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#023: In some countries, teenagers have jobs while


Erin

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In my opinion, the concept of teenage-students working to support themselves is very good. This concept is prevelant mostly in western countries, but is picking up in metros in some South-Asian countries as well. There are a lot of advantages to this.

 

Firstly, students learn to be independant very early in life. Earning gives them a sense of responsibility, which is very important for progressing in a chosen career later in life. It also inculcates the sense of spending hard-earned money, carefully. There are parents who keep complaining that there children are spend-thrifts and do not value their money. I would highly recommend to such parents to encourage their children to work.

 

Also, such students can help their parents by contributing to the family income in whatever small way they can. This increases their respectability within family and society. Such students grow up to be good decision-makers and mature individuals.

 

Besides, most successful entrepreneurs in the world, started out very early and learnt through their early experiences and failures. Failures that come late in life can be very discouraging and damaging to an individuals personality. But a person who has faced such failures early usually comes out strong and more entreprising, thus increasing the success rate.

 

However, inspite of all the good things about students working for themselves, there may also be some disadvantages to this concept. If parents stop supervising their children and leave them to be independant, this may lead to students going astray. If they are not made accountable to all the money spent by them, chances are that they may pick up some bad habits like drugs and alcoholism and destroy their own lives.

 

Thus, we can say that teenagers who work can groom up to be an asset to their family and society as adults. The only word of caution here would be that parents should be aware of the sources of money of their child and make sure that it is spent intelligently, so as to benefit them.

 

 

 

 

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi, this is my essay.

023# In some countries, teenagers have jobs while they are still students. Do you think this is a good idea? Support your opinion by using specific reasons and details.

 

 

 

I strongly support the idea that "teenagers have job while they are still student" because they can learn many thing useful for their life in the future. I will try my best to give out some reasons to support my idea.

 

Firstly, if students work they will understand the value of money. For example, one works in a restaurant as a waiter 3 hours a day and receives 6 dollars per hour. I am sure that he has to think twice before deciding to buy a pair of Nike air shoes costing 90 dolars or a 400 dollar mobile phone, because he has to work very hard even late at night for several days to earn that amount of money. He may not have this feeling if he get money from his parents.

 

Secondly, they can learn to take responsibilities. Let come back to my previous example. The student has to come to work on time, because other people depend on him. If he is late, the customers will not be well-served and they do not want to come next time. Consequently, the turnover of the restaurant is decreased and he will get less money and may lose his job. It is quite a good experience for him when he graduates and come to the reality.

 

Thirdly, when students work they will become independent and confident. In my country, Vietnam, many students who come from rural areas work to pay for their own expenses because their parents are very poor. They do many jobs to earn money such as waiter, home tutor ... And through working they will be self-contained. I think this character is very important for them in the future. In life, sometimes people have to deal with difficult situations without any help from ohers.

 

In short, students should work to earn money. They will understand the value of money, learn to take reponsibilities and become confident. These factors play a key role in successes in our world.

 

 

 

Your comments and suggestions are warmly welcome. Thanks a heap:cool:

 

 

 

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Good morning Tho :D !

 

Hardly can I see mistakes from your essay! I like it most among all of yours before!

 

The biggest thing I don't love in it is the intro:

I strongly support the idea that "teenagers have job while they are still student" because they can learn many thing useful for their life in the future. I will try my best to give out some reasons to support my idea.

Don't you think you can put your 3 big ideas right in this intro? I like essays that have summarize the mainideas in the intro. It looks more organizational. And IMO you have no need to state 'I will try my best to give out some reasons to support my idea', cuz it seems like you've been thinking so hard to dig out just some ideas. Take it easy and show the scorers that the topic is only a piece of cake for you :)!

 

Besides I suggest you to use some other words such as 'On the other hand' or 'finally' instead of 'thirdly'. I myself don't like to make my essay have more than 2 numbers.

 

Well that's all I can tell :D, overall your essay is marvelous! I will give you a 5, or even 5.5!

 

300 to ya,

 

-phuong-

 

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Originally posted by Tho

 

Hi, this is my essay.

023# In some countries, teenagers have jobs while they are still students. Do you think this is a good idea? Support your opinion by using specific reasons and details.

 

 

 

I strongly support the idea that "teenagers have job while they are still student" because they can learn many thing useful useful things for their life in the future. I will try my best to give out some reasons to support my idea.

