My first ever essay, please rate.... I have my GMAT after 4 days..

[k_r_m]

Think of the most interesting class you have ever taken. Why did you enjoy this class so much? Use specific reasons and details to explain your answer.


Every person in his life has a special day. And every person who has gone done schooling and college has a memorable class taken. I am not an exception. I too have a very memorable class taken during my under graduate collage.

I was in the second year of BBA, and it was a marketing management lecture. Our teacher was a highly qualified individual, and she was an MBA. Normally, she teaches in a very ordinary way, like explaining different concepts and then dictating the notes. But that day, she had a different concept of teaching in her mind. So as soon as the class began, she called me up along with two other female students. We were wondering as to what was going to happen, and why she called us up. But then, she didn't took long to explain her motive of calling us.

She assigned a role play to us, where I had to perform the role of a salesman, and I had to sell a washing powder. The two female students were asked to perform the role of house-wieves, to whom I had to convince to buy the washing powder. Well, prior to this role play, I had never done any acting, as I was kind of "stage-shy". So I was kind of uninterested in doing the play, but the teacher told me that I will have to do it, and if I don't, it will affect my practical project markings. So, as it was a compulsion, I decided to do it.

We had just 5 minutes to prepare for the play. So we decided to go to other room, and frame a nice play. So we did that, and came up with a nice idea. The idea was that I, being a salesman, will use a tactic to show the qualities of my companies washing powder as compared to that of other companines washing powder. So, the play began, and I approached the first house-wife. I knocked the door and as soon as she opened, I started explaining the qualities of the powder. But, as this was my first ever acting experience, I couldn't do the act properly. The teacher asked us to try it once again, but again I failed. I was feeling a bit guilty of not performing up to my teacher's expectations. But then, the teacher came up to me and depicted me as to how should I do it. She even visualized her perception of a salesperson in me, and it really helped. Then, we decided to try it again, and as it was for the third time, I had decided that if I don't do it well this time, I won't ever take a part in a play again.

Surprisingly, this time I did the play in a very comprehensive manner, and even the teacher clapped at my performance. It was such a great feeling, a feeling of achieving something after putting a lot of effort. I was so joyous and filled with a feeling of satisfaction. And this class brought a massive change in me towards acting. After that class, I took part in several role plays, and even in dramas. And that class act influenced my life so much, that today, I am an actor performing on stage shows and I have even acted in a serial. I thank my teacher and that one particular class, which lead my career to a new path.

[Dingus]

Nice imagination and a very gripping story! Well executed and holds interest.

I don't know much about the priorities of GMAT graders. Would
they prefer that you actually crossed over to an entirely different profession
even say, for effect? Just my thoughts, however.

All the best for your exams! Don't take the following suggestions
too seriously if you don't have much time to fine tune your writing.

-If you can spare some time, work a little on avoiding malapropisms
like: "...did the play in a very comprehensive" . I think you meant "convincing",
not "comprehensive".

-After you compose your essay, run through it quickly and correct any gross
spelling or grammar errors.

-Use full forms of words rather than abbreviations, the first time you use them.
This way, your readers can grasp your essay better. For eg.
"...In my sophomore year as a Bachelor of Business Accounting (BBA) undergraduate,.." Following this introduction, you can confidently proceed writing just the abbreviations.

-Take care of your tenses. If you are describing an incident from your past,
avoid the present tense and vice versa. For eg.." Usually, her classes were
painfully boring.." instead of .."Normally, she teaches.."

-Try to make your *first* transition more dramatic: For eg:
"However, on that fateful day..."
instead of "But that day,..."

[k_r_m]

Thanks a lot Dingus for such a wonderful and systematic scan of my essay.......By the way, how many grades does this essay deserve according to u?