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#031: Some people spend their entire lives in one


Erin

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Some people spend their entire lives in one place. Others move a number of times throughout their lives, looking for a better job, house, community, or even climate. Which do you prefer: staying in one place or moving in search of another place? Use reasons and specific examples to support your opinion.
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Some people spend their entire lives in one place. Others move a number of times throughout their lives. In my opinion however, I would prefer to stick with the second option .... be free as a bird. It does not necessarily imply that I prefer to live the life of a vagabond but here in this essay, I shall highlight the reasons for me going with the second option.

 

I am a final year Computer Engineering student from India. As far as I can see my career options, I have two avenues open for me. The first one, of course, is to graduate and be employed in a software company in the position of a systems analyst. The second one, on the other hand, is to continue with my studies and end up doing a Ph.D.

 

Considering the first option, let us not hesitate to acknowledge the fact that jobs in the Information Technology industry are highly location independent. Most of the software companies thrive on doing consultancy, which is essentially helping out the clients to automate their way of doing business. The Indian IT industry deals with clients based both domestically as well as internationally. Therefore, an Indian software professional shouldn't be surprised if he/she is recruited domestically and be translocated to Silicon Valley the following year. So the first point essentially deals with migration from one place to another because of job constraints.

 

Alternatively, if I continue with my studies and end up doing Research and Development work in the R&D sector, I will have to get a doctorate degree from a respectable university. Infact, that is my purpose of appearing for GRE and TOEFL examinations. I would ideally love to get my Ph.D. degree from a university in the United States, which has a strong infrastructure and reputation in my area of interest and specialization. If I finally succeed in securing admission at an American University, I'll have to move out of my current place.

 

It has been generally observed that people want to go to the US primarily for three reasons. Their first priority is the quality of life they would get in the US. They expect that the standard of living will improve if they move to America. A close second is the financial factor. But in these recent years, it has been observed that multinational companies offer an "International Standard salary". So the salary earned by a professional based outside the US is, if not more, very much comparable to the American average salary. A distant third preference is to avail the American technology. Unlike here in India, almost every University in the United States is equipped with an infrastructure that facilitates very high end research. In my case however, I put my priority on the last point.

 

Thus, we see that employment and educational requirements might force educated urban professionals to shift locations irrespective of their own wish. Under these circumstances, there is no scope for any home sick individual to make significant progress in life. A person will always underachieve if he is not flexible enough to adapt to changing environments and requirements. Fortunately though, I am adaptable to changing environments and not home sick. Hence, I would like to live the life of an explorer.

 

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Pls evalutate my essay ...

 

With regards,

Linus

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PLS RATE MY ESSAY. THANKS.

 

Some people spend their entire lives in one place. Others move a number of times throughout their lives, looking for a better job, house, community, or even climate. Which do you prefer: staying in one place or moving in search of another place? Use reasons and specific examples to support your opinion.

 

 

Today, people migrating from one country to another, from one continent to another is a common thing as transportantion means have greatly developed, travelling barriers are fewer and the gap between developed and developing countries is bigger and bigger.

 

 

I am definitely searching for a better job, house, community and even climate. I have already moved from my hometown to the capital for studying and in search of a good job. In the capital I have moved twice, as first I was closer to school and now I am closer to the working place.

 

Further more, I am young and full of energy and that supports me a lot. I don't have any kind of commitments, I am the independent type and I am ambitious. It depends much on the person's character. For example, my sister is the opposite of me. She wouldn't leave her hometown. I have tried to convince her in moving in with me.

 

Among the advantages of moving from place to place is that you make all the time new friends, you gain life experience, you enrich your personality, you can make your dreams come true, you don't live with the feeling that you should change something in your life (which by the way is frustrating), you discover many new things about you and so on.

 

Finally, I would like to say that from my experience up to now I haven't found a major dezavantage to moving from one place to another. I leave with the idea that if you were born in one place, it is not necessary to work and set up a family in the same place. You should always search the best place for you.