 

Firstly, if students work they will understand the value of money. For example, one works in a restaurant as a waiter 3 hours a day and receives 6 dollars per hour. I am sure that he has to think twice before deciding to buy a pair of Nike air shoes costing 90 dolars dollar or a 400 dollar mobile phone, because he has to work very hard even late at night for several days to earn that amount of money. He may not have this feeling if he gets money from his parents.

 

Secondly, they can learn to take responsibilities. Let come back to my previous example. The student has to come to work on time, because other people depend on him. If he is late, the customers will not be well-served and they do not want to come next time. Consequently, the turnover of the restaurant is decreased and he will get less money and may lose his job. It is quite a good experience for him when he graduates and come to the reality.

 

Thirdly, when students work they will become independent and confident. In my country, Vietnam, many students who come from rural areas work to pay for their own expenses because their parents are very poor. They do many jobs to earn money such as waiter, home tutor and so on. And through working they will be self-contained. I think this character is very important for them in the future. In life, sometimes people have to deal with difficult situations without any help from others.

 

In short, students should work to earn money. They will understand the value of money, learn to take responsibilities and become confident. These factors play a key role in successes in our world.

 

 

 

Your comments and suggestions are warmly welcome. Thanks a heap:cool:

 

Fabulous!!:D

 

Noon

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  • 5 months later...

hi folks,

as a newcomer I hope for some comments, because I have no real sense, in which direction my essay-trials tend.

---> if this trial completely flies into the face of the general essay-idea, PLZ!!! let me know. (by the way, nice icons:[dance]:D)

 

_____

 

 

From my point of view the answer to the above stated question can solely be: Yes, it is a good idea to be earning one’s own money even if one is still young and at one’s studies.

 

But in general the decision to spend time working during one’s studies depends on the one hand on one’s financial circumstances. On the other hand one’s ability to manage studies, houseworks and attendance at lectures in order to acquire sufficient knowledge to pass the exams migth additionally limit one’s available time for a job.

 

Taking into account my personal situation at studies and considering my present monetary situation I soon arrive at the conclusion that it wouldn’t have been feasible for me to afford the needs of everyday’s life without earning my own money. Moreover being financially independent from my parents makes me feel comfortable and grown-up.

 

However while preparing intensively for my diploma exams or my promotion I would rather make allowances for pausing my job, due to the intensification of studies.

 

In a nutshell, I consider having a job while attending the university rather important as long as earning money does not hinder the achievement of scholar aims.

 

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Hi Erin ,guys and glas.........Pleasssssssezz, I need to get my essay evaluated soon :o, I have to take the test on March 26, so I will be writing scores :D of essays here, I hope you guys will help me by reading them and giving me suggestions. :cool:

Cheerss...!

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I think it is a good idea for teenagers to have jobs while they are still students because it is an excellent way to prepare them for the "real" world, it teaches them to be responsible and trains them early in their lives to handle their own finances.

 

Parents very often tend to be over protective of their childern and shield them from the harsh realities of life. In my opinion I think the earlier a child or teenager is exposed to the realities of life the higher would the child's maturity and chances of being successful in life. The best way to gain experience or to expose a teenager to what he can expect from life is to give him or her an opportunity to work in the real world. The teenager would immediately learn or atleast be exposed to many things in life which he or she would have never seen, experienced or imagined before.

 

Secondly once a person is exposed to the realities of life, he becomes more responsible since he would know that life is not all that easy as he had experienced before he started to work. Inevitably the teen has to plan his day properly when he has to work and this would help him in organising his day and time management skills. He would have to make choices, though they may seem small at this point in life. This would teach him a very important lesson that there might be a wide gap between what we actually want to do and what we actually have to do. In the teenager's perspective it might be a choice he has to make between having to enjoy with his friends or work. Certainly all the above would help him in being more responsible.

 

But in my opinion the most important lesson having a job can do to a teenager is help him in planning his finances. The teenager may not earn much but it gives him an hands on experience in spending his money judiciously. I believe a person understands an idea faster when he actually experiences it, hence if a person starts to plan his own finances he can handle it better than learning about it theorotically. If a teen comes from a poor family he can work, earn his own money and yet not be deprived of the all the fun that an average teenager wants have or the money can even pay for his education.

 

Hence I strongly believe that it is a good idea for teenagers to have a job while they are still students, not only for economic reasons but it can used as ideal training ground of what to expect in his years after education.

