topic:sometimes people prefer to spend their times alone ,some people prefer to spend

[acar]

topic:sometimes people prefer to spend their times alone ,some people prefer to spend their times with their friend which of them you prefer.support and give examples.

 

It is undeniable fact that people have different characteristics , talents , purpose etc .This special things can change people’s preference .According to me , spend my times with my friends is necessary .What’s more it is more beneficial and than other one .

 

To begin with, if you want to play group activities it is neccessary to find several friend to play With.It is imposible that play it alone.For example you can playing basketball on condition of find a people who will do it .Othervise you haven’t got people that competit or assist you .

 

Next , I notice that people who usually spend thier time with thier friends are

more contractor , active and adaptable than others .They prefer rather than other in every where .For example my adaptation ability helped me when I first started my job .my company had looked my adaptation among people in my first two months . After this they explained me accommodation was important for them and for company.

 

To summarize my choice has enough reason to select it.eventhought people sometimes want to be alone I usually choose pass leisure with my friends

 

 

 

Awhig ,maybe you didn't see my message that i write in other topic . so i write this here .can u look at this writing ?

[Vaya]

Hi,

 

1. it's too short. You should add the 3rd body para and expand the others a bit too.

2. PUNCTUATION!!!! Know the basic punctuation rule:

 

 

 

word - punctuation mark - space - new word

Examples:

I, Marie, Tom, and John are good friends. Do you know? What a beautiful day! And so on. GOOD :)

I , Marie ,Tom,and John are good friends.Do you know ?What a beautiful day ! And so on. BAD :(

3. You have some grammar problems. But your sentences are pretty simple (that's good because this way you avaoid some real complex grammar issues).

4. It's very good that you use transition words (to summarize, etc.)

5. Need work more: practice, practice & practise.

 

Good luck!

Renata

[awhig]

topic:sometimes people prefer to spend their times alone ,some people prefer to spend their times with their friend which of them you prefer.support and give examples.

 

It is undeniable fact that people have different characteristics , talents , purpose etc [Do not include this.Either stop the sentence or be specific].This["These"] special things ["traits"/"characters"] can change people’s preference .According to me , spending [insert "ing"] my times with my friends is necessary .What’s more it is more beneficial and than other one . [??...not clear]**

 

[starting is OK,flow is not proper,see comment#1 for explaination]

To begin with, if you want to play [particiapte in] group activities,[inset comma] it is neccessary to find several friends to play With.It is imposible [spelling error] that play it alone [improper].For example you can playing [tense error] basketball on condition of find a people who will do it [not clear. Improper] .Othervise [spelling error] you haven’t got people that competit [incomplete word] or assist you . [This sentence is impoperly constructed]

[Point is not worth. You are deviating from topic. Instead explain the advantages associated with group participation.]

Next , I notice that people who usually spend thier time with thier friends are more contractor [??, you mean those who undertake construction work??] , active and adaptable than others [here you clicked].They prefer rather than other in every where [vague in meaning] .For example my adaptation ability [wrong] helped me when I first started my job .my company had looked my adaptation among people in my first two months [construction improper] . After this they explained me accommodation was important for them and for company. [What does this line mean?How is this connected with rest of the para?]**

To summarize my choice has enough reason to select it.eventhought people sometimes want to be alone I usually choose pass leisure with my friends

Score: 2.5

Comment:

**1. Flow broken at many places. Flow => starting and concluding sentence of each para must talk in same context. A flow is broken when reviwer is forced to look at your essay more than one times to decipher meaning. In other words, when ever you find any sentence with vague meaning, flow is broken.

Ex: Intro para last line is not clear.Simillarly, third para last line.

 

2. Second para is not worth.Watch out for comments in the end of that para .

 

3. Trivial errors of language usage rampant.

 

4. Practice and follow previous posts.

Awhig ,maybe you didn't see my message that i write in other topic . so i write this here .can u look at this writing ?

Which message are you talking about?

[acar]

i meant message with 04-07-2005 05:45 PM

by acar and it doesn't matter

thank vaya and awhig.

your advices really didactic