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Thread: #088: Telephones and email have made communication

  1. #11
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    Hi miwa,

    No, I did not conclude that either emails or telephones cause human communication less personal[V]. Can you point out which sentences made you think that?

    In my essay, I meant that emails and telephones make it easier for communication among people. Only the way people use them too much as a replacement for face-to-face conversation might be the cause. In other words, it is caused by the people, not by the tools.

    Cheers

    Originally posted by miwa

    Hi, diep.
    I was confused!!
    Your essay concludes email and telephones cause less human relationship.

    On grammer, the "main" should be omitted.
    it is people who abuse telephone and email as their main forms of communication, rather than these tools themselves, cause communication less personal.

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    By the way, I have some comments on your essay. Hope that helps you.

    Originally posted by miwa
    We have never before been so in-touch with the people around us. [I prefer: Never before have we been... It sounds stronger, I think.] With telephones and emails, we can contact people right away from us. No doubt they are very useful and convenient means of communication. Yet, I believe telephones and emails have dehumanized interrelation between people.

    Different from a face-to-face communication, we cannot be sensitized to non-verbel aspect of the conversation or the words through them. [Wrong grammar[V]; It means: We are different from a face-to-face communication.] Seeing the person in real life heightens our experiences by feeling their words and thoughts with all of our senses. Facial expressions, body language, and eye contact reveal a lot about people, but they are all missed when talking over a phone or email. Coversely, we could behave over them in any way as we like, chat in a plesant tone if angry at the partner, and could not tell whether the partner is talking with sarcasm or with delight.

    Just as these non-verbal aspects are important to know people, if not more so, to give expression. In talking through them, we cannot express ourselves in the way that we do when we acutually see or smell the partner, because only communication on a face-to-face basis reveals our innermost thoughts and intensions. Nor can we expect the respond of the partner. I find it essential that we can read the respond of people for an intimate relationship between people. Electronic communication leaves out the important factor of body and facial language.[This para's idea seems to be the same to the previous one???]

    Last but not least, emails or cellular phones allow us to perform as an imaginary person, even the opposite gender. This entirely conceals our true personality and makes some prefer shallow relationships to ones in our real life. Also, We are spreading ourselves so thin across the board that we don not even remember when we spoke with the particular person last. We are reaching out to touch somebody without a care in the world about who we are reaching out for or why they let us reach out to them in the first place. [Sorry, I do not understand this sentence, nor your idea in this para clearly.]

    Conclusively, though technology does make it easier to communicate and enables more people to communicate on a broader scale, I feel these forms of communication are desensitizing our relationships. Thus, I entirely agree with this statement.



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    Hi, diep.
    Acutually, I didn't understand this sentence.
    Did you mean below?
    Then, I understand what you mean in this sentence.


    it is people who abuse telephone and email using as their main forms of communication, rather than these tools themselves, cause communication less personal.

    Yet, on the whole your essay looks as if email and telephones are less personal, so you choose a face-to-face communication.

    In my essay, I meant that emails and telephones make it easier for communication among people. Only the way people use them too much as a replacement for face-to-face conversation might be the cause. In other words, it is caused by the people, not by the tools.
    Still, you mean it is the fact that email and telephones make our communication less personal, even if people use them as replacements for face-to-face conversation or the tools.
    In this question, this is the point, I think.

    Undoubtedly, the advent of telephone and the Internet has significantly improved communication among people. I disagree to accuse telephones and email of making human communication less personal. In this essay I will point out some reasons to support my opinion.

    In order to exchange their confidences in day-to-day life, most people much prefer face-to-face talking with their families and friends to just either making a call or sending an email. Using telephone as well as email is of course an essential part of many people, but most of them would gladly choose a direct dialogue with the others were they given the choice. I, for example, after a full day at work, call my parents to ask after them. Yet I manage to take every possible chance to stop by their home. I would like to see them and share with them personally everything in our daily life. For me, that routine could never be replaced by using telephone, email, or any other technology. { For you think communication over email and telephones is less personal?}

    On the other hand, the popularity of telephones and email makes it possible for impersonal communication among people. Nevertheless, it is people who abuse telephone and email as their main forms of communication, rather than these tools themselves, cause communication less personal. For example, instead of sending a private postcard to each remote friend of mine on the occasion of Christmas that takes me much time and efforts, I can now send an electronic mail or card to a group of people just in a few minutes. I still keep, however, the traditional way because I believe that each of my friends feels happier when receiving a postcard sent personally to him enclosing a wish written exclusively for him. In a word, perhaps people with very little time for anything tend to make their communication less personal, but either telephones or email is the cause.

    All in all, I do not believe that telephones and email make communication among people less personal. Most people can take these tools’ advantages while keeping their communication barely personal.
    Different from a face-to-face communication, we cannot be sensitized to non-verbel aspect of the conversation or the words through them. [Wrong grammar; It means: We are different from a face-to-face communication.]
    Yeah! it was wrong.
    Thaks.