 

 

 

I have tried, as I was recommended, to compose a bigger essay. This took me more than a half an hour (without grammatical correction!). Usually, as I write ideas come gradually and I come back to what I wrote and change (that takes me time). The good ideas don't come from the first place. And I have to recognize that I have some vocabulary problems (for example, I stop and think how a word is correctly written). I suppose I have to exercise, isn't it? :(

 

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Originally posted by linus

 

Some people spend their entire lives in one place. Others move a number of times throughout their lives. In my opinion however, I would prefer to stick with the second option .... be free as a bird. It does not necessarily imply that I prefer to live the life of a vagabond but here in this essay, I shall highlight the reasons for me going with the second option.

 

I am a final year Computer Engineering student from India. As far as I can see my career options, I have two avenues open for me. The first one, of course, is to graduate and be employed in a software company in the position of a systems analyst. The second one, on the other hand, is to continue with my studies and end up doing a Ph.D.

 

Considering the first option, let us not hesitate to acknowledge the fact that jobs in the Information Technology industry are highly location independent. Most of the software companies thrive on doing consultancy, which is essentially helping out the clients to automate their way of doing business. The Indian IT industry deals with clients based both domestically as well as internationally. Therefore, an Indian software professional shouldn't be surprised if he/she is recruited domestically and be translocated to Silicon Valley the following year. So the first point essentially deals with migration from one place to another because of job constraints.

 

Alternatively, if I continue with my studies and end up doing Research and Development work in the R&D sector, I will have to get a doctorate degree from a respectable university. Infact, that is my purpose of appearing for GRE and TOEFL examinations. I would ideally love to get my Ph.D. degree from a university in the United States, which has a strong infrastructure and reputation in my area of interest and specialization. If I finally succeed in securing admission at an American University, I'll have to move out of my current place.

 

It has been generally observed that people want to go to the US primarily for three reasons. Their first priority is the quality of life they would get in the US. They expect that the standard of living will improve if they move to America. A close second is the financial factor. But in these recent years, it has been observed that multinational companies offer an "International Standard salary". So the salary earned by a professional based outside the US is, if not more, very much comparable to the American average salary. A distant third preference is to avail the American technology. Unlike here in India, almost every University in the United States is equipped with an infrastructure that facilitates very high end research. In my case however, I put my priority on the last point.

 

Thus, we see that employment and educational requirements might force educated urban professionals to shift locations irrespective of their own wish. Under these circumstances, there is no scope for any home sick individual to make significant progress in life. A person will always underachieve if he is not flexible enough to adapt to changing environments and requirements. Fortunately though, I am adaptable to changing environments and not home sick. Hence, I would like to live the life of an explorer.

 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pls evalutate my essay ...

 

With regards,

Linus

 

Your grammar and vocabulary are good.!....Much better than me:o

I feel this is not Essay supporting Toefl topic#031. It is your introduction letter or you narrate us your opportunity to live internationally.

 

Paragraph 1 and 2 are introduction, while 3, 4 and 5 are body paragraphs, I think, but I cannot find any topic sentence of each paras. The last ought to be the conclusion but I feel it's not.

 

Those are my feeling.

 

I think you have reasons supporting this essay but you didn't show directly and clearly (or you did but I am too stupid.:().

 

That's all for now. ...

Sincerely---Noon

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Sawasdee kaa!:D

Originally posted by ciquita0

Today, people migrating from one country to another or from one continent to another is a common thing as(because) transportantion means that have greatly developed. Travelling barriers are fewer and(while) the gap between developed and developing countries is bigger (and bigger).

 

State what side you choose in introduction.

'Biger and biger', I always see this writting style in novels, short stories or magazines but have never seen in textbooks, journals or articles. So, I am not sure it is aceptable in formal writting.[|)]

 

I am definitely searching for a better job, house, community and even climate. I have already moved from my hometown to the capital for studying and in search of a good job. In the capital I have moved twice, as first I was closer to school and now I am closer to the working place.

 

I think your topic sentence of this paragraph is 'I am definitely searching for a better job, house, community and even climate.' but it does not relate to all information left. You should show some example supporting the topic sentence.

 

Further more, I am young and full of energy and that supports me a lot. I don't have any kind of commitments, I am the independent type and I am ambitious. It depends much on the person's character. For example, my sister is the opposite of me. She wouldn't leave her hometown. I have tried to convince her in moving in with me.

 

You must perform us a reason to support your decision, moving in search of another place. You say what kind of person you and your sister are, how does it relate to moving place? and so what? Show examples in dept.

