jigna Posted May 29, 2005 Share Posted May 29, 2005 Hello Erin & everybody, I have my toefl exam on july 2nd. I am upset as i got score of 153 to 217 in pp tests. I think i'm also not good in essay section. So i need your help to pass toefl successfuly. I post an essay here please rate my essay so i can know how much i have to work on essay sections Thanks in advance. Topic is Some people like to attend large university & some people like to attend small university. Which would u prefer? Why? There are many universities available for students to be graduated. Some students prefer to attend large university while some students prefer to attend small university. Both types of the universities have their own advantages & disadvantages. I mention them in following paragraphs. First of all I discuss about the advantages of small university. In small university, there are less number of studens so teachers are able to know all their students personally. As a result they can pay more attention toward their all students. Students are able to master their field with great support of their teachers. In small university all students may know each other so they get help from other students too. In short we can get very friendly atmosphere in small university. On the other hand, large university have lots of students so it is difficult for the teachers to pay attention to each & every students Even teachers are unable to know their all students personally. In large university students have to complete their courses by themselves. They have to find study material from library books & have to learn by their own. The large library is one of the advantage of large university as it has all kinds of book. Students can get almost all books of their need. In my point of view despite of many advantages of small university I prefer to attend large university. Because degree earned from the large university is more valuable than that earned from the small university. Students can get more job opportunities. & They get more wages. Not only the students of the large university are able to get rapid qualitative job but also they are able to be more indenpendent. So they have more self confidents. So for my better future i prefer to attend large university. As it make me independent, self confident & wealthy person. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manasi4gre Posted May 29, 2005 Share Posted May 29, 2005 pls post the essay in the appropriate TOEFL essays forum. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jigna Posted May 29, 2005 Author Share Posted May 29, 2005 I'm sorry. can u tell me how can i post this in essay section without typing it again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erin Posted May 29, 2005 Share Posted May 29, 2005 Moved. :) But I'm not sure that I'll have time to read it and rate it, I'm afraid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ethelstan Posted May 29, 2005 Share Posted May 29, 2005 Hello Erin & everybody, I have my toefl exam on july 2nd. I am upset as i got score of 153 to 217 in pp tests. I think i'm also not good in essay section. So i need your help to pass toefl successfuly. I post an essay here please rate my essay so i can know how much i have to work on essay sections Thanks in advance. Topic is Some people like to attend large university & some people like to attend small university. Which would u prefer? Why? There are many universities available for students to be graduated. Some students prefer to attend large university while some students prefer to attend small university. Both types of the universities have their own advantages & disadvantages. I mention them in following paragraphs. Introducton paragraph is insufficiently established. You are not stating your opinion; remember that stating your opinion is very important establish a very clear essay and avoid being ambigious. You should mention. Given your ambigious introduction; it will drastically distort your essay quality as it will influence further on the organization, clarity and your ability to construct a meaningful summary and opinion in the conclusion. For introduction Choosing a University could be once in a lifetime opportunity that could be very frustating for University. As many new growing, and small education institutions grow, students are challenged to face more options which could bring more dillemma As for your thesis: "As a prospect undergraduate students, I see many opportunities in small university compared as they should have many clubs, small classess and definetly I will have better oppotunity to make life-long friends" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ethelstan Posted May 29, 2005 Share Posted May 29, 2005 as it has all kinds of book. Students can get almost all books of their need. In my point of view despite of many advantages of small university I prefer to attend large university. Because degree earned from the large university is more valuable than that earned from the small university. Students can get more job opportunities. & They get more wages. Not only the students of the large university are able to get rapid qualitative job but also they are able to be more indenpendent. So they have more self confidents. One my last comment about your essay is that, they are poorly established. "Because degree earned from the large university is more valuable than that earned from the samall university" How can they be more valuable. Remember that large university doesn't always mean Harvard, UCLA, Chicago, or whatever. As a contrast there are many small universities that are competitive as well. Yo are comparing and saying that being large is always good; while you can't even prove that. If you still belive that large University is reputable why don't u give some examples, without that its difficult to make such argument. And for your conclusion you say that going to large university will make you "wealthy" . It is not only vague but in my opinion it is irrelevant with your opinion. Even if you say that getting a job is easier after you are graduated from large university, it is difficult to connect how likely you can be wealthy even you got good quality job in the same time. I barely can follow your essay accordingly. There are so many invalid and missing ideas inside that either you need to clarify or delete them. I would rate this essay 3 - Demonstrates some developing competence in writing, but the essay remains flawed on either the rhetorical or syntactic level, or both. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jigna Posted May 30, 2005 Author Share Posted May 30, 2005 Thank u friend for rating my essay. now i am able to know how much i have to work for improving myself toward TWE. i take ur advice in concideration. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moonlight Posted May 30, 2005 Share Posted May 30, 2005 hi jigna first of all u have posted this essay nearly 3-4 times....so plz ask erin to remove the two thread u posted it in...... ok, commenting on your essay i think ethelstan has said much of it...... 1. u must work on introduction, keep it 4-5 lines short n in the last line mention what u would choose, given the two options... 2. try giving the general idea about the situation...like here in this case, say in this competitve world u need overall development so need place where u can get everything in one place like good faculty, library, infrastructure, state-of-art facilities, etc.... and all this u can get in good funded university (but this doesnot neccesarily mean that small universities dont have $$$, they may be more focused) 3. then put forward the point on which u disagree......why u disagree, try giving valid reasons like less of exposure, not much of competition, etc...... 4. put forth the point u support---> why u would choose the bid university, its advantages, 5. final para summarizes in one line (but different and better words) what u oppose n why and what u support n why.... * building up the vocabulary would help, in re-stating the same thing in different words....* hope this helps!!! all the best!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moonlight Posted May 30, 2005 Share Posted May 30, 2005 did u check this thread.....awesome advice!!!! http://www.www.urch.com/forums/showthread.php?t=12765 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jigna Posted May 30, 2005 Author Share Posted May 30, 2005 Thanks moonlight for giving me an good advise & also for such a nice thread. I promise next time i'll post my essay that include all these the best advise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jigna Posted May 30, 2005 Author Share Posted May 30, 2005 Hello Erin can u plz remove this thread? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moonlight Posted May 30, 2005 Share Posted May 30, 2005 hey u r welcome!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bibicall Posted June 2, 2005 Share Posted June 2, 2005 First of all .......In short we can get very friendly atmosphere in small university. On the other hand, .... Where is your "On the onr hand"????:hmm: You find out the usage about "on the one hand" and "on the other hand" first. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moonlight Posted June 2, 2005 Share Posted June 2, 2005 hey jigna wassup???? u seem to have disappeared, all of a sudden.....howz ur preparation going on???? best wishes!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erin Posted June 2, 2005 Share Posted June 2, 2005 Threads merged and title changed to something more descriptive. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moonlight Posted June 3, 2005 Share Posted June 3, 2005 thanx erin!!! hey jigna dont get these tests bog you down.....face it!!!! keep posting!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jigna Posted June 3, 2005 Author Share Posted June 3, 2005 Hello moonlight Of course i'm very upset for my essay performance & also for very poor performance in pp tests. But i'm keeping trying. I gave pp test for nearly 5 times. I show little improvement. I got score range of 187-247. First 2-3 time i got score range around 157-217 only. I give it again for several times until i get satisfation. I post a new essay right now. can u plz rate it? U r welcome to give suggestions. thankx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saraj Posted August 26, 2005 Share Posted August 26, 2005 Please evaluate this one. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ One of the most fundamental criterion for selecting a university is its size.Some students select universities that are big while others have a predilection for smaller universities.Both the universities have their distinct advantages and disadvantages and one must be acquainted with these facts before enrolling in an university. Bigger universities are generally highly ranked and they have more eminent faculty members.By taking admissions in such univerisites, students are able to utilize the expensive and sophisticated laboratory equipments and thus are able to better understand the subject.However, in such a large university, it is impossible to establish contact will all the professors and students and as a result one might not get the amount of attention which he/she recieves.The university campus may also be huge and as a result, students may easily be lost in vast areas and hence may be late for his/her classes. Smaller universities on the other hand, are relatively less famous.However, since the faculty members are also less, students are given more personalised attention. The teachers can identify the weak students and differenciate them from the genious ones, thereby giving them attention accordingly. The campus of a small university may be easy to navigate and as a result,students can reach their destinations on time. I would definitely like to pursue my education in a small university as I could establish a better acquaintance with my teachers in such a university.Since the number of courses offered in a smaller university would be less as compared to a big univerity,they would be taught by specialized teachers.The studies in a small university would be economical and I can easily make friends in such a univerisity.I could travel across the campus and locate the departments more easily.Such small universities generally have an ambience which is analogous to a large family. To conclude,the choice of selection of a university varies from one individual to another.Some are attracted to the grandeur of a big university while others, including me, prefer the close knit ambience of a smaller one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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