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  • 2 months later...

Hi, Erin and others, may you please comment on my essays!

 

23. In some countries, teenagers have jobs while they are still students. Do you think this is a good idea? Support your opinion by using specific reasons and details.

 

The notion that different people have different preferences is deeply rooted in my mind. Whether teenagers should make money when they are students is up to them. I believe that teenagers should consider their own management skills, financial necessities and the experiences that may be derived from the jobs. However, if they are aged under 16, which is the standard working age in most of the countries, they should be encouraged not to go out for a job. The reasons will be outlined below.

 

In the real business world are a lot of unscrupulous businessmen that we cannot avoid from. Even as an adult, we often fall into prey. The numerous lawsuits between the employers and employees can prove this. On account of this, most of the governments forbid the youngsters under 16 to enter into the employment contracts with the companies. Personally I totally agree with such an arrangement in consideration of their lack of maturity and sophistication.

 

In other cases, the teenagers aged above 16 should be given opportunities to work. They can learn to be more independent if they have the chances of working with other experienced workers. Also, the organization structure and the working procedures can instill an important concept of disciplinary behavior to them. In addition, the compensation gained by themselves can fulfill their wants and needs.

 

However, I would like to stress that if their work adversely affect their learning progress due to their inability of controlling their time, it would be better for them to concentrate on their studies only unless their families are really living in poverty.

 

In short, governments should protect those who are under the age of 16 since they are immature enough to work in the real world and they are at the ages which should receive normal education. Once they reach this standard age, they should have the chances to freely determine whether they should have jobs based on the above attributes.

 

 

 

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Originally posted by hoper

 

Hi, Erin and others, may you please comment on my essays!

 

23. In some countries, teenagers have jobs while they are still students. Do you think this is a good idea? Support your opinion by using specific reasons and details.

 

The notion that different people have different preferences is deeply rooted in my mind. Whether teenagers should make money when they are students is up to them. I believe that teenagers should consider their own management skills, financial necessities and the experiences that may be derived from the jobs. However, if they are aged under 16, which is the standard working age in most of the countries, they should be encouraged not to go out for a job. The reasons will be outlined below.

 

In the real business world are a lot ofmany unscrupulous businessmen that we cannot avoid use escape or loose the from from. Even as an adult, we often fall into prey. The numerous lawsuits between the employers and employees can prove this. On account of this, most of the governments forbid the youngsters under 16 to enter intoengage the employment contracts with the companies. Personally, I totally agree with such an arrangement in consideration of their lack of maturity and sophistication.

 

In other cases, the teenagers aged above 16 should be given opportunities to work. They can learn to be more independent if they have the chances of working to work with other experienced workers. Also, the organization structure and the working procedures can instill an important concept of disciplinary behavior to them. In addition, the compensation gained by themselves can fulfill their wants and needs. I think the last sentence needs restatement

 

However, I would like to stress point out or underline that if their work adversely affects their learning progress due to their inability of controlling their time, it would be better for them to concentrate on their studies. only unless their families are really living in poverty.Work should be an option only if their families are living in poverty.[/color]

 

In short, governments should protect those who are under the age of 16 since they arerather immature enough to work in the real world and they are at the ages which when they should receive normal education. Once they reach this the [/red] standard age, they should have the chances to freely determine whether they should have jobs based on the above attributes.

 

 

 

I think you shoul work on vocabulary..Just my 2 cents..

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  • 3 weeks later...
Originally posted by Erin Billy

 

In some countries, teenagers have jobs while they are still students. Do you think this is a good idea? Support your opinion by using specific reasons and details.

 

I don't think I am convincing enough.. can anyone tell me if I am right? Thanks!

 

 

It is true many teenagers work while they are still students. I consider that working is a good idea as long as it does not interfere with the educational process.

 

Teenagers gain a lot of experience while they are working. By working students can achieve a deeper knowledge in the study field of their choice. If a teenager attends accounting classes, for example, the decision of working in the accounting department of a firm could help him better understand the informational flow and make several connections between what he is learning in school and what is happening in the real economic process. Still, a job is a complementary activity and the students should not neglect their studies even if on a short period of time, the job provides more professional and material satisfaction.