 

Among the advantages of moving from place to place is that you make all the time new friends, you gain life experience, you enrich your personality, you can make your dreams come true, you don't live with the feeling that you should change something in your life (which by the way is frustrating), you discover many new things about you and so on.

 

This paragraph contains only one sentence! (it's not wrong) Do you know, all the advantages you show are able to be separated and arranged to 'Topic sentences of this essay' Find out 2-3 major advantages for you and then make them be topic sentences.

For example;

 

In body paragraph 1: I can make new friends and discover many new things everyplace I live.

In body paragraph 2: I don't live with the feeling that I should change something in my life and I can make my dreams come true.

In body paragraph 3: I gain more life experience and enrich my personality (I don't understand how changing living places can improve personality though.)

 

O.k. now we have 3 topic sentences for 3 body paragraphs. :D

All body paragraphs require EXAMPLE(s) Example(s) have to support the topic sentence.

Can you present me why you think these are advantages from moving place?

 

Finally, I would like to say that from my experience up to now I haven't found a major dezisadvantage to movinge from one place to another. I leave with the idea that if you were born in one place, it is not necessary to work and set up a family in the same place. You should always search the best place for you.

 

I am running off idea.[V]

 

All in all, the topic ask you 'Which do you prefer' not others. You ought say I, I ,I and I not You, you and you in your essay. Erin have shown us an example about this mistake, have you ever read it? It might be somewhere in this forum or Essay discussion.

 

Any doubts, post them here

Noon:)

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Hi!

This is my essay. I am not satisfied with it but i want to expose all my weak points so your help will be more efficent.

 

 

 

In our society, we have two choices : spending entire life in one place or moving around in search for another place. Each of them has its own advantages and disadvantages. In my opinion, I prefer the second choice: moving around.

 

Firstly, living in one place for life is very boring. Everyday, we come back the same place after work and see the same neighbor. We have little chance to discover new things and people. And sometimes our surrounding environment are not good, why we do not find a better one. For example, my older sister used to live in an area having high criminal rate but she was very lazy to change. I persuaded her to move and now she is now happy with her new place because everything is much better.

 

Secondly, moving to search to another place may bring ones successes. I have a friend who used to have a good job in Vietnam but he was never satisfied with it, he always tried to find a better one. Now he is working for a big company in US where he gets a lot of successes, because the company gives its employees the best and he has more chances to learn, work with leading experts in his field and get promotion.

 

Moreover, moving around helps us to enrich our life experience. We contact with many kind of people, work different jobs and deal different situations, these help us a lot in broadening our knowledge and we can adapt quickly to the change of society. If one stays in a place for life, he is like a fish in a small pond and may face a lot of difficulties to adapt to new environment if he has to because nobody knows what will happen in the future.

 

All in all, people should move to search for betterment for their life. It is the best way not to be left behind in our changing world.

 

 

Your comments are warmly welcome. Thanks a lot.:)

 

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Tho,

 

Your essays is quite good. I can't really find any major flaws with structure and organisation. However, there are few places where your usage of English is, well, not quite right. I'll correct them for you. I advise you write more essays, because you have got the basics right, and all you need is to hone your skills.

 

Good Luck

AmigoRo

 

In our society, we have two choices : spending entire life in one place or moving around in search for another place.

This makes it sound as if we have only two choices in life. What you mean to say is that chosing between staying put and moving about is an important decision one has to make in one's life.

 

 

 

And sometimes our surrounding environment are not good, why we do not find a better one.

Environment is singular. Please the term

surrounding environment
is a redundancy.

 

For example, my older sister used to live in an area having high criminal rate but she was very lazy to change.

 

Crime rate, not criminal rate.

 

Now he is working for a big company in US where he gets a lot of successes, because the company gives its employees the best and he has more chances to learn, work with leading experts in his field and get promotion.

 

You don't get success. You have success. Usually, you don't refer to success as a prural. There are instances when you have to, but I can't think of one off the top of my head.

 

Moreover, moving around helps us to enrich our life experience. We contact with many kind of people, work different jobs and deal different situations, these help us a lot in broadening our knowledge and we can adapt quickly to the change of society.

 

I think you mean to say we come into contact.

 

If one stays in a place for life, he is like a fish in a small pond and may face a lot of difficulties to adapt to new environment if he has to because nobody knows what will happen in the future.