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    Hi, psagarriga.
    I tried correcting your grammartical error.
    I don't feel in this para that communication is "essantial". To me it seems to be a logical leap though this is only my impression.

    Further, it is very easy to call by telephone or to write emails, and in the same way, it's very easy to meet new persons. On Internet you can write to many people, manymuch more than those you could call by telephone or meet during the weekend. Personally, I have the tendency to write a lot of messages during the day, and most of them are very short messages, and it happened that I sent messages composed of only one word. This shows today how the communication today is becoming essential and thus, less personal.

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    Sorry, in the massage above, there is a mistake.
    I meant:
    much more than = many more than

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    this is the first time i post my essay on here, thought I made a lot of mistakes, please help me out to correct them. welcome any comments
    thanks a bunch
    # 088 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Telephones and email have made communication between people less personal. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

    Nowadays communication is developed faster than ever. By telephone, mobile phone, fax,email……… people can contact with each other easier. However, their utility just make people close together in general not in personal. That’s why I agree with the stament that telephone and email have made communicatin between people less personanal.

    First af all people all know the utility of telephone and email. They can talk to each other whenever and wherever they want. People can do everything with telephone such as order food to be dilivered at home, booking ticket without going to the office or inquire after their parents or friend’s family without visit them. Those convinences make people harly communicate face to face. That’s not good because they don’t know how exactly the changes of their parents or their friend for such a long time they haven’t seen. The more commonly they are in use the less personal.

    Secondly, internet is the most comfortable communication, people not only talk to each other but also see each other by webcam. People can do many things with computer, such as study, do business , reading news……………..that’s great but it would make them passively and lazily because they work with computer many times per day.

    In general, instead of talk on the phone people should hanging out together or discussing with partner for a good contract personally better than contact with each other by email.

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    Ok!!I'll start with this topic now~~[heartbeat]


    Nowadays, telephones and email are the two most popular means of communication between people. We find that some people hold the opinion that telephones and email have made communication less personal. However, as far as I am concerned, I can hardly agree with this statement. My arguments for this point are listed as follows.

    First of all, it would be impossible for us to get in touch with our friends and families so quickly and frequently, if it were not for the help we get from telephones. It is telephones that give us the chance to talk to whoever we want at any time. Besides, voice is distinctive, regarded as one of the most important features of a person. You can never say that with the voice we hear on the phone, communication between people is not personal. Take myself for example, when I am away from home, I always prefer calling to writing a letter when I want to tell my mum I miss her. Why? For one thing, in this way I can converse with her in no time when I am homesick. The other and foremost reason is, her voice will make me feel like home, which is letters can not do.

    And when it comes to the email, cases are the same that on no account does it definitely make our communication less personal. Email has been an effective way of exchanging information since the flourish of the Internet. What is more, it has become a prevailing method of communication between people. I admit that with the monotonous type letters on computer monitor, email sometimes gives us the feeling of not being intimate. But we can not draw a conclusion at one glance. Whether the communication is personal or not is dependent on the relationship between the writer and the recipient. No wonder it would seem to be so estranged if the two persons are strangers who never meet each other before, which is not unusual on the Internet. When we send email to our close friends, we can choose the font as well as background pictures at will, in order to express our emotions more concretely. Now it is not impossible to insert our own voice and photographs in a email, which will make it lively and vivid if we intend to do so.

    In conclusion, telephones and email provide us with more choices for communication, making it faster and more convenient to contact people whenever we want. If the communication seems to be less personal than it was in the past, it is who makes the call or writes the email, other than its media, that should be responsible.



    Dear Erin,I have already critiqued two essays,so,PLEASE~~~~~~~[heartbeat][heartbeat]
    and there are some sentences and words that I'm not sure if I used them correctly,I marked them in green,thanks so much!![tm]

  8. #18
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    Hi Members,

    I have been reading a lot high scored essays. And I try to learn how to to write as well as organize my essay. But, it seems that my writing skill is still improved slowly. It would be helpful that I know what my weak points of writing are. Thus, I very appreciate any comment or suggestion about my essay, Thanks in advance.

    topic 88:

    The advent of telecommunication and information technology has brought much benefit to human beings. With their contributions, we can communicate one another easier even in a long distance. Furthermore, we can also send emails to friends no matter where our friends or we are. Beside, their undeniable advantages, there are some disadvantages. I do believe that these kinds of technology make communication between people less personal. In this essay, I would like to depend my opinion.

    First of all, traditional face to face conversation is preferable and much more personal. Talking via telephone, you cannot see the person you talk to. You just can listen and try to guess their feeling through their voice. But it is much more different in face to face case. In this kind of ordinary communication, you can even see the eyes sight, gestures or reactions of people whom you are talking to. By which, we can avoid misunderstand among people who participate in the conversation. It helps people closer each other in the feeling as well as affinity.

