Another essay please rate :)

**Hakuna Matata** · 05-15-2012, 06:42 AM

Please rate my essay. The task is as follows:

If you could invent something new, what product would you develop? Use specific details to explain why this invention is needed.

Here is my essay:

One I first wake up in the morning I make sure that I feel happy and good because my feelings will control my whole day. I need to start my day correctly. I always wish that I can have a machine that can monitor my feelings to tell me immediately when I am feeling bad. I believe that human beings are a thinking creature. They can control their life by thinking positively about their goals. Sometimes when we are busy with our daily activities we do not realize that we are feeling upset or bad. This machine will help individuals to control their feelings and hence change it immediately.

I can imagine this machine to be something like a watch that everyone can wear. It will have a smiley face on the top of it to remind everyone to smile. Also it has an indicator with three colors green that represents happy feelings, red that represents bad feelings and orange that indicates medium feelings neither happy nor bad. It will measure people’s feelings and show it through the colors. Once the person feels bad it will play a sound saying: “please smile” or any positive sentence.

I believe the control feelings machine can help people to monitor their feelings. This will have a great impact on the productivity of society members. When a person feels happy he would have a high productivity which will improve the world. Moreover it will help people to improve their health. Recently scientists have proved that laughing and feeling happy can heal people more than medicines. I have experienced it in my daily life when I am feeling upset and I suffer from fever, it takes me like two to three days to return to my natural health. However when I have fever and I feel happy or I enjoy doing something I really like it takes me less than 24 hours.

At the end maybe some readers will feel that this invent is crazy. This is the case with most of new invents in the world. They take time to be accepted be the public. For me if I have this device I am sure that my life will improve and I will make sure to always smile, feel happy and be positive just as I am doing now.

Thank you all in advance

**SeriousScholar** · 05-15-2012, 09:58 AM

Hi there,

I happened to notice your post just now and I made some suggestions for you (please see the attached Word document for the edits). Some others might be interested to see too because I explain some editorial issues in there.

The urch forum says that the upload has to be used within one hour so if you can't see or access it, just let me know and I can upload it again for you.

Hope the suggestions are helpful and best wishes with your essay!