DocFin Posted July 31, 2005 Share Posted July 31, 2005 What do you consider to be the most important room in a house? Why is this room more important to you than any other room? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion There is always one room that you prefer in your house. A room that makes you remember good souvenirs and where you share some activities with the person you care of. The importance of the architecture of this place is important too, its structure should easily invites you to come in. Without hesitations, the kitchen is my favourite room. Firstly, the kitchen is the room where I can retrace the best moments I had in my house. All the special diners and family receptions were taken in this part of the house. I remember when my sister receveid her driving license, it was a great moment. I can not describe all the important moments, but when I enter the kitchen, I just receive a flow of good memories. Furthermore, the kitchen is the place where you can share food with your friends and family. This is important in our modern life; our system being based more and more on competition, this is a special moment where I can talk and evacuate the stress of my work day. The others room of my house are enjoyable too, for the instance the living room with the big television and the DVD player, however I don't have the impression of sharing something with my friend in it. Finally, the architecture of the kitchen with the big wood table and its comfortable chairs makes it the room where I want the most to go after my work. The structure of the kitchen is agreable and imposes no effort to come in. In conclusion, while the kitchen is the room in my house where I had the most enjoyable, I think that it is its structure and its uses that make it my favourite place. 290 words in 28 minutes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LouisLin Posted July 31, 2005 Share Posted July 31, 2005 Global Structure needs persuasive arguements to address the topic task. I guess this essay can socre 4.0. What do you consider to be the most important room in a house? Why is this room more important to you than any other room? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion There is always one room that you prefer in your house. A room that makes you remember good souvenirs and where you share some activities with the person you care of. The importance of the architecture of this place is important too, its structure should easily invites you to come in. Without hesitations, the kitchen is my favourite room. [good introduction] Firstly, the kitchen is the room where I can retrace the best moments which I had in my house. All the special diners and my family receptions were always taken[somehow it is informal] in this part of the house. I remember when my sister receveid her driving license, it was a great moment. I can not describe all the important moments, but when I enter the kitchen, I just receive a flow of good memories. [your example is ordinary.] Furthermore, the kitchen is the place where you can share food with your friends and family. This is important in our modern life; our system being[what are system beings] based more and more on competitions, this[share tasty food with my friends or family] is a special moment where I can talk with others and evacuate the stress of my work [day]. The others room of my house are enjoyable too, for the instance, the living room with[has] the big television and the DVD player[one sentence should have one verb], however I don't have the impression of sharing something with my friends in it. [not a persuasive arguement] Finally, the architecture of the kitchen with the big wood table and its comfortable chairs makes [it] the room where I want the most[mostly] to go after my work. The structure of the kitchen is agreable[agreeable] and imposes me no effort to come in. [ok] In conclusion, while the kitchen is the room in my house where I had the most enjoyable, I think that [it is] its structure and its uses [that] make it my[a] favourite place for me. 290 words in 28 minutes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ziyod Posted July 31, 2005 Share Posted July 31, 2005 Hi! I lile your essay and your room :) Most of all I like your Introduction. What do you consider to be the most important room in a house? Why is this room more important to you than any other room? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion There is always one room that you prefer in your house. A room that makes you remember good souvenirs and where you share some activities with the person you care of. The importance of the architecture of this place is important too, its structure should easily invites you to come in. Without hesitations, the kitchen is my favourite room. Firstly, the kitchen is the room where I can retrace the best moments I had in my house. All the special diners and family receptions were taken in this part of the house. I remember when my sister receveid her driving license, it was a great moment. I can not describe all the important moments, but when I enter the kitchen, I just receive a flow of good memories. Furthermore, the kitchen is the place where you can share food with your friends and family. This is important in our modern life; our system being based more and more on competition, this is a special moment where I can talk and evacuate the stress of my work day. The others room of my house are enjoyable too, for the instance the living room with the big television and the DVD player, however I don't have the impression of sharing something with my friend in it. Finally, the architecture of the kitchen with the big wood table and its comfortable chairs makes it the room where I want the most to go after my work. The structure of the kitchen is agreable and imposes no effort to come in. In conclusion, while the kitchen is the room in my house where I had the most enjoyable, I think that it is its structure and its uses that make it my favourite place. 290 words in 28 minutes. + a few spellings Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vvaann Posted July 31, 2005 Share Posted July 31, 2005 What do you consider to be the most important room in a house? Why is this room more important to you than any other room? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion There is always one room that you prefer in your house. A room that makes you remember good souvenirs and where you share some activities with the person[people] you care of[for]. The importance of the architecture of this place is important too,[should be a semicolon here instead of a comma] its structure should easily invites you to come in. Without hesitations, the kitchen is my favourite room. [Good intro] Firstly, the kitchen is the room where I can retrace the best moments I had in my house. All the special diners and family receptions were taken[take place] in this part of the house. I remember when my sister receveid her driving license, it was a great moment. I can not describe all the important moments, but when I enter the kitchen, I just receive a flow of good memories. [Fine] Furthermore, the kitchen is the place where you can share food with your friends and family. This is important in our modern life; our system[what do you mean by ‘system’?] [is] being based more and more on competition, this is a special moment where I can talk and evacuate the stress of my work day[just remove this]. The others room of my house are enjoyable too, for the[just remove] instance the living room with the big television and the DVD player, however I don't have the impression[inappropriate word] of sharing something with my friend in it. [This sentence is erroneous grammatically; review it!] [You had an idea in this paragraph but failed to express it] Finally, the architecture of the kitchen with the big wood table and its comfortable chairs makes it the room where I want the most to go[try another verb here; stay in or rest in, for instance] after my work. The structure of the kitchen is agreable and [it] imposes no effort to come in[??]. [The idea was good but it wasn't supported by good arguments or examples. You just mentioned that your kitchen had a table and chairs!!!] In conclusion, while the kitchen is the room in my house where I had the most enjoyable, I think that it is its structure and its uses that make it my favourite place. [You should definitely re-write this conclusion. It has only one sentence and, additionally, the two clauses of it don’t fit each other] 290 words in 28 minutes. Comments: - You had good ideas to write about but you had difficulties expressing them clearly - You tend to use some phrases that you're not sure of. Be careful! - The intro and the first body para were good. However, your writing quality degraded towards the end - Keep writing! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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