minhnam138 Posted June 13, 2011 Share Posted June 13, 2011 Topic: People attend college or university for many different reasons. Why do you think people attend college or university ? This is my first practice essay ever, please review it :D My essay: There is increasing number of people who attend university and college every year. Some of them want to take new experiences, others hope to gain knowledge. In my opinion, applicants choose their schools not only for high education level but also for new look in life. First of all, if you want to get a good job, you should graduate from a college. Many jobs such as: accountant, marketing,... require you a lot of special skills which include leadership, communicating... These skills help you organize your work, treat your staffs and can be only trained logically in university or college. Secondly, we all know that knowledgeable person often receives more respect from his community. With his ability, he is more confident, more successful than who have low level of education. Moreover, educated people have some right which is out of reach with people who don't attend university such as: jobs, salary,... Finally, somebody applies for a college to have new experiences. They can make friends, enjoy student's life,... There are many rich businessmen who still study university at high age. School makes them remember their childhood, forget their busy life for little bit of time. Inconclusion, studying in college is considered to be advisable for everyone. Whatever you do, whoever you are, a university is always a good place for you to enjoy your life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tia2011 Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 There is no space between paragraph? I saw a lot of '...' in your essay. I think it is better if you use etc or and so on. For example: 'Many jobs such as: accountant, marketing,... require you a lot of special skills which include leadership, communicating...' you can change it into full sentence format: Many jobs such as accountant or marketing will require you a lot of special skills, including leadership and communicating. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hanno Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 Hi I really like your essay, I can not judge, if it is grammatically perfect, but it is an interessting read! I just wrote an essay to the same topic myself, but with a different focus. Many greetings Hanno Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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