 

Please use the article with environment.

 

All in all, people should move to search for betterment for their life. It is the best way not to be left behind in our changing world.

 

Your summary is satisfactory, but maybe a tad too short.

 

There you go. That's my analysis of your essay.

 

HTH

AmigoRo

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Tho,

This is second time I see 'success' in prural form ([xx(]success + es[xx(]) in your essay.

I wanna tell you that 'success' is an un-countable noun.

Now, I know you get it!;)

 

I am too busy to edit your essay but I keep eyes on your essay. ;)

 

Noon

 

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Originally posted by Tho

 

Thanks a lot, AmigoRo, Atnoon and Erin.

Hope to get your help next time.

Have a nice day!:)

 

 

Came up a with a sentence that uses success as a count noun:

 

"Despite her recent successes, Eve's life was beset with failures in the past."

 

HTH

AmigoRo

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Came up with an even more pertinent example:

 

"Despite his earlier successes, director Shyamalan's recent productions were deemed major failures".

 

Here successes refer to films, i.e, succesful films. Because we are talking about individual films, we refer to them as successes. However, if I were to talk about his career, I would say

 

"Despite his initial success, all Signs are that Shayamalan's directing career is heading southwards."

 

Clear ?

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  • 3 months later...
Some people spend their entire lives in one place. Others move a number of times throughout their lives, looking for a better job, house, community, or even climate. Which do you prefer: staying in one place or moving in search of another place? Use reasons and specific examples to support your opinion.

 

Some people prefer to spend their whole lives in only one place because they do not like to adapt themselves to new environment and new people. However, other think that moving to many places to find many new communities, to learn many people’s characters and to work in various kind of jobs cause their lives much more precious. In my view, I prefer to relocate to everywhere I want in order to learn any new things in each place and to find out what I really want in my life.

 

Moving to many places thought out our lives allows us to learn many things we exposed ourselves to. It is human behavior to eagerly want to learn about history of any places we are living. Therefore, moving to many places can broaden our knowledge about the places we used to stay or we are living. Moreover, moving to new place is the way to expose ourselves to new group of people. We can not only have a large number of friends but also learn the character difference from every people we know. Furthermore, moving in search of a better job allow us to find ourselves. Even through someone choose to endure their tiresome works; I prefer to search the job that is the most suitable for me because I believe that good work can be done only when we really love in what we are doing.

 

Moreover, moving to many places allows us to find something we really need in our lives. If we do not allow ourselves to learn the new things, we will never know what our lives really need and then we will never reach the ultimate happiness in the lives. For example, if we do not try to move from one place to another, we will not be able to learn both advantages and disadvantages of the new place. If we never changed the job, we will never get the change to know other group of colleagues and to work on the new responsibility which we may like it. Therefore, allowing the new things to come to our lives is the best way to find out ourselves and to know what we really need in our lives.

 

In conclusion, I love the changes. Even through we have to spend some time to assimilate ourselves to the new changes, we can learn many things from new environment and this is also the best method to discover ourselves.

 

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  • 1 month later...

Hi, everyone.

I have troubled in composing this essay.

I hope more people evaluate my essay.

 

Some people spend their entire lives in one place. Others move a number of times throughout their lives, looking for a better job, house, community, or even climate. Which do you prefer: staying in one place or moving in search of another place? Use reasons and specific examples to support your opinion.

 

Both attitudes have its advantages and disadvantages. Settlement in one place more likely offers stability, on the other hand, frequent moving bring excitement to us. Personally, I prefer a firm to unsettled life; therefore I would like to live in a fixed place.

 

A new place can provide more opportunities to encounter something novel, which I have found exciting. I, for instance, like to talk to strangers because they have impressed me with their interesting ideas, some of which have found rooted in me, and eventually have partly altered my perspectives. Such invaluable experiences can come more in a fresh than a familiar place. However, so frequent changes in living place generally are followed by financial hardships; not only does moving itself cost a great deal, but steady incomes are hard to secure.

 

In contrast, living through in the same place means that, in most cases, we can contact with limited numbers of people, see the almost invariable scenery, continue routine work. It will surely dull for most, and so have been I, too, living nearly in one region. However, I still prefer to remain in one place for the reason of the stability in finance and peace of mind it brings. While I have come to terms with such monotonous environments, I have established a more financially settled life as time has passed on, which I believe I have acquired thanks to staying in one place.

