PLS grade and correct my essay.

**Dipendra** · 07-06-2005, 06:37 PM

(Actually I am writing this essay second time. First time wrote it, it was very bad.But testmagic forum has helped me a lot in improving my essay writing. Thankyou.)

People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Over the years, University has been one of the essential part of our life. Different people have different reasons to attend university, however, I put down three main reasons I believe people attend university.

Firstly,we discover ourself in University. Not only, we learn about the world ,but we get to know ourself and our ability. As we get to meet people and interact with them in different fields, such as, in class, during examination time, and sports; we will have oppurtunity to learn to work in a group and communicate with others. We will discover what we are good at and work to improve.

University helps us in getting prepared for our career. Our goal in life is to have a good career and university drives us to our goal. We receive the education that will guide us in every step. We learn to be punctual, and develop working habit. To support this point, I give some examples, in university, we have do things in time, we have to be at class on time, do our assingments in time and have to work hard to get success. On the other hand, we learn to work in team; while doing project and during sports. Punctuality and hard working will help us in our career.

Finally, University can be the place where we can find people have interest similar to our and make new friends. People not only receive education but also have time to have some healty entertainment with people of their age. For example, parties, picnics, games.

In conclusion, University has been an essential part of our life ,and it helps us grow and achive our objective.

(Please correct any mistake, how much can I get on this essay)

**LouisLin** · 07-07-2005, 10:00 AM

comments:
1.The grobal structures in this essay is better than the before one.....

2.You have to improve your grammars and your word spellings.
3.You perform some sentences in this essay not well, try to write it fluently.
4.Your conclusion is a little bit short, try to make it bigger.
5.I guess this essay will score 4.0-4.5.

Originally Posted by Dipendra

(Actually I am writing this essay second time. First time wrote it, it was very bad.But testmagic forum has helped me a lot in improving my essay writing. Thankyou.)

People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Over the years, university[University] has been one of the essential part of our lives[life]. Different people have different reasons to attend university, however, there are the below three reasons that I think why people attend university.[I put down three main reasons I believe people attend university-not good].

Firstly,we can discover our abilities [ourself-unclear] in University. Not only[,]can we learn about the world information [world-abstract] ,but we can also [get to] know [ourself and] our abilities[ability]. [As]In addition, we can[get to] meet many people and interact with them in different fields, such as[,] in class, [during] examinations [time], and sports[;]. [we]We will have oppurtunities[y] to learn to work in a group and communicate with others. We will discover what we are good at and works we should improve[work to improve-I think above works we shoud improve need to polish]. [good point]

University helps us perpare[in getting prepared for] our careers. Universities can drive us on to achive our goals of our careers. [Our goals in life is to have a good career and university drives us to our goal-the above sentence is also not good]. We receive the expertise[the] via education systems that will guide us in every step. We learn to be punctual, and develop working habits. To support this point, I give some examples, in university, we have to do things in time[,]such as the fact that we have to be at class on time, do our assingments in time and have to work hard to get success. On the other hand, we learn to work in team; while doing project and during sports. Punctuality and hard working will help us in our career.[good point]

Finally, University is a[can be the] place where we can find people have interests similar to ours and help us make new friends. [cohesion break-you shoud use some phrase such as in addition, besides, moreover, furthermore to distinguish the above sentence from the below sentence. ]People not only absorb profession knowledge via universities education system,[receive education] but also have time to take part in[have some] healty entertainments with other people similar to or the same as[of] their ages. For example, parties, picnics, sport games.[ok]

In conclusion, University has been an essential part of our lives[life] ,and it helps us grow and achive our objectives.

(Please correct any mistake, how much can I get on this essay)

**Tatyana Tsaruk** · 07-07-2005, 11:42 AM

I think you have everething to write essays. Never give up and send more it's really interesting

To begin with, I must say that a self-confidence is based on different factors. First of all if you begin a new task you begin to analyze “ have I ever do something like this?” , if you did you begin to remember and with the help of this you have an experience of the following question.