 

In addition, working is not only about gaining some skills and achieving deeper knowledge but is also about interacting with people of different backgrounds and getting along with them. Having a job helps a teenager to better understand the human psychological profile, provides him with useful socializing skills. For instance, a teenager will learn to recognize easily the difference between a sincere and trustworthy colleague and a dishonest and unreliable one, by permanently interacting on his daily job with different kinds of people and co-workers.

 

Overall, having a job can help a student in his learning process by achieving deeper knowledge and practicing what he learns theoretically, and also can improve his socializing skills and capabilities that will help him in his further quests and professional life. It is also important to specify the fact that a student should not neglect his studies and that he should think that having a job is a complementary activity but not the most important one for him. To conclude, working is a good experience for teenager students.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Please comment on my version. welcome with any comments. Please let me know my mistakes. :)

 

In some countries, teenagers have jobs while they are still students. Do you think this is a good idea? Support your opinion by using specific reasons and details.

 

I strongly agree to the statement that teenagers have jobs while they are still students because they will learn to be independent, will again experience, will be exposed to real world, and value money.

 

Firstly, students will learn to be independent in their early life. For example, when it comes to take an extra class that interests me. I will not depend financially on my parents. If I work and earn money, I will take my own decision and register for class. At the same time, I will also think twice to take the decision whether to join the class and how it would help my career.

 

In my opinion, by being independent we will also be responsible. Coming to pervious example, by taking up the course that I like, I would try to complete it and I will be paying the fees. So I will put my maximum effort to get good grades in that course which I choose.

 

Secondly, students will be experienced in job market. For example, if I post my resume recruiters would ask me for experience and most of the employer's don't like to hire the person who is a fresher in job market. And student will also learn, to be in time to his work place because others at work will be dependent on him. If he doesn't perform well or if he is always late to his work place will lose his job.

 

Thirdly, student can learn to manage his finance and he will understand the value of money. For example, working as a waiter in a restaurant. I would think twice to purchase designer clothes or cell phone because I need to pay other bills too. Instead of spending money on other fancy items I would be spending on necessary items.

 

In conclusion, based on the above reasons. I strongly support that student should work in order to get responsible and experienced. He will again confidence being independent, by living his own life and will be ready to face the world.

 

 

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  • 3 months later...

hi every one this is my essay. I am going to take an exam in about 2 weeks, so I worry about the writing part so much.

 

Anyways,my friend told me that TWE topic requires student to write at least 250 words.Is this true? if anyone knows, please clarify my doubt

Thank you in advance:)

--------------------------------------------

 

Topic23##In some countries, teenagers have jobs while they are still students. Do you think this is a good idea? Support your opinion by using specific reasons and details.

 

Many people say that to become decent adults in the future, students should work. In my opinion, I couldn’t agree with this notion more. There are innumerable reasons rendering me to think so ,but here, in this essay, I will share some primary ones as follows.

 

First of all, working while learning enable students to know the value of money. For this reason, these students will pay more attention to their study since they realize the worth of money they pay for their tuition free. Moreover, they won’t behave in extravagant manners due to knowing how hard to earn money.

 

Also, working students will know how to manage time wisely since they have to do 2 things,both study and working,concomitantly. Due to this, the working students will, subsequently, be efficient workers who offent receive promotion thanks to their time-managing ability.

 

Last but not least, the level of wages for students is cheaper than those of adults, thus positively affecting businesses. For instance, businesses such as restaurants can curtail their cost by hiring students as workers, thereby creating more profit to them. In addition, that businesses run well will conducively affect to the economy as a whole as well. So, the better the businesses run, the higher the economy grows.

 

To sum up, while some people may think that students working while learning negatively affect their education: students don’t have time to go over their lessons, I, conversely, gainsay this idea. In my opinion, students working while learning not only pay more attention to their study and know how to manage time wisely but they also help support the growth of economy. Therefore, there is no doubt whatsover that children should work while they are student.

 

:p:p:p:p

 

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Originally posted by chung

 

hi every one this is my essay. I am going to take an exam in about 2 weeks, so I worry about the writing part so much.

 

Anyways,my friend told me that TWE topic requires student to write at least 250 words.Is this true? if anyone knows, please clarify my doubt

Thank you in advance:)

--------------------------------------------

 

Topic23##In some countries, teenagers have jobs while they are still students. Do you think this is a good idea? Support your opinion by using specific reasons and details.

