could anyone evaluate my writing?

[ashk]

CHILDHOOD ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT YEARS OF PERSON’S LIFE

Human life encompasses different periods from infancy to oldness. There is a controversial issue between scientists that which period of one’s life is the most important of all. As far as I am concerned, childhood is the most important years throughout the lifespan because of a great number of reasons, three of which- that is- forming personality, finding their interest for choosing a job, and having proclivity for doing a crime , which are going to be broadly discussed hereunder.

First of all, the personality of adults forms when they are children. They can cultivate/develop good traits (in themselves) and learn how to be meritorious. They can also master how to forge a relationship with their peers and enjoy their lives, for example, and such attributes will remain when they grow up. In fact, it is to some extent impossible for adults to abandon their bad habits which have learnt in childhood or acquire meritorious attributes such as socializing with others while they were secluded in their childhood.

Second of all, children can find their interests in childhood and pursue them for the rest of their lives. As a matter of fact, they can choose their favorite jobs in the future and be prosperous in their jobs. There are a lot of successful people who have chosen their job based on childhood’s interests. Moreover, if one can exploit his or her childhood by mastering different skills, he or she can enjoy from the fruit of learning skills in adulthood. There is a proverb that says, “A good beginning makes a good ending.” So if one takes advantages of his or her childhood, he can start his or her future job more vigorously and pave the way of success.

Last but not least, children are prone to deviant behavior. If parents forsake their children and let them socialize with everyone they want, they may commit juvenile delinquency which it has detrimental effects on the rest of their lives. Statistics show that most of those who are in prisons, commit their first crime in childhood. So if children are not nurtured by their parents, they will deviate from a right way.

In conclusion, by taking into account all the above reasons, I think that the years of childhood are the MOST important years in one’s life, and it can affect their lives in both positive and negative ways.

[blacknight]

Hi ashk,

 

I don't consider myself proficient in english and thus I am totaly skeptical about my judgement. :P

 

" he can start his or her future job more vigorously "

"which it has detrimental" I guess no need for 'it'

 

"There is a controversial issue between scientists that which period of one’s life is the most important of all", "Statistics show that most of those who are in prisons, commit their first crime in childhood" seem to be superficial.

 

Your vocab is good. :)