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plz rate my essay! topic #111


mersini

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TOPIC #111

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Friendship in our days is a value that is becoming extinct. Peoples’ lack of free time has locked them in their offices and afterwards in their houses. In addition, people have lost their trust in others because they know that, like they might have done in the past, double-crossing a friend in the name of winning or gaining something has become very common. So, having true friends is what counts. Friends who you can trust, who love you for what you are, care for you and think for you before you do.

 

 

 

A number of people prefer having few friends, one or two, instead of having a numbered company. And that is because they want to have good friends with them, and not just some people who they enjoy spending time with. They can depend on these good friends, because they know that they care about them. It goes without saying that we choose our friends according to some standards. To illustrate my point, we choose them because we like spending our time in the same way, we have the same interests or because we have alike beliefs.

 

 

 

On the other hand, there are people who like to hang out with a large number of friends. They believe that the more people they are with, the more fun they have. And this is based on the fact that in a numerous company there are many different kinds of characters, making friendship more interesting and more fun, because in this way it is more difficult to get borred. Among these friends you can always find someone to go out with when you have nothing to do.

 

 

 

According to my personal feelings and thoughts, both kinds of friendships are needed. Depending on your mood, you might want to spend time with many friends or enjoy the company of a few and good friends. But, it goes without saying that in the end good friendships are what counts; the one, two friends that will always be there when you need them, even if it is three o’clock in the morning! These are friendships which last forever!

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Topic 111:

Some people prefer to spend time with one or two close friends. Others choose to spend time with a large number of friends. Compare the advantages of each choice. Which of these two ways of spending time do you prefer? Use specific reasons to support your answer.

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TOPIC #111

 

["Today" ] Friendship in our days[cut this and put "today" as the first word] is a value that is becoming extinct. Peoples’ lack of free time has locked them in their offices and afterwards in their houses. In addition, people have lost their trust in others because they know that, like they might have done in the past, double-crossing a friend in the name of winning or gaining something has become very common. So, having true friends is what counts. Friends who you can trust, who love you for what you are, care for you and think for you before you do.

[ok....but the intro is off-topic iff not specified as the cause of prefereing few friends.The reason in the intro indicates that people prefere few friends.Hence the last line of the intro should be" that is why people tend to prefer few friends than keeping a circle of friends]

 

 

A number of people prefer having few friends, one or two, instead of having a numbered company [ a large circle/company]. And [sentences never start with conjunctions] that is because they want to have good friends["friendship"] with them, and not just some people who they enjoy spending time with. They can depend on these ["such"] good friends, because they know that they care about them. It goes without saying that [shorten this by substituting "Therefore"] we choose our ["our" specifies that it is only with you.] friends according to some standards. To illustrate my point, we choose them because we like spending our time in the same way, we have the same interests or because we have alike beliefs. [The standards can be clubbed as "Similar tastes"]

[ok...but where is the advantage of a small company of frineds????]

 

 

On the other hand, there are people who like to hang out with a large number of friends. They believe that the more people they are with, the more fun they have. And this is based on the fact that in a numerous company there are many different kinds of characters, making friendship more interesting and more fun, because in this way it is more difficult to get borred. Among these friends you can always find someone to go out with when you have nothing to do.

[fine]

 

According to my personal feelings and thoughts, both kinds of friendships are needed. Depending on your mood, you might want to spend time with many friends or enjoy the company of a few and good friends. But, it goes without saying that in the end good friendships are what counts; the one, two friends that will always be there when you need them, even if it is three o’clock in the morning! These are friendships which last forever!

[Take a stand.You can not have few friends and a large circle of friends at the same time.]

Score: 4.0 - 4.5

Comments:

1. Advantages of each side not highlighted properly. Look at the question first then form your essay accordingly. The advantages could be:

Large Company:-

a. More fun.

b. Good grooming.

c. Variety of friends.This way one interacts with a variety of people.

 

Small company:

a. Generally friends are trusted ones.

b. Secrets and views can be shared with ease.

c. Less money spent when giving treat to them :)

 

 

2. Language: Ok but need to control casual talk.

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thnx awhig,but I think that in the last four lines of my essay I am taking a stand.;) With all the other points you have mentioned, I will agree. Thnx again for your advice! :)

 

Fine. Sorry I could not notice it. Take that 4.5.

Good luck.

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