#039: With the help of technology, students

[Erin]

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? With the help of technology, students nowadays can learn more information and learn it more quickly. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

[spynkz]

Hi Erin, Please rate my essay. Thanks Shesh

Gone are the days when students used to search for information in the paper media, or from their teachers, this has changed for the better. Welcome to the technology age, students are surrounded with information from all sides. I agree with the statement of the topic, without reservation.

First, Students whether they are at school or at play are exposed to a plethora of information, with accessibility to a wider variety of knowledge base in the form of the internet, where information about anything can be gathered or stored at the click of a button. To quote an example, There is no elementary school in the district of Cupertino which is without a computer and an access to the internet, something which was not so true just 10 years before.

Second, Newer technologies like chat and streaming video transmission have made interaction with teachers and fellow students more convenient than before. Students learn faster due to their accessibility to 3D-imaging and graphics, they can visualize the idea in parallel, while listening to the lecture. A very practical use of this can be found in
distance learning programs, which are provided by most major universities in North America.

In addition, the usage of computer technology is not the only reason why students learn more and faster nowadays. There are a host of TV game shows and quizzes which are organized at a national level by various schools and colleges, pitting talents located at faraway places, leading to increase in the competition as well as diversification of their knowledge.

In conclusion, it can be observed that more and more younger people are being
exposed to richer avenues in their pursuit of knowledge. Students are using Technology and Technology is enhancing the global IQ, no doubt about it.

[AmigoRo]

I can't find any T or G errors in your essays. You writing is forceful but fluent, and the ideas are expressed very naturally. You have used appropriate examples.

The only pitfall, IMHO, is the last four words of your essay: No doubt about it. If your essay was thoroughly convincing and I felt that their is absolutley no doubt about it, I would not complain. One simply cannot produce comprehensive essay on such a broad subject in 30 minutes; an essay that will erase all doubt. So I think "no doubt about it" is going over the top a wee bit.

AmigoRo

[spynkz]

Thanks Amigo,

I agree that I tend to go a wee bit over the top...ha ha. Thanks for reminding me. I agree I have to work more on my conclusions..they seem to dilute the whole essay, by tending to portray some kind of arrogance( I know you won't say it ) Probably, that should be left for my next speech huh!.
I am going through your essays in the GMAT section and your conclusions are really the high points of your essays, I hope some of your conclusion writing ability will be induced in me.

Shesh

[AmigoRo]

Shesh,

Composition styles are many. The one I prefer is as follows:

Say what you are going to say

Say what you said you were going to say

Say what you said you were going to say and you said

Then sandwich this between a brilliant opening line and a catchy closing statement, an viola, you get a nice essay.


You need to attract the readers interest from the outset. That's why you need an appealing opening statement. Then you need to basically define what you are going to talk about. Just tell the reader what to expect from the essay.

In the main body, expand your points. Debate them and discuss them. I see you do this quite well, so I won't discuss it any further.

The conclusion is very important. I believe that it should be a compendium of what has been expressed in the body. However, make sure you that you don't repeat yourself. I know, this is not easy. What you need to do is sum it up and paraphrase it. This is all important. We know how difficult it is to do reading comprehension questions. The reader will have the same problem. If the reader in this case is the grader, and he is most likely to forget half the things you have said in the body. So, remind him again of all the good points you came up with.

Last, but by no means least, end with a bang and not with a whimper. Leave a lasting impression on your reader. However much ETS touts its essay markers as being objective, the truth is a level of bias goes in to the grade. Make sure the bias is towards you, and not against.

HTH
AmigoRo