last one(please rate my writing)

[sbky]

Q>Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? One should never judge a person by external appearances. Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.



It has long been a controversy whether person should be never determined by external appearances or not. I think, however, that it is really wrong method to determine person by observing appearances. If we do that, we can not know the importance of internal personality, be easily falling into materialism, and be apt to prejudice.

To begin with, when it comes to prejudice, it has a large danger since it can pin our thought. Research suggests that the one who has the prejudice about person, especially appearance is 2 times more possible to happen to big mistake such as accident cheated by swindler than normal case. From this reason, it is not definitely necessary to have prejudice to judge by external image.

In addition to prejudice, another weak point is easily falling into materialism. It means that we make mistake that we can do everything by money or property. In my thought, this is the one of the tremendous problem in modern society. I believe that there are many things which can not buy by money. For instance, happiness, satisfaction and love exist. Therefore, since this materialism result from wrong judgment, we eliminate this kind of habit as soon as possible.

Of the reasons that we should remove this wrong habit, it is the most serious that we can ignore the importance of internal personality. A number of people already notice that internal beauty is theoretically more critical than external that.. There, however, are few people who have their heart set. As a result, it can cause serious phenomena to spoil all over the world. Hence, we should not have this kind of criteria in treating people.

As shown above, I consent that when we meet someone, we don not externally have to determine because there are too many drawbacks : prejudice, materialism and ignoring of characteristics.

[awhig]

Rating 3.5 - 4.0
1. Ideas are good but improperly expressed.
2. Mistakes in general language spotted at many places.
3. Do not use "I consent" in conclusion. Modify it to "I agree" or "I support" .