Rate this essay plz

[nitinag]

Topic:
Think of the most interesting class you have ever taken. Why did you enjoy this class so much? Use specific reasons and details to explain your answer.

The most interesting class I had ever taken was one on Automobiles in my engineering days. Firstly, it was a great break from the quantitative and monotonous lectures that took place in other classes. Secondly, automobiles were my passion and it was great to learn how an automatic torque converter would obviate the need to change gears. Or say how could a ferrari zoom past at 200 kmph! Speeds which were only a dream for any Indian those days!
Automoblies has always been my passion - especially the fast moving cars. I have been known as a notorious child right since my childhood! But my parents would be kind enough to let me have my way - except when it came to my dad's car. They knew - this was one thing they better not dare! Once I got a chance to latch on to my uncle's car. I was very young then and I somehow managed to short the battery. The whole electricals of the car went haywire. From that day onwards - my interest in cars doubled.
So here I was - finally attending a lecture on automobile engineering and getting to learn things I always wanted to. I have very high regards for the professor. He taught us complex topics by breaking them down into simple topics and explaining them lucidly. Mostly a backbencher - I always used to take the first row seat for this class.
Apart from being the dream - what this class taught me was that a lot of hard work and devotion goes behind a great automobile. It taught me that if one has to enjoy the best - he needs to work hard to get it. While working in the automobile workshop (our institute had a decent one) I got to learn how to dirty my hands. That day when my hands were filled with grease and my apron was all muddled with dirt - i realized that behind every silver lining goes a lot of donkey work.
Finally, the class I liked the best was the one where the professor discussed about various cutting edge technologies. He also brought the slides of S-Class mercedes, ferrari and a BMW. There I was dreaming - one day I am going to own one of those!

P.S. - Havent written this...(After all I am doing the donkey work right now!!)

[nitinag]

Hi
This has 383 words and was written in about 20 minutes. A couple of errors on hindsight has been in using lower case for "f" in ferrari and "m" in mercedes.

Hope You would help me to rate this one. Also what should be the typical length of these essays? 400 words? 600 words?
Regards.

[Tino]

Lowest score would probably be a 5. Might get a 6.

Like many Indian speakers of English, you use the PERFECT tenses more than Americans:

The most interesting class I had ever taken was one on Automobiles in my engineering days.
American: "The most interesting class I ever took..."

I have been known as a notorious child right since my childhood!
American: "I was known as a notorious child..." Plus, "as a child"..."since childhood" is kind of obvious... but for TOEFL it is probably OK.

Americans would probably not say "electricals", but "electrical system"...

But, it is not really wrong, though it might catch the eye of an American essay reveiwer. Still, I cannot imagine a score less than 5. I would bet on a 6 actually.

Tino

[nitinag]

Thanks a ton Tino...that was a really constructive feedback.

[anuj]

Originally Posted by nitinag

Also what should be the typical length of these essays? 400 words? 600 words?

At least 300+, preferably touching 400. Check out portions of this thread http://TestMagic.com/forums/showthread.php?t=12735

For an essay, "Bada Hai To Behtar Hai" (Size does matter) . But again do not loose control over the organization of the essay, in attempt to increase its content.

Anuj.