    In the case of communicating via email, not only you cannot see the person, who you sent email to, but also you cannot hear his/her voice. Email makes human conversation far less personal. Nevertheless, when you use email to contact your friends or relatives. Your information maybe not surely secure, because the service providers may analyse its content to check whether it contains some strange script or virus code that may harm others' computer.

    All at all, Telephone and email make human communication less personal. This effect on people is one of the most concerned disadvantages of modern technology. We all long for that with help of increasingly advance technology, it can be solved.



  9. #19
    ICY
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    Since the telephone and the email were invented, live has become more independent. People can talk to each other whenever they want, or wherever they want.
    But I agree with the opinion that telephones and emails have made communication between people less personal?. Although there are some negative things, there also have a great number of advantages which brought the Internet and the phone to us, like that we can talk to people all over the world and that we can work or study everything we want on the computer.

    To begin with, the only negative thing I can think of about email and telephone is that people do not talk much to each other personally anymore. Which can be a very bad thing. For example, if I would do a business, I would rather talk to a person by face to face instead of talking on the phone because I think if it is a very important thing, you cannot discuss it on the phone.

    Secondly, the email and telephone is great. You can talk to people all over the world. For example, I have many friends from Asia, but how can I communicate with them? I can just write them a quick email, and then couple minutes later I will receive the answer from them. Or if it is too impersonal for me to write mails, I can just call them on the phone and it seems to me as if they were much closer. Whereas if nobody invented the Internet or the phone, I would maybe never have talked to my friends again

    In addition, emailing is also a very good invention for working or studying. For example, the women who have kids can take their business to home, so they can earn the money but also can take care of their kids. Another example, if you are studying, you can do the homework or write essays on the computer, and then you can just mail them to your teacher.

    To summaries, I think the invention of the telephone and the email has been a great step in the universal history, now you can talk or write to anybody we want without paying a lot of money. Although this invention brought us also some negative things, in the whole I think it is a great chance we have through telephone and Internet.












    personal statement:i do not know why a lot of people allow "persons" appear in the article. it doesn't make sense in English.

  10. #20
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    Originally posted by ICY

    Since the telephone and the email were invented, live has become more independent. People can talk to each other whenever they want, or wherever they want.
    But I agree with the opinion that telephones and emails have made communication between people less personal?. Although there are some negative things, there also have a great number of advantages which brought the Internet and the phone to us, like that we can talk to people all over the world and that we can work or study everything we want on the computer.

    To begin with, the only negative thing I can think of about email and telephone is that people do not talk much to each other personally anymore. Which can be a very bad thing. For example, if I would do a business, I would rather talk to a person by face to face instead of talking on the phone because I think if it is a very important thing, you cannot discuss it on the phone.

    Secondly, the email and telephone is great. You can talk to people all over the world. For example, I have many friends from Asia, but how can I communicate with them? I can just write them a quick email, and then couple minutes later I will receive the answer from them. Or if it is too impersonal for me to write mails, I can just call them on the phone and it seems to me as if they were much closer. Whereas if nobody invented the Internet or the phone, I would maybe never have talked to my friends again

    In addition, emailing is also a very good invention for working or studying. For example, the women who have kids can take their business to home, so they can earn the money but also can take care of their kids. Another example, if you are studying, you can do the homework or write essays on the computer, and then you can just mail them to your teacher.

    To summaries, I think the invention of the telephone and the email has been a great step in the universal history, now you can talk or write to anybody we want without paying a lot of money. Although this invention brought us also some negative things, in the whole I think it is a great chance we have through telephone and Internet.












    personal statement:i do not know why a lot of people allow "persons" appear in the article. it doesn't make sense in English.
    Hi, ICY.

    You've made a good try with your essay, but there are some key points of concern that you should work on improving.

    First of all, when answering this type of question (agree/disagree or advantages/disadvantages) you need to pick one side of the argument and stick with it. Don't move back and forth between the two points of view unless you are asked to discuss both in the question. Your essay would've have been more successful if you had simply written about the advantages of cell phone and e-mail communication, rather than addressing the disadvantages as well.

    Another point to keep in mind, which you've done to a point in your essay, is to include your main points in the introduction and to address each of these points in paragraphs in the body of your essay. You should eliminate the first paragraph of the body in this essay altogether. It only confuses the readers and takes them away from your main ideas.

    Your summary does what it is supposed to: to restate what you've already said in your essay. Make sure that you pay close attention to "obvious" spelling and grammar errors like incorrect parts of speech--i.e. "summaries" where "summarize" is needed.

    I hope this will be of help to you.

    Best of luck,


    TM Staff

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