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Hi...please score my essay


rachana

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Some people think that it is better for children to grow up in countryside because countryside is more secure for children, while some people think that it is better for children to grow up in big city. These both aspects have advantages and disadvantages. In my opinion it is far better for children to grow up in big city because it offers more choices in education, facilities and fun activities.

 

Most of us agree that education is crucial part of our life. There are plenty of choices for school in the big city. Parent has many options to choose school for their children. On the contrary, countryside has only one neighborhood school. So parent doesn’t have any options though the school may not be good for education.

 

Second point is big city has many facilities in the sense of transportation, physical activities, entertainment.

 

Big city has many means of transportation like bus, taxi, cars, and bicycles. So it is always easier to go from one place to the other place in the city. Other thing is city offers many extracurricular activities in arts, music, dance, sports, and hobby clubs. So children can do many other activities besides study.

 

The last point is technologically big cities are more developed than villages. They have good services at hospitals. Hospitals are also equipped with modern technology. The phone and internet services are better in cities than in villages. So children can get used to new technology easily. Big city has many entertainment centers for children as movie theaters, playing parks, zoo, museums, restaurants and so on.

 

On the basis of above points I think it is better to grow up children in the big city because children are more benefited in the big cities and it is also better for their future.

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Some people think that it is better for children to grow up in countryside because countryside is more secure for children, while some people think that it is better for children to grow up in big city. These both aspects have advantages and disadvantages. In my opinion it is far better for children to grow up in big city because it offers more choices in education, facilities and fun activities.

 

Most of us agree that education is crucial part of our life. There are plenty of choices for school in the big city. Parent has many options to choose school for their children. On the contrary, countryside has only one neighborhood school. So parent doesn’t ( ONLY SINGLE PARENT?) have any options though the school may not be good for education.

 

Second point is big city has many facilities in the sense of transportation, physical activities, entertainment.

 

Big city has many means of transportation like bus, taxi, cars, and bicycles. So it is always easier to go from one place to the other place in the city. Other thing is city offers many extracurricular activities in arts, music, dance, sports, and hobby clubs. So children can do many other activities besides study.

 

The last point is technologically big cities are more developed than villages. They have good services at hospitals. Hospitals are also equipped with modern technology.( Not relevant.....or give a connection ) The phone and internet services are better in cities than in villages. So children can get used to new technology easily.( Good point) Big city has many entertainment centers for children as movie theaters, playing parks, zoo, museums, restaurants and so on.

 

On the basis of above points I think it is better to grow up children in the big city because children are more benefited in the big cities and it is also better for their future.

Rating: 3.5 - 4.0

Comments:

1. Pool in some more ideas.

2. I have cut marks for highlighted portion of your essay.

Reason: Sentence construction is wrong.

3. Summarize your essay through conclusion. In conclusion you can state that big cities give exposure to children via technologies available.

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