 

By comparison, though moving place after place can give us priceless experiences more than remaining in one place, it can tend to be unstable. Because I lay more importance in my life on the steadiness, I like life in one place better than in many places.

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I am Parisa. Please read this essay and evaluate it.

Thanks alot

This is my second essay

 

 

Some people spend their entire lives in one place. Others move a number of times throughout their lives, looking for a better job, house, community, or even climate. Which do you prefer: staying in one place or moving in search of another place? Use reasons and specific examples to support your opinion.

Some people like to have a quite life, but some are adventurous, they like to get familiar with other places in the world, and learn something a bout other cultures, and also for some peaple climate is very important, forexample they perefer to live somewhere that it is sunny most of the time, but for some people having a good job is very important, and they don't care about anything else like climate or cultures and etc.

 

I don't like moving in search of another place for living because it spends time and energy to get familiar with a new place, especially when you are old it is very hard. Pleople usually get used to the place where they live and they like it, when you live in place for a long time you can make many freinds, you get used to live with that culture. I like to get familiar with other cultures and visit other countries in the world, but it is good if you can go there for travel and just visiting, and not for

living.

In conclusion, I myself don't like moving alot for finding better place to live, I believe if you like the place where you live in, you can enjoy it, and make your life in such a way that you never feel you need to move.

 

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  • 2 months later...
Originally posted by Erin Billy

 

Some people spend their entire lives in one place. Others move a number of times throughout their lives, looking for a better job, house, community, or even climate. Which do you prefer: staying in one place or moving in search of another place? Use reasons and specific examples to support your opinion.

 

Something is wrong with this essay of mine..maybe is out of topic..please help me..:)

 

There are many reasons for which people move throughout the years. Not everybody is lucky enough to find the perfect place to live, which he can call home. Therefore, we are forced to take the decision of moving because of several circumstances in our lives, which I will further present.

 

Firstly, people take the decision of moving in their best economic interest. For example, I moved from my hometown because I could not find a job suitable with my preparation and my career goals. But I have to say that I really did strive to find a good job in my city, because I did not wanted to leave behind my friends and family. However, when I saw that I had no chance of succeeding in finding the job of my dreams I have placed a curriculum on a specialized web site and within a month I have found the right job for me in a bigger town nearby.

 

Secondly, moving can be a decision based on medical counseling. For instance, I live in a temperate climate, but lately because of the earth's pollution the winters and the summers have become unbearable, in terms of temperatures, to the people with heart conditions. Therefore, my parents and I moved out when the doctor explained us that it is in our best interest to do so.

 

Personally, I consider that people make the decision of moving based on several important factors. I do not think that anybody chooses to move based on trivial factors like getting bored of one place, or something else of this kind, and leave behind their friends and families and endure the painful and time consuming process of moving only for the sake of it.

 

To sum up, usually people move because of their poor economical condition, because of their health condition, or for example, because they must attend a friend in need. All in all, I think that everybody enjoys having a place to call home where he can spend quality time with friends and family.

 

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Hi all!

I'm going to take the Toefl exam in the near day. So I have to practise writing skill more, because my writing is very bad. I pick up a random a topic, and write it now

any comments are welcome :)

 

Topic: Some people spend their entire lives in one place. Others move a number of times throughout their lives, looking for a better job, house, community, or even climate. Which do you prefer: staying in one place or moving in search of another place? Use reasons and specific examples to support your opinion.

 

I will try my first essay in 30 minutes!!! (exactly time)

Essay

 

Some people spend their entire lives in one place. Other move a number of times throughout their lives, looking for better job, house, community, or even climate. For me, I prefer staying in one place than moving in search of another place. I will show you my opinion now

First, I think that work of each person is different, and it strongly influences to his or her hobby caused to prefer staying in one place or moving in search of another place. With involving to the computer, I do all my work with it and spend all my fun, for examle: playing games, reading news, finding documents or coding programs. So, I rarely go out except the important reasons that I have to do. And it's also idea I mention here, I prefer staying in one place and speding all my fun in one place than loosing time for searching another place without real result.

