PLZ grade my essay,TKS-the most important characteristics of a successful person

[LouisLin]

In your opinion, what is the most important characteristic (for example, honesty, intelligence, a sense of humor) that a person can have to be successful in life? Use specific reasons and examples from your experience to explain your answer. When you write your answer, you are not limited to the examples listed in the question.

 

 

Everyone wants to be a prominent person and come to success in the present. So how to be a successful mogul is becoming a conspicuous issue which was discussed by everybody. The topic of most important characteristics leading to success can be approached from several angles due to its complexity. Some people think that loyalty is an important characteristic of a successful person, another people assume that honesty is an essential characteristic, however, the others regard that ambition is most important characteristic of a great man. I think that a successful person should correspond with the above three arguments. In the following contexts, I will verify why ingredients of success are composed of loyalty, honesty and ambition.

 

At the outset, people who are loyal to their friends and acquaintances will win respects from most of people. That is to say, people will trust us because of loyalties. For example, General George Catlett Marshall of U.S. who was loyal to his nation and devoted himself to serve his country won high tribute and appreciation from people in his country. As we know, he set out to create a foreign policy which was known as the Marshall Plan. The Marshall Plan would help all nations of Europe rebuild up after World War II .The Congress of the United States approved this act immediately and the Marshall Plan won wide support quickly from all over the world because they knew General Marshall was a trustworthy person. Finally, the Marshall Plan not only put Europe back on its feet and revived European nations’ economies but it also helped kill American isolationism.

 

Moreover, it is said that honesty is the best policy. People who are honest will acquire others reliance and win enough prestige. It will help us to develop good social relationships and make us be outstanding people. For instance, Bill Martin, the President of U.S. Olympic Committee (USOC), is full of the sense of integrity so that he can rescue USOC successfully. In the past time, USOC was a dysfunctional organization because it was beset by scandal after scandal. After Martin was inducted as the USOC president, he devoted himself to clean up this terrible mess. Because of his integrity, he redirected financial support directly to the athletes and took on the steroid scandal successfully. Consequently, he is known as an eminent person because of his honest feature.

 

Furthermore, people who are ambitious will always remain on the top of their careers. For example, Kate DiCamillo who is a famous children books’ author of U.S. came to success because of her ambitious characteristic and perseverance. Only a few years ago, she was a book picker and took a stack of rejection letters from publishers. But she never gave up and kept up a practice of writing everyday. One of her stories was accepted by a publisher called Candlewick Press eventually in 1998. According to the above example, we can realize that DiCamillo’s success is based on her ambition and persistence.

 

In accordance with the above arguments, I can come to my own conclusion that people who have these three important characteristics such as loyalty, honesty and ambition will be successful people in our society. If we could have the above three characteristics at the same time, I am confident to believe whatever tribulations we encounter, we will overcome all kinds of hardships and become great people.

[Chief Wiggum]

Louis, you are supposed to take the most important characteristic and write about it. You wrote about a combination of them.

Try to keep your essay smaller, so that you have more time to go back and correct errors you might have done.

[ish]

your examples are very good, and add a lot of credit to the essay loius.

Resolve the meaning of the topic though..im still not too sure whether you may write three..:hmm:

 

In your opinion, what is the most important characteristic (for example, honesty, intelligence, a sense of humor) that a person can have to be successful in life? Use specific reasons and examples from your experience to explain your answer. When you write your answer, you are not limited to the examples listed in the question.

 

 

 

Everyone wants to be a prominent person and come to success[be successful] in the present[somehoe "in the present" doesnt sound right. havent we tried to be successful always? so cut this, or modify it to something like "in present times.."]. So how to be a successful mogul is becoming a conspicuous issue which was discussed by everybody.[modify. "Most of us spend a lot of time discussing the ways by which we can attain success"..or something like that..keep it simple] The topic of most important characteristics[just as chief said, the topic seems to ask for THE most important one..] leading to success can be approached from several angles due to its complexity. Some people think that loyalty is an important characteristic of a successful person, another people assume that honesty is an essential characteristic, however, the others regard that ambition is most important characteristic of a great man. I think that a successful person should correspond with the above three arguments[?]. In the following contexts, I will verify why ingredients of success are composed of loyalty, honesty and ambition.

[i like the intro, but am doubtful whether you can start off with three qualities, like CW mentioned...maybe someone has more views here?]

 

At the outset, people who are loyal to their friends and acquaintances will win respects[respect] from most of[not needed] people. That is to say, people will trust us because of loyalties.[our loyalty/our loyal nature] For example, General George Catlett Marshall of U.S. who was loyal to his nation and devoted himself to serve his country won high tribute and appreciation from people in his country. As we know, he set out to create a foreign policy which was known as the Marshall Plan. The Marshall Plan would help all nations of Europe rebuild up[cut this word] after World War II .The Congress of the United States approved this act immediately and the Marshall Plan won wide support quickly from all over the world because they knew General Marshall was a trustworthy person. Finally, the Marshall Plan not only put Europe back on its feet and revived European nations’ economies but it also helped kill American isolationism.

 

Moreover, it is said that honesty is the best policy. People who are honest will acquire others reliance and win enough prestige. It will help us to develop good social relationships and make us be outstanding people. For instance, Bill Martin, the President of U.S. Olympic Committee (USOC), is full of the sense of integrity so that he can rescue USOC successfully[modify]. In the past time,[not needed] USOC was a dysfunctional organization because it was beset by scandal after scandal. After Martin was inducted as the USOC president, he devoted himself to clean up this terrible mess. Because of his integrity, he redirected financial support directly to the athletes and took on the steroid scandal successfully. Consequently, he is known as an eminent person because of his honest feature.[honesty]

 

Furthermore, people who are ambitious will always remain on the top of their careers. For example, Kate DiCamillo who is a famous children books’ author of U.S. came to success because of her ambitious characteristics and perseverance. Only a few years ago, she was a book picker and took[received would be a better choice] a stack of rejection letters from publishers. But she never gave up and kept up a practice of writing everyday. One of her stories was accepted by a publisher called Candlewick Press eventually in 1998. According to the above example, we can realize that DiCamillo’s success is based on her ambition and persistence.

 

In accordance with the above arguments, I can come to my own conclusion that people who have these three important characteristics such as loyalty, honesty and ambition will be successful people in our society. If we could have the above three characteristics at the same time, I am confident to believe whatever tribulations we encounter, we will overcome all kinds of hardships and become great people.

 

and your language and grammar are very good in this essay! keep up the good work! :)

[LouisLin]

Thanks,ISH.

I will do my best try another topic next time.

Thank you very much.....:)