]

Hey I had added these ideas becos I wanted someone to read them and tell if I me if I am right and give me fresh prespective of these topics, because we generally tend to begin to think in one line and forget other sides.
Anyway, let me check thy essay.

first my ideas were that teachers should be paid acc to their performance and what u are saying is that they shouldn't.
thy structuring is not rt.
Read some essays on TestMagic essay sample page to get an idea of good 6 or 5 point essay.
I believe that U should first get structure rt. U have good ideas, just put them in rt format and u all do good.

http://www.urch.com/forums/showthrea...3159#post63159

I just wrote some comments, maybe u should check them out too.

Best of luck

Minu

[Vaya]

Labas!

Sorry for the late reply.

097 Teacher's pay should depend upon how successfully their students learn.

For: in this way a teacher gets paid only for work s/he really did; those devoted teacher would get more.
Against: how to determine and compare "successfulness"; there are some students who have mental disabilities, just learn slowly or require some special attention; there is big difference between teaching bright and unapt students; learning is not only teachers responsibility, more depends on a student, how much s/he works; it's not a teacher's duty to force students to learn; it's not teachers fault that "a dog ate my homework".

BTW, your 1st idea isn't a real support.

153 Zoo serves no practical purpose. Do you agree or disagree??

I guess, You meant "Disagree", right?
1. Saves and breads endangered species
2. Children learn about animals and nature
3. A great place to spend a day together with the family
4. Study behavior of animals
5. Increase awareness about pollution, endangered species, environment protection, etc.

082 Adverstising reveals much about a country. Do you agree with opinion or not ??

What I got from this essay was that I can give examples from many countries and not necessarily abt one country rt ???

I guess from many. It's very abstract "a country". So one time you can take US, other Japan, third India. All of them are "a country".

But one thing bothers, because the first idea after reading this topic was that these advertisemnt are about that country.... But I guess I got it wrong...

3 How wealthy people are in that country. Expensive products advertised = wealthy people; cheap = poor. For example, in US there are a lot of luxurious car advertisements on TV, in my homecountry there are a lot of cheap food and groceries advertisements on TV. Also, little rates of adds = poor country (weak economy), and vice versa.
4 People way of thinking. Adds usually say "buy this and be better". So what is that "better"? Sexier? Smarter? Healthier? Richer? Cooler? Live easier? In US is just another kind of adds "just have it, it's a great deal".
5 May reveal some social problems. Like here in the US there are lots of adds about education (GED or college diplomas). In my homecountry there is no need for such adds, because more than 80% of high school graduates want to continue their studies. And there are no schools to educate all these people, so people compete with each other, not schools...

163 Is literacy, the ability to read and write more important now than it used to be?? Why or why not ??

Doesn't 1 and 2 reasons sound almost the same????????

Nop. They are perfect.

171 Imagine you must be away from home for one year on travel. Besides clothing and other essential items, you can take one extra thing with you. What would that be ??

This topic I am not sure about. Does topic means that I travels to differrent places or that I just visit one place .

I don't think that it would change anything. Well, your ideas are superb, except... if you will be on a deserted island

142 a gift ( such a sprts equipment, musical instrument, etc) can help child to develop . Which gift would you choose to give to child to help him develop??

same laptop

Again, ideas are superb. You can write a wonderful essay based on these ideas. But do you really think that a laptop is the best gift for a child? I mean, childhood is the time then you need to play outside, investigate real world, develop knowledge about nature, take sports, make REAL friends, hang out... You will be able to gain your weight in front of a computer after some years in a office from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m...

I would give a ball for a child.

170 Oragnisations and groups play an imporatant part in many people's lives. Why so many people consider groups and organisations important??

3 without organizations people feel lonely. It's one of the basics needs of a human being to belong to some kind of a group. Without it a human feels unsafe and useless. Human has to feel that somebody cares about him, that s/he is not alone in the universe...
4 organizations give a chance to do something really important, to take part in some really important events. It's a way to express oneself. For example, today I filled volunteer application for NYC 2012 olympics...

HTH! Renata