Second, I mean that traveling somewhere to look for a new job, house, community or even climate is also good if you really have time. I don't want to try a new job why my job is good, eventhough it's perfect for me for everything, such as: salary, work conditions or environment competitions. And especially, I don't want to have a change in my life. :yuck:

In general, both staying and moving are good for people, but as the reasons I showed above, I believe that you will agree with me that staying in one place is better :o

 

 

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Hi People ...this is the first time i am going to write an essay.. i have not done any preparations and i am just giving a try..

Erin or anyone else.. please do evaluate my essay and list out the mistakes

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Some people prefer to stay on one place their entire life while others like me prefer to move to new places in search of greener pastures.

 

Migration to new places has been happening across many cultures and countries for a long time. For example in India , many people have migrated from villages to cities in search of work and good life.

 

In Europe, during the industrial period may people had moved from villages to industrial townships, where they can find work and earn more money.

 

In China , once the economy started opening up to foreign investors, many people started to migrate from village to cities which were developing industries and other building new houses.

 

My dad being in the Indian Airforce had posting to many different places and i got to see a lot of people and learned a lot of things from these new places.

In my opinion when a student moves to new place to study in the college of his choice, I would not consider that as a change but rather an chance for him to improve his career prospect.A worker or any other skilled person might migrate to a new place where he could apply his skills and talents and inturn rise his standard of living.

 

Migrating to new places and making changes to ones life has it own advantages and pitfalls.

 

The Advantages being, He can earn more than what he used to, He can lead a better life, get to interact with other people,provide his son/daughter with better educational opportunities which may not have been available in his previous place he stayed.

 

the pitfalls being, Loss of ones cultural identity, May be away from his or her parents,the alterations in his lifestyle might affect his /her health.

 

In my opinion i strongly feel that changes that occur , when he moves to a new place or moves to a new job is a must to ones life, if he / she plans to lead a better and happy life.

 

 

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Some people prefer to stay on one place their entire life while others like me prefer to move to new places in search of greener pastures.

Your intro has 1 sent only, too short.

Migration to new places has been happening across many cultures and countries for a long time. For example in India , many people have migrated from villages to cities in search of work and good life.

 

In Europe, during the industrial period (revolution) may many people had moved from villages to industrial townships, where they can could find work and earn more money.

 

In China , once the economy started opening up to foreign investors, many people started to migrate from village to cities which (What does which refer to?) were developing industries and other building new houses. (many migrant villagers went to the cities, which are more develped and have some nascent industris, to seek jobs, like factory workers and builders.)

 

My dad being in the Indian Airforce had posting to many different places and i got to see a lot of people and learned a lot of things from these new places.

In my opinion when a student moves to new place to study in the college of his choice, I would not consider that as a change but rather an a chance for him to improve his career prospect.A worker or any other skilled person might migrate to a new place where he could apply his skills and talents and inturn rise (raise should be used, rise is never followed by a noun, eg, the sun rises) his standard of living.

 

Migrating to new places and making changes to ones one's life has it its own advantages and pitfalls.

 

The Advantages being, He can earn more than what he used to, He can lead a better life, get to interact with other people,provide his son/daughter with better educational opportunities which may not have been available in his previous place he stayed. (Should be combined with the previous para. and it is informal in language.) (Migrating to new places sometimes bring a lot of advantages and pitfalls. For instance, United States is one of the favorite places for migrants. It offers better education and legal system, which allows fair competition. People there can also enjoy freedom of speech. In addition, the offsprings of the migrants can be grown up in a better place than their hometown.)

 

the pitfalls being, Loss of ones cultural identity, May be away from his or her parents,the alterations in his lifestyle might affect his /her health.

(Combine with the previous para., : On the contrary, migrants may lose their cultural identity.....)

In my opinion i strongly feel that changes that occur , when he moves to a new place or moves to a new job (Lacking subject) is a must to ones life, if he / she plans to lead a better and happy life.

(In my opinion, if a person plans to lead a better and happy life, it is a must for them to move to a new living or working place.)

You need to work on paragraphing. Each para. should have a stance, eg. Migration is beneficial to our offspring......then give out examples, say the education system of my country is not perfect and US provides an excellent education system, etc.

Try to elaborate ur idea a little bit more. Say, in the 2nd para., u can cite a point that there are many reasons for such mobilization. For example, in Europe.......... In china,.........Some are forced to leave while others want to seek a better environment.