But if you never touch something like this question? What should you do next? What is your next step?

On the second you have 2 choices:

1. to give up and say “the world is cruel and my possibilities are not enough to do this”

2. to think on the task and to analyze all pluses and minuses and to be ready to have difficulties

Try to imagine yourself if you had done the task. What are you feeling? If its really joy and happiness, you should begin to create your next step: to talk with people, whom you are interested in and to be ready to use all useful possibilities. But if you fell that after finishing you regret that you begin? You loose something very important : faith, friendship- this task is not for you.

I’m sure that intuition should help you and if you have a difficult decision try to listen to her and keep your eyes open to all signes of the world. And remember not the world creates you but you create the world.

For Ukrainian people self-confidence is very important now, especially after Orange revolution 2004. All people now have a choice to change the way of leaving , thinking and say that they are proud of leaving in a new society with the new democratic principals. I think that all people who believed in a new power of our country have a strong self-confidence not only in themselves but in each other.

As for me I’m very proud of being a citizen of Ukraine and I’ll do my best to show Ukraine in world society in a way I see her.

**awhig** · 07-07-2005, 01:40 PM

Originally Posted by Tatyana Tsaruk

I think you have everething to write essays. Never give up and send more it's really interesting

To begin with, I must say that a self-confidence is based on different factors. First of all if you begin a new task you begin to analyze “ have I ever do something like this?” , if you did you begin to remember and with the help of this you have an experience of the following question.

But if you never touch something like this question? What should you do next? What is your next step?

On the second you have 2 choices:

1. to give up and say “the world is cruel and my possibilities are not enough to do this”

2. to think on the task and to analyze all pluses and minuses and to be ready to have difficulties

Try to imagine yourself if you had done the task. What are you feeling? If its really joy and happiness, you should begin to create your next step: to talk with people, whom you are interested in and to be ready to use all useful possibilities. But if you fell that after finishing you regret that you begin? You loose something very important : faith, friendship- this task is not for you.

I’m sure that intuition should help you and if you have a difficult decision try to listen to her and keep your eyes open to all signes of the world. And remember not the world creates you but you create the world.

For Ukrainian people self-confidence is very important now, especially after Orange revolution 2004. All people now have a choice to change the way of leaving , thinking and say that they are proud of leaving in a new society with the new democratic principals. I think that all people who believed in a new power of our country have a strong self-confidence not only in themselves but in each other.

As for me I’m very proud of being a citizen of Ukraine and I’ll do my best to show Ukraine in world society in a way I see her.

Very energetic views.

**LouisLin** · 07-07-2005, 03:16 PM

Hello Dipendra:
I will remind you of a grammar rule.
help+V or help+to+V, not help+in Ving
You should bear this regulation in mind to avoid make the same mistake.

I will provide evidence for you, here is the Collin Cobulid dictionary's explanation:

help
If you help someone, you make something easier for them. When help has this meaning, it can be followed by an infinitive, with or without `to'. For example, you can say `I helped him to move the desk' or `I helped him move the desk'. There is no difference in meaning.
We must try to help students to have confidence in their ability.
Something went wrong with his machine so I helped him fix it.

You can also use help as an intransitive verb, followed by an infinitive with or without `to'. If someone helps do something or helps to do it, they help other people to do it.
They issued the organization's first pamphlets and helped arrange its first conference.
Dora helped to carry the wounded off the battlefield.
If something helps do something or helps to do it, it makes it easier for that thing to be done.
The money helped keep me off the streets for a while.
The performance of these actions helped to ease the tension.

WARNING
You do not use an `-ing' form after help. You do not say, for example, `I helped moving the desk' or `I helped him moving the desk'.
`cannot help'
If you cannot help doing something, you are unable to prevent yourself from doing it.
I couldn't help teasing him a little.
WARNING
You do not use a `to'-infinitive after cannot help. You do not say, for example, `I couldn't help to tease him a little'.
(c) HarperCollins Publishers.