 

Many people say that to become decent adults in the future, students should work. In my opinion, I couldn’t agree with this notion more. There are innumerable reasons rendering me to think so ,but here, in this essay, I will share some primary ones as follows.

 

First of all, working while learning enable students to know the value of money. For this reason, these students will pay more attention to their study since they realize the worth of money they pay for their tuition free. Moreover, they won’t behave in extravagant manners due to knowing how hard to earn money.

 

Also, working students will know how to manage time wisely since they have to do 2 things,both study and working,concomitantly. Due to this, the working students will, subsequently, be efficient workers who offent receive promotion thanks to their time-managing ability.

 

Last but not least, the level of wages for students is cheaper than those of adults, thus positively affecting businesses. For instance, businesses such as restaurants can curtail their cost by hiring students as workers, thereby creating more profit to them. In addition, that businesses run well will conducively affect to the economy as a whole as well. So, the better the businesses run, the higher the economy grows.

 

To sum up, while some people may think that students working while learning negatively affect their education: students don’t have time to go over their lessons, I, conversely, gainsay this idea. In my opinion, students working while learning not only pay more attention to their study and know how to manage time wisely but they also help support the growth of economy. Therefore, there is no doubt whatsover that children should work while they are student.

 

:p:p:p:p

 

Hi, Chung.

 

I think you've got a pretty good essay here. It's well-organinzed and easy to understand. You've expressed yourself clearly in it.

 

I would recommend, however, that you state your main points in your introduction rather than just alluding to them as future points to be presented. State them. Tell the reader what they are at the beginning. It will make your point of view clearer and stronger.

 

I also feel that although your first two main points (understanding the value of money and learning time management) support your thesis (i.e. "to become decent adults in the future, students need to work"), the last point re: the benefit that student employees bring to the economy...does not. Make sure that all points support your thesis, not just lend support to your opinion.

 

Overall, the essay is quite clear and organized. Well done.

 

I hope this is of help to you.

 

Best of luck,

 

TM Staff.

 

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  • 4 weeks later...

Hi, this is another essay I wrote last week. Any comments are welcome and please estimate my score. Thank you.[heartbeat]

 

 

In some countries, teenagers have jobs while they are still students. Do you think this is a good idea? Support your opinion by using specific reasons and details.

 

Teenage students in some countries are more interested in having jobs. I do extremely agree with this good idea because this makes teenagers realize the value of money, they have beneficial activities in their spare time and they have more mature vision.

 

Having a part time job of teenagers is a good choice when their schools closed at the end of semester. I have seen that some of them work as a waiter/waitress in a fast food stand such as KFC or Mc Donald while others are merchants selling their handicrafts such as postcards, necklace, earrings, clothes etc. Those are some examples of legal jobs which are popular in teenage students now. I once have a job while I was a student, selling my second hand stuffs such as clothes and books. Advantages from having job make me understand how hard of getting money because I spent much time to persuade customer to buy my stuffs but it failed and I have experienced with different kinds of customers who are rude and not polite. Although I gained a little of money from my business, I was proud of this benefit. After that I realize the value of money and I always think of the most benefit before buying anything. Furthermore, I have more tolerance and a service mind when I participated in activities with a lot of people at schools. It seems that my vision is widely opened and grower as a result of real experience taught me to be responsible, to be on time and to know where the optimistic point of negotiation is. Additionally, working provides more advantages than go shopping or drug addicted in spare time.

 

To conclude, it is a good idea and we should sponsor teenagers to have a job while they are still students as of all reasons I indicated above. However, it should not impact on the education of students including they should manage time properly.

 

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  • 4 weeks later...

could you evaluate pls...

 

23-In some countries, teenagers have jobs while they are still students. Do you think this is a good idea? Support your opinion by using specific reasons and details.

 

Working conditions changes in the time. Nowadays there are no differences between teenagers and their parents to earn money to struggle in the life.

 

Primarily, however I support the idea of working while you are still student is not a good idea. Because you have to concentrate your lessons otherwise you can not be successful, but most student must to do this, now a days people have different needs. Everybody has to work and students as well. Even especially students have to. If a student wants to support his/her family economically it is an obligation to work besides to study.

 

Secondly, sometimes working is an enjoyment for people. They work besides to study to have fun and to spend their time. If so, working can be useful rather than being tiring. Because, that work becomes an instrument that people can recharge and escape from all their problems.

