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Thread: #132: If you could invent something new, what

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    Trying to make mom and pop proud
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    If you could invent something new, what product would you develop? Use specific details to explain why this invention is needed.



    Hi,everyone:This is my essay, please help me to correct it. Thanks a lot!

    Topic: If you could invent something new, what product would you develop? Use specific ditails and examples to expain why this invention is needed.

    People have many dreams. Some of them have already realized; others are still dreams. I have a dream that I can invent nano robots, which are used in the field of medicine. There are many reasons why I have this dream, and based on this limited time, I will explain two important ones. First, nano robots can replace ordinary medicinces and kill harmful bacteria and virus. Second, they can clean all kind of waste of human bodies.

    One important reason is that nano robots are so small that they can freely work on orders made by people in human bodies¡¯ blood vessels, such as killing harmful bacteria and virus. For example, if people got cancers, which are fateful diseases that cannot be effectively cured nowsdays, they need not worry because nano robots can kill these virus in their bobies. As a result, people need not eaten a lot of medinces and other remedies no more. Nano robots can do better than ever.

    Another important reason is that nano robots can cleanse all wastes and toxins of human bodies. People produce many wastes and toxins in their bodies everyday due to their metabolism. Their wastes and toxins must be cleansed in time, otherwise they are easy to sicken. Unfortunately, it is difficult for people to ger rid of them. However, if we have nano robots, they can do it as we want.

    In short, from what I have discussed above, we can understand that nano robots are very helpful to people. Of course, we cannot still make nano robots now, but I believe that nano robots will be invent one day with the development of the science and techology. This is not noly my dream, but also everyone¡¯s dream.

  2. #2
    Within my grasp!
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    Hi!
    A nice piece of work! Your imagination is wonderful I am watting for a nano robot with you.

    Your essay has some typos and strange characters, but it is minor.

    Just my 2 cent
    Noon

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    Hello
    Because I know how sad it is to post an essay and nobody to reply with comments, here is my comment (maybe you will comment on my essay too). I tried to follow the grammatical errors, but there were too many. I think yoou should better try to shorten your essay and to limit at the vocabulary that you are sure of.

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    TOEFL Essay Guru Vaya's Avatar
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    Hello!

    I don't think that there were 'to many' grammar mistakes, just a lot of mistypings (please paste your essay into microsoft word window and check your spelling).

    BTW, I believe you should have said in the conclusion that you (not others) will invent those robots. The topic asks: what would you invent?...

    Renata

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    1 out of 1 members found this post helpful. Good post? Yes | No
    Hi,
    I was quite disappointed that my first essay posted on TestMagic did not evoke any comments or suggestions. I hope this one does.
    Here it is:
    #132: If you could invent something new, what product would you develop? Use Specific details to explain why this invention is needed.

    If I could have the opportunity to invent something, I would invent a product system which could dissolve tooth decay and build the tooth back to normal shape and function. With this invention the need for the dreaded dentists drill would be eliminated. In today’s world, there may be only few people who do not have a tooth related problem of some kind or the other. An invention related to tooth decay would be beneficial to people all over the world.

    Tooth ache is one of the worst kinds of pain. I would like to invent the product, which would be in the form of a solution or gel to destroy tooth decay. One could swish it in the mouth and it would selectively reach and eliminate the tooth decay. Then the second part of the product would be placed over the tooth and the portion of the tooth destroyed would be filled with it. Most people who have been subjected to the dentist’s drill without anesthesia would agree that it is a most painful experience, and would welcome an invention which could circumvent the dentist’s drill.

    The loss of teeth can result in a lowered standard of living as one would not be able to eat the food that one is fond of, as one cannot chew properly. This invention would prove to be beneficial for economic reasons too. Dental treatment can turn out to be very expensive. Even with insurance, one finds that there are many types of dental treatment which may be essential, but are not covered by insurance. My invention would catch the dental disease at an early stage and prevent the necessity for any further expensive and costly treatment alternatives like root canal treatment and tooth replacement. It would save a lot of money for the insurance companies too.

    In conclusion, if given the chance and opportunity, I would invent a system of dental products which would not only enhance the health of all people including myself and reduce their financial expenditure, but also benefit all medical insurance companies.

    Thanks
    Malathi

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    Trying to make mom and pop proud
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    Hi,
    Thank you An Min . I wrote this essay in 30 mins and the earlier one in 28 mins.
    This site is simply awesome isn't it?
    Malathi

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