Why do some students study abroad?

[taralluccio]

Hello everybody! Last time I did TOEFL, I got a fair valuation.
After some time devoted in studying, here is an essay to evaluate... your opinion is really appreciated

Many Students choose to attend schools or universities outside their home country. Why do some students study abroad?

Studying abroad is one of the most fulfilling experience a young man can live. It exposes a student to a large set of experiences that otherwise would never been lived, and is a great way to develop personality and character. So, some students who are looking for a “fully-rounded” development from their college or school years, can decide to go study abroad.

First of all, a student who is living abroad is living far from his/her parents. This require him/her to assume, for the first time in life, several responsibilities typical of the adults. For example, he/she will manage his/her own time autonomously, and so he has to plan when to study and when to have amusement. Still, he/she has lots of things to take care of, from going to supermarket do manage his/her own budget. He/she will carry the weight of several decision on his/her own, without support from parents.

Furthermore, living abroad expose the student to a different culture. A student will be able to live and address significant differences from his/her own country, in important manner such as politics and economics, and so to develop hise\her personal judgement on these topics. But at the same time, he/she lives less evident but nevertheless important differences from his/her own country, in society organization, way of living.

Finally, the most evident advantage of studying abroad is in the chance to learn a new language. Living abroad is far the most effective way to learn a foreign language, because the student is forced to communicate with others in that language. This applies to a wide range of situations, from those more “institutionalized”, such as at school, to those more “informal”, for example while out with friends or watching tv.

A student studying abroad really enriches his experience. Students looking for a meaningful enhancement of their development can thus choose to attend a foreign institution.

[sonson2007]

Many Students choose to attend schools or universities outside their home country. Why do some students study abroad?Studying abroad is one of the most fulfilling experience a young man can live. Because It exposes a student to a large set of experiences that would never been lived before. Besides it is a great way to develop his personality and character. So, some students who are looking for a “fully-rounded” development from their college or school years can decide to go study abroad.I do not think that this last sentence is grammatically right…and u should end the introduction by stating directly thy opinion. First of all, a student who is living abroad is living far from his/her parents. This requires him/her to assume, for the first time in life, several responsibilities typical of the adults. You can say that this requires from him to take care of many responsibilities.. For example, he/she will manage his/her own time autonomously, and so he has to plan when to study and when to have amusement. Still, he/she has lots of things to take care of, from going to supermarket do manage his/her own budget. He/she will carry the weight of several decision on his/her own, without support from parents.Furthermore, living abroad expose the student to a different culture. A student will be able to live and address significant differences from his/her own country, in important manner such as politics and economics,then he can develop his own personal judjement and so to develop hise\her personal judgement on these topics. But at the same time, he/she lives less evident but nevertheless important differences from his/her own country, in society organization, way of living. Finally, the most evident advantage of studying abroad is in the chance to learn a new language. Living abroad is far the most effective way to learn a foreign language, because the student is forced to communicate with others in that language. This applies to a wide range of situations, from those more “institutionalized”, such as at school, to those more “informal”, for example while out with friends or watching tv.A student studying abroad really enriches his experience. Students looking for a meaningful enhancement of their development can thus choose to attend a foreign institution.

To give you honest advise you need to work on the structure of the sentenseces, grammer because so many sentences need to be rephrased.
The good side is you have a good vocabulary and you are using it right