 

To sum up, what I want to say is, nobody wants to work while they are attending a school but economic or social situations some times forces students to work how ever I don’t support this.

 

 

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  • 4 weeks later...

hi there,

 

I think you are off topic. They just want you to discuss whether you agree that students should work while studying or not. They do not want you to find any reasons whlie students have to work. Moreover, you should be a bit more careful with your grammar as well.

 

Hope that helps :)

 

Nam

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Working conditions changes in the time. Nowadays there are no differences between teenagers and their parents to earn money to struggle in the their life.

 

Primarily, however I support the idea of that working while you are still a student is not a good idea. Because you have to concentrate your lessons otherwise you can not be successful, ??I don't know that does it mean?[/red]but most student must to do this, nowadays different people have different needs. Everybody has to work and students as well. Even especially students have to. If a student wants to support his/her family economically it is an obligation to work besides to study.that they have to work andstudy at the same time.

Secondly, sometimes working is an enjoyment for people. They work besides to study to have fun and to spend their time. If so, working can be useful rather than being tiring. That is Because, that work becomes an instrument that people can recharge and escape from all their problems.

 

To sum up, what I want to say is, nobody wants to work while they are attending a school[red]. but economic or social situations some times forces students to work however I don't support this.

 

 

 

:)Honestly, It's really tough for me to modify your essay.What I can do is just correct some grammer mistakes in it. But I think you'd better write this topic again for it's a little bit away from the topic.

 

[banana]Don't worry, It's just my point of view. And you still have plenty of time to practise.

 

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This is my first post,plz any advices and suggustions. thank you!:)

In some countries, teenagers have jobs while they are still students. Do you think this is a good idea? Support your opinion by using specific reasons and details.

 

Whether teenagers get jobs or not when they are still in school is always a hot issue for parents and educators. Most people support such an opinion that students should pay more attention on their studies. Personally, I cannot refuse the suggestion that students may have some voluble jobs. But I want to proclaim a condition: It must be after students successfully finished their studies.

As students, joining into some work has some advantages that are detailed as follows.

Firstly, students can contact with some practical works that they cannot learn from books. After hard working on a subject, it is undoubtedly a good thing if they can acquire related practice from a given job. For example, my major is automotive engineering, when my classmates finished the class ¡°automotive engineering¡±, most of us went to a factory to get a part-time job. As a result, while we got salary we understood the knowledge deeply.

Secondly, students can learn about the society early and a real job can give them a chance to learn how to deal with all kinds of difficulties. Although we often call school a small community, as a student one only have a few chances to learn about the real society. Early job help them find their shortcomings, which cannot be found during their school lives. In addition, when students work in a work team, they can learn how to deal with the relationship with other members and how to present their own suggestions. I can assert that this knowledge is as important as those theories from books.

Further more, definitely, students would more understand the value of money. After making money by one¡¯s hands, after hard work ¡¢competition with others and special experience which can¡¯t even be imagined, one would grow up and become mature. Then, one can attain the power that urges them to go ahead. Cherishing what one have had turn to be important. The future can be found on today.

On the other hand, I insist on that, for students, study is the more important than any other things. Anything whatever you do, you should consider your study. If you have no time and energy to deal with your study, you¡¯d better keep you mind on your books.

 

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  • 3 weeks later...
Originally posted by funfun

 

This is my first post,plz any advices and suggustions. thank you!:)

In some countries, teenagers have jobs while they are still students. Do you think this is a good idea? Support your opinion by using specific reasons and details.

 

Whether teenagers get jobs or not when they are still in school is always a hot issue for parents and educators. Most people support such an opinion that students should pay more attention on their studies. Personally, I cannot refuse the suggestion that students may have some voluble jobs. But I want to proclaim a condition: It must be after students successfully finished their studies.

As students, joining into some work has some advantages that are detailed as follows.

Firstly, students can contact with some practical works that they cannot learn from books. After hard working on a subject, it is undoubtedly a good thing if they can acquire related practice from a given job. For example, my major is automotive engineering, when my classmates finished the class ¡°automotive engineering¡±, most of us went to a factory to get a part-time job. As a result, while we got salary we understood the knowledge deeply.

Secondly, students can learn about the society early and a real job can give them a chance to learn how to deal with all kinds of difficulties. Although we often call school a small community, as a student one only have a few chances to learn about the real society. Early job help them find their shortcomings, which cannot be found during their school lives. In addition, when students work in a work team, they can learn how to deal with the relationship with other members and how to present their own suggestions. I can assert that this knowledge is as important as those theories from books.

