spend or save money

[minisarah]

0032 Is it better to enjoy your money when you earn it or is it better to save your money for some time in the future? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

 

Money is very necessary in life. Money can be used just after we earn it or at some time in the fututre. I think it's better to save my money for the future.

Firstly, earning money is not easy but using money effectively is even more difficult. The purpose of spending money depends on the age and the knowledge. Now i'm just a little girl so it's very natural if i waste my money on unecessary things such as clothes, toys, etc. If i save money and use it when i become an adult with much more knowledge and experiences, i will know how to use money for the most important purposes of my life, such as studying, getting married, or investment.

Second, in the future i have to do everything independently. That means i will also have to earn money to cover my living. Whereas, now i can have support from my parents.The money i save today may be a significant support for my needs in future, for example, to help my family or my self.

Finally, the reason why i'd like to save my money for future is the uncertain risks in life. No one can say what life would be. In my opinion, the money we save today resemble an insurance premmium. It will ensure a financial ability for us to get over all the damages and troubles we face in future.

Life requires us spend money for our needs. But the important thing is that whether we use it for present purposes or future ones. I think we must consider it carefull counting on the uncertainties in future. We should prepare for the whole life.

[leosnake]

In the introduction part, it's better to summarize the ideas we will develop later in just one sentence.

 

Pay attention to the usage of {first, second, ..., finally} and {firstly, secondly, ..., lastly}

 

"Now i'm just a little girl so it's very natural if i waste my money on unecessary things such as clothes, toys, etc. " -> Now i'm just a little girl, therefore I may easily waste my money on unecessary things such as clothes, toys, etc. (don't use "if" here)

Be careful that I must be "Capital" ( not "i" but "I")

 

"such as studying, getting married, or investment" -> ...or doing business (investment may be used for any kind of using money)

 

Paragraph 1 is quite good.

 

"the reason why i'd like to save my money for future is the uncertain risks in life." -> I prefer to save my money for the future is also because of the uncertain risks in life.

 

premmium -> premium (not necessary to use)

 

"Life requires us spend money for our needs." -> Life requires us to spend money for our needs.

 

"consider it carefull " -> consider it carefully

 

It's better to separate the paragraphs with one or two blank lines. The scorer would highly appreciate it.

 

In overall, this is a very good easay with interesting ideas and various expressions.

You would get a score of 5 if you get rid of some "stupid" errors.

Good luck