 

Also, ur intro. should be at least 2-3 sent. which summarize what your general idea is.

 

U hv a lot of typos and grammatical mistakes which may lower your marks.

 

Hope this helps!

Some people prefer to stay on one place their entire life while others like me prefer to move to new places in search of greener pastures.

Your intro has 1 sent only, too short.

Migration to new places has been happening across many cultures and countries for a long time. For example in India , many people have migrated from villages to cities in search of work and good life.

 

In Europe, during the industrial period (revolution) may many people had moved from villages to industrial townships, where they can could find work and earn more money.

 

In China , once the economy started opening up to foreign investors, many people started to migrate from village to cities which (What does which refer to?) were developing industries and other building new houses. (many migrant villagers went to the cities, which are more develped and have some nascent industris, to seek jobs, like factory workers and builders.)

 

My dad being in the Indian Airforce had posting to many different places and i got to see a lot of people and learned a lot of things from these new places.

In my opinion when a student moves to new place to study in the college of his choice, I would not consider that as a change but rather an a chance for him to improve his career prospect.A worker or any other skilled person might migrate to a new place where he could apply his skills and talents and inturn rise (raise should be used, rise is never followed by a noun, eg, the sun rises) his standard of living.

 

Migrating to new places and making changes to ones one's life has it its own advantages and pitfalls.

 

The Advantages being, He can earn more than what he used to, He can lead a better life, get to interact with other people,provide his son/daughter with better educational opportunities which may not have been available in his previous place he stayed. (Should be combined with the previous para. and it is informal in language.) (Migrating to new places sometimes bring a lot of advantages and pitfalls. For instance, United States is one of the favorite places for migrants. It offers better education and legal system, which allows fair competition. People there can also enjoy freedom of speech. In addition, the offsprings of the migrants can be grown up in a better place than their hometown.)

 

the pitfalls being, Loss of ones cultural identity, May be away from his or her parents,the alterations in his lifestyle might affect his /her health.

(Combine with the previous para., : On the contrary, migrants may lose their cultural identity.....)

In my opinion i strongly feel that changes that occur , when he moves to a new place or moves to a new job (Lacking subject) is a must to ones life, if he / she plans to lead a better and happy life.

(In my opinion, if a person plans to lead a better and happy life, it is a must for them to move to a new living or working place.)

You need to work on paragraphing. Each para. should have a stance, eg. Migration is beneficial to our offspring......then give out examples, say the education system of my country is not perfect and US provides an excellent education system, etc.

Try to elaborate ur idea a little bit more. Say, in the 2nd para., u can cite a point that there are many reasons for such mobilization. For example, in Europe.......... In china,.........Some are forced to leave while others want to seek a better environment.

 

Also, ur intro. should be at least 2-3 sent. which summarize what your general idea is.

 

U hv a lot of typos and grammatical mistakes which may lower your marks.

 

Hope this helps!

 

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hi,

please comment on my essay.

 

# 31 Some people spend their entire lives in one place. Others move a number of times throughout their lives, looking for a better job, house, community, or even climate. Which do you prefer: staying in one place or moving in search of another place? Use reasons and specific examples to support your opinion.

 

Some people spend their entire lives in one place. They don't like to adopt themselves to new place. In my opinion, by moving to many new places looking for a better job, house, community or even climate, one would gain experinece to lead life in any stiuation and adopting to new enviroment. Both as its own advantages and disadvantages.

 

Firstly, moving to new place, one will know about many things like about people, culture and life style and so on. New place can provide good opportunities like job, good schooling for children. For exmaple, In USA and Canada minimum education for children is provided by goveronment by providing schools. In Canada health insurance is taken care by goveronment, one need not pay for the visit to the doctor.

 

Secondly, one will know where they stand in international standards like in education or job. For example, masters in commerces is considered as highest degree in my home town. But the same degree is regarded as under graduate level, when it is compared to USA degree. So, by moving place to place I will know, what is my qualification and knowledge. It will not be like "frog in a well".

 

There fore, based on the above reasons, I strongly prefer, moving from place to place is a great experience over staying at one place. People can learn many things from their lives and also adopt to any stiuation.

 

 

 

 

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