Hi, An Min
The overall impression is very good! Long but well organized. The most impressive one is that there is a great variety of vocabularies. It's difficult to locate a mistake, since I am not very sure about some of the sentence structures you have used.
How come you have made such an improvement?
I think you can score very high!
Please rate my essay. I can find some mistakes in grammar, punctuation and style but cannot (BTW is there a word hopelessness?) determine the overall rating. Thank you in advance.
It is one of the principles of games that usually one side wins and the other side loses. Even though defeat is not a pleasant experience I think that the sole participation in a game is fun. I think that it doesn't depend whether you win or not because you have fun during the game and not after the game.
I think that it is not the victory that makes a game interesting. I think that the competition which is present in many games makes a game exciting and interesting for all participants. If there is a competition in a game nobody can be sure who will win. Thus the side that will win is in the same situation as the side that will lose. It is obvious that players have fun during the game and not after the game. That is why I think that it is fun playing game for both sides.
Also sometimes a defeat seems like a victory. For example if one side achieved much during a game and was just not lucky then there is no joy for the winning side. Also sometimes even though one team wins over another team, the team that lost wins psychologically. Sometimes the lost side knows that it will win in next two or more games.
It is fun to participate in a game if there is a competition. But if there is no competition and it is clear which side will win the game is not interesting for both sides. Such situations occur in cases when one side is too strong. I agree that in this case it is not fun to lose, but it is not fun to win either.
Playing games is fun because there is a competition in games. That is why I think that the side that lost the game had as much fun as the side that won.