please rate my essay

[weifeng0715]

103. In your opinion, what is the most important characteristic (for example, honesty, intelligence, a sense of humor) that a person can have to be successful in life? Use specific reasons and examples from your experience to explain your answer. When you write your answer, you are not limited to the examples listed in the question.



When it comes to the problem that how to achieve success, different people has different opinions. Some people argue that honesty is a necessity to be successful in life, just imagine if someone always cheats to others, then no one will believe what he says and does, he may never have any opportunity to get help from others, finally, he will fail in life. Other people believe that it is a sense of humor rather than other characteristics that plays the most important role on the way to success. From their point of view, a sense of humor will make a person in a group much easier to be accepted by others, so his suggestion is more likely to be adopted and the person will get success without much difficulty.

As is shown above, honesty, intelligence, and a sense of humor are important factors to success. However, to be successful in life, one should be diligent, that is, s/he must work hard.

For one thing, working hard can enable one to focus on the target he sets. I like to start working or study by setting up a target and then pursuing it by working hard. Sometimes, when I face difficulties, I would stop there for a long time and just keep thinking whether it is worthy of continuing, then probably, I find I will be distracted by something else and forget my target entirely . This will undoubtedly lead to failure. On the contrary, if I keep on digging, I believe I will find the solution in the end.

For another thing, working hard helps one to make a good preparation for success. The more we study, the more knowledge can we have. Take my job-hunting for an example, my major is mechanical engineering. Only if I have learned CAE (computer aided engineering) could I find a high salary and competitive job, otherwise, I would have to stay in a stable but low salary institute in mechanical field. So, just as the old Chinese saying "opportunities are for those well prepared" goes, only by working hard can we recognise and grasp chance when it ever comes.

Finally, people are willing to help industrious one. Because industrious people seem more promising than those lazy ones, people are more ready to help these industrious ones. Thus, people working hard are more inclined to get others' attention so as to succeed.

To sum up, diligent people can get more attention and help from others, prepare well enough for success, and focus on the target. Diligent people’s persist efforts will finally get paid.

[Englishraven]

Is this an actual TOEFL iBT essay question? It doesn't appear to be to me. Normally, the task asks you to choose between supporting or arguing against a particular statement or position.

Sorry to point this out... it's just that a lot of people post their essays in this forum using topics from the old CBT TOEFL format, which included a range of different topic styles. The new iBT format is much more regular and restrained to the argumentative style.

Hence, there are hundreds of essays appearing in this forum that don't even match the topic criteria of the new Internet-based test. Rating or responding to them won't do a whole lot of good (realistically), because they aren't representative of the topics that will actually appear on the test.

:-)

~ Jason