Further more, definitely, students would more understand the value of money. After making money by one¡¯s hands, after hard work ¡¢competition with others and special experience which can¡¯t even be imagined, one would grow up and become mature. Then, one can attain the power that urges them to go ahead. Cherishing what one have had turn to be important. The future can be found on today.

On the other hand, I insist on that, for students, study is the more important than any other things. Anything whatever you do, you should consider your study. If you have no time and energy to deal with your study, you¡¯d better keep you mind on your books.

 

Hi, Funfun.

 

I think you've got a definite idea of what you want to say in this essay and you express yourself pretty well. However, I think the biggest problem in this particular essay is its lack of focus.

 

You really need to use the first paragraph as a starting point for the entire essay. Make sure that you have a thesis statement which clearly states your opinion, one way or the other. It should also include your main points (the things you will discuss in the body when you say things like, "First, Secondly...etc.").

 

It's important to take a solid stand here and to spend the entire essay lending support to your point of view. Do not confuse examples with main points.

 

The last paragraph of your essay begins with, "On the other hand...". At this point in your essay you want to wrap things up and restate what you've already said. Do not, instead, use the concluding paragraph to introduce new material or points opposed to the ideas you've expressed throughout your essay.

 

I hope this will be of help to you.

 

Best of luck,

 

TM Staff

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hello to everybody. [bounce]

I am looking forward to meeting with your opinion. :o

Thank you.

 

In some countries, teenagers have jobs while they are still students. Do you think this is a good idea? Support your opinion by using specific reasons and details.

 

 

Some students prefer to have a job while they are studying, because they want to try themselves in practice. Many of them believe that the sooner they start the more experience they will have in the future. In my opinion, I would not like to support this statement for many reasons.

 

The first reason for this is that students do not spare enough time for studies. Since responsible for both education and work, they need to distribute their time that usually is not easy. Being busy during whole day, their brain became tire and after huge working load, students can not devote themselves to studies as much as it required. They also do not have opportunity to attend such places as library or practical works. It often causes many problems and effect on the grades at the end of session.

 

The second reason for this is the lack of relations. Students, who prefer to work, usually choose distance form of education. I think that daily contact with both classmates and teachers can affect on the students much more useful than self-education. Since have big experience and knowledge in variety of fields, our teachers also can be the best advisers for us in our formation as a good worker in the future. That is why each of us must realize how important classes that we attend are.

 

In conclusion, I want to say that while studying we must come to know as much as possible. And really we should not care of ourselves as a good worker in that moment. The time is running. And one day we will have much time for getting big experience, but we will not have chance to be good students any more.

 

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Originally posted by malena

 

Hello to everybody. [bounce]

I am looking forward to meeting with your opinion. :o

Thank you.

 

In some countries, teenagers have jobs while they are still students. Do you think this is a good idea? Support your opinion by using specific reasons and details.

 

 

Some students prefer to have a job while they are studying, because they want to try themselves in practice(practices). Many of them believe that the sooner they start(,) the more experience they will have in the future. In my opinion, I would not like to support this statement for many reasons. (I think that it is better for the introduction part of body to be here)

 

The first reason for this is that students do not spare enough time for studies. Since responsible for both education and work, they need to distribute their time that(, which) usually is not easy. Being busy during whole day, their brain became tire and after huge working load(loads), students can not devote themselves to studies as much as it required. They also do not have opportunity to attend such places as library or practical works(library is seem to be right, but practical works is not likely to be correct). It often causes many problems and effect on the grades at the end of session.

 

The second reason for this is the lack of relations. Students, who prefer to work, usually choose distance(distant) form of education. I think that daily contact with both classmates and teachers can affect on the students much more useful than self-education. Since have big experience and knowledge in variety of fields, our teachers also can be the best advisers for us in our formation as a good worker in the future. That is why each of us must realize how important classes that we attend are.

 

In conclusion, I want to say that while studying we must come to know as much as possible. And really we should not care of ourselves as a good worker in that moment. The time is running. And one day we will have much time for getting big experience, but we will not have chance to be good students any more.

 

 

Nice essay! I think that your essay is always very logical.

 

In the above body, I write syntatical correction. And I think mentioning some examples would make your essay